Beware the Ids of March
I know the Ids is march 15, but what a great name for a blog on day 1 of the month of March
March 1st is always the same day of the week as that special Holiday on November 1:)
March is named for the roman god of war! I'm fighting a war!
March also rings in the spring some calendars is today some on the equinox.
Either spring is the eternal symbol of rebirth! And I need to be reborn.
I'm gonna tell you a story. I want to do a video but can't figure out how to do it. So we will resume next Saturday.
I'm mad. I'm angry. And I know it's all my fault. How could it not be? I'm fat. Like orca fat. Like uncomfortable to move around fat. This is nothing new. It's a fact. For 37 years I was writing a swan song or suicide letter with my continuous weight gain. This is fact. I stopped writing that letter when I found this blog. I found a new path, and a new hope.
So here I am. In paradise. I mean fuck it's beautiful here. So beautiful. I'm hear w good people and making new friends! I'm hopeful for tomorrow!
These people are doing amazing things. Helicopter rides, golf, surfing, paddle boarding, swimming, work out classes, basketball, well just about everything u can do! I'm sitting by the pool. Why bc it's all I can comfortably do. Don't get me wrong I love the pool. I love lamping by it. Soaking up rays and being awesome in it. However I realize it's not enough. It's never going to be enough. And I'm not doing all that other stuff bc it hurts. Bc I didn't take care of me and I became a cripple bc of my weight.
It makes me mad. So fucking mad! You realize u want and need more than an ordinary life, average, lame life.
I want to go golf, run, hike and don't get me wrong I could do any of that for a small amount of time and I will today. I'll do a bit of walking and I'll walk the hill for the 3rd time.
I want more. I need more is what I'm trying to say and in the month of march, the time of rebirth and new starts I start new.
I'm gonna do this!
I choose life! Health, happiness !
I let go of the bad gunky!
I breath and absorb hope and love!
I choose a life to be proud of!
And if I could video blog that's what I'd say!
I can and will do this! Next time I'm on the islands I'll be on the pics and you'll be like wow! That's the real Billy b! He has risen like a Black Reaper in the night! Like the sun does every day. What you won't recognize is the cleansed soul. Bc I release all the anger, heart ache, and bitterness. I forgive the world and it forgives me. I accept who I am and what I've been. I am forgiving those who wrong or I have perceived wronged me.
Wow! What an amazing release! Foreignness. And though there is a few I am still having trouble forgiving, and they know who they are, they really do, I will in time. I will in time. I'm not a piece on a board. I never was and never will be.
However releasing the anger at 99% and 100% for perceived slights, it's amazing. My neck just released all this tension! My heart opened up and my smile spread my face!
I'm opening my self to peace, love, and hope.
It sounds corny but my gods it is needed!
Life is beautiful and it's good to be alive!
Come with me! You come with
Me and RISE above this! Ears have a wonderful life :)
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