Everyone who reads this and knows me knows I am emotion. it radiates from me. however, i can't cry. Even though I think I need to, I can't. the last time I cried as we all should know by now is when Angel showed up at Prom and surprised Buffy. Yes, we are pathetic at times. Sometimes when I watch a show and it shows me true beauty, my eyes well up with tears. They don't always fall, but they do well up. That is what what happened when I read this post on my facebook. I don't know why exactly other than now it is my time, the time of Billy b, the Black Reaper. Its my time to stand above and rise. Its ok to be selfish. I am 38 and I shouldn't feel like Iam going to die every day because of my weight. Or because I am stressed out over a job, which quiet frankly just isnt that important. I will never save a life in my day job. I might in my other job. I might help and inspire one other person. To stand with me and believe in the power of the self. To rise above and true to what we want out of the time we are given on this earth. KA is a wheel. KA is hope. KA is failure. Ka is life. All things serve KA and the beam. Now it is my time to serve my KA and my beam. It is time to stand an be true. I don't know whaere tonight will lead tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that. What I do know is by then of 2017 it will end at a finsih line and getting a tattoo of the dot m. I have always know I would rise above and be more. This is my life, my time, my hopes, my dreams. This battle is not about dreprivation. This battle is about addition. Addition of fuel and love to lead a life worthy of living. One that my nieces and nephews can tell their children and grandchildren about. How their depressed morbidly obese uncle, defied the world and its judgements and changed his life, one step, one moment, one bite, one lap, and one blog at a time.
Words to live by:
“If my mind can conceive it, and my heart can believe it - then I can achieve it.” ― Muhammad Ali, The Soul of a Butterfly: Reflections on Life's Journey.
"Let the Black Reaper Rise." Billy b, The Buddy System Blog
"Stand and be True." Stephen King, Dark Tower Cycle
"And..... The Tower is Closer!" Billy b, The Buddy System Blog based off similar words said by Stephen King.
"If I would, could you?" Alice in Chains, Would
I don't care who you are and what you situation is. I forgive you. I am sorry. Its ok. We all have our own issues. Can you forgive me? I have. Know that there is always hope. We can rise above anything and we can do anything we put our minds to. Depression can be over come. Fear can be over come. Hate and anger all can be over come.
I forgive you Billy b, I forgive you. I love you Billy b. I do. Today is about HOPE. The future is now. No more living for tomorrow, only living for what is today.
I have to much momentum to lose now.
Thank you Tyson! Its time!
From Facebook post:
I've only talked to Bill over the phone but tonight we both start a new journey. Helping those that need to change their relationship with food is something that I have thought about doing for over 5 years now. Tonight I get the chance to hike a new path as well. At 8am my alarm will go off and I will start prepping until I have to go train and then tonight I get the chance to truly pay it forward. I sincerely thank you for the opportunity, new friend!
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