“But I know the truth: there's no going back. You've changed things... forever.”

 

 

“But I know the truth: there's no going back. You've changed things... forever.” 

― The Joker, The Dark Night

“Sometimes you have to kind of die inside in order to rise from your own ashes and believe in yourself and love yourself to become a new person.”

― Gerard Way

“Remember,too,that all who succeed in life get off to a bad start,and pass through many heartbreaking struggles before they "arrive". The turning point in the lives of those who succeed usually comes at some moment of crisis,through which they are introduced to their "other selves".”

― Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich

“You’ve changed things… forever!” Mr. J’s famous words that he first heard in a teaser trailer in Indianapolis ran through his head.  “You’ve changed things… forever!”  “You’ve!”  “You!”  “YOU!”  “YOU’ve changed things… FOREVER!”

He stared out into the morning sky and he knew he had.  HE had changed things FOREVER!  It was not an easy process.  It took over two years.  It cost him a lot.  Not necessarily money.  It cost him time.  It cost him effort.  It had cost him some friends.  However, where they really friends if they caused you pain?  No, probably not.  His commitment, dedication, and sacrifice to his new life was the stuff legends are made of.  HE had changed things FOREVER.

The picked up and blew his hair into his face.  It was blowing out to sea. His hair was longer than it had ever been.  He moved his right hand underneath his Garmin swim and fumbled for the rubber that was fit snuggly underneath it.  He slipped it over his hand and fingers and stood there waiting for the wind to die down.  When it did he looked up to the cloudy sky and let his hair fall back.  Then at the same time he right hand and left pulled his hair back into a tail.  He held it with his right hand and then did a sweep for missing hair with the left.  He then switched all the hair to the left hand and let the right sweep for loose strands.  He brought both hands back together and then dancing the rubber off his left fingers he locked his hair in place behind his head.  HE had changed things FOREVER.  He chuckled.  He remembered when he had first decided to grow his hair out.  It was 2012 and he was a Red Smoke Grill with a pretty girl and he said you think I should, she said, yes and the rest was history.  He thought maybe I have had two or three haircuts in the last two years?  Then he was struck by a thought about beard trimmings.  He never counted his beard trimmings as a haircut.  Was it a haircut?  He went to the barber shop sometimes. Not a proper haircut.      

Thinking of his beard his right hand involuntarily went to his face and ran across the stubble.  He shaved yesterday before he boarded the plane to come here.  He was amazed at how fast it grew back.  He had worn a beard for the better part of 5 years living in exile why he waited for his new life to begin.  He hide behind it, because he hated what his faced looked like hidden in a sea of fat.  HE had changed things FOREVER.  Two hundred and forty nine pounds lost through clean living, moving, and loving he had certainly done that. 

He looked back towards the parking lot.  Then turn back to the water and shed his tank top and then his gym shorts.  He squatted quickly in between the two marble slabs that were his legs and rested his arms on his thighs.  HE had changed things FOREVER.  His legs were huge.  They had always been huge.  However, swimming, biking, and running off 249 pounds had made them bigger if that was possible.  He took pride in these marble slabs.  He took pride in knowing they made him a force as a cyclist.  He loved the fact that instead of dreading hills he raced to them, so he could race up them.  As there was nothing better than coming down the other side.  HE had changed things FOREVER.

He dropped his shorts and shirt into his tri bag and grabbed his goggles.  Gave his thick thighs one more rub and stood up.  This was all part of the ritual he did before every open water swim.  Standing here on Hapuna Beach looking into this wonderful bay would be no different.  First rub his massive legs and stand.  Look down at the beach, but more importantly to his toes and wiggle them in the sand.  He liked seeing his toes.  How many years was he unable to look down and see his toes.  Next his eyes would close and he would roll his head front to left, left to back, back to right, right to front.  Once, twice, three times.  What would someone on the beach think if they saw him?  He honestly didn’t care.  Somewhere in his 38^th year he had stopped giving a fuck about what other people thought. It has set him free. HE had changed things FOREVER.

His right arm would then cross his as he continued to roll his neck.  His hand would ritualistically touch the ink on his left arm.  The symbol that said “Believe” and he had believed.  For the first time in his life he had believed and HE had changed things FOREVER.

Once he finished his embrace of his left arm, he did the same with the right arm. However, this time the symbol he touched was the “Sun”.   What was creation and life without the brightness of the sun?  Was the sun not as much of a part of his transformation as his determination and his believe?  Yes it was.  He was a creature of the Sun.  From his day of white trash tanning behind his car with the puppy on her leash until now, he was a creature of the sun.  HE had changed things FOREVER.

After the embrace of the right arm both hand would go to his back and touch the Black Reaper that rested there.  HE had changed things FOREVER.  He had risen.  He had accepted his dual nature.  He had forgiven himself for being weak and insecure.  For needing other to accept him when he could not.  For being weak, letting himself be lead around by the nose, for not knowing when to walk away from a bad hand he had been dealt and for being too stupid to move on. HE had changed things FOREVER.  His reaper was one of the four reminders. 

From his back his hand moved to his heart and they rested there for a moment on his forth tattoo.  HE had changed things FOREVER.  重生 or rebirth was scribble over his heart.  Because after all had he not died and been reborn?  Most people from his old life as an accountant didn’t recognize him now.  People now would never believe he weighed 476 pounds and lost it through hard work and not getting a surgery or some other gimmick. HE had changed things FOREVER.  His life was his own now.  He pulled his goggles on and put his earphones in his ears.  Then flipped the switch on the iPod and hit the up button twice to increase the volume.  The iPod blared Duran Duran and Wild Boys.  He was a wild boy.  HE had changed things FOREVER.

He looked out into Hapuna Bay.  What did it mean the “Spring of Life” and now he had reborn into this new life which he loved and cherished.  HE had changed things FOREVER.  He moved his left foot forward and then the right.  He felt the rush of life surge through him.  Left foot would sink in the sand, and then the right foot would.  He was at an open sprint when he hit the water and dove in.  He let the cool water wash over his reborn body.  HE had changed things FOREVER. Then he eased into his stroke.  He pulled and glided and stoked and let the sea swallow him whole.  HE had changed things FOREVER.

LET THE BLACK REAPER RISE!