Thru a fog...

Thru a fog...

Do you know how I know I am happy?  Really happy?  I sing in the car.  I was happy in the way home tonight.  I was smiling so big.  I just felt good.  Perhaps it's because I

choose to believe.  Words have power and what I wrote today inspired me.  I got so much positive feedback on it, thanks everyone!  I take your words to heart.  I held long placer with a good friend.  So walking to the car I couldn't but to smile!  I got a great quote about myself from another friend and it to made my night, she did a test for me and this is what it said ""People think u are witty and slightly full of it. 

Loyal and fair minded.  You've experienced high highs and low lows in life and ready to move past the drama.All you want do is create a good future for those u love and be respected for who you are". I couldn't have said it better myself.  So I got into snowflake and grinned. It felt so good!  I was so happy!  I plugged in my iPod and went to all song and just cranked it up!  The set started with "she talks to angels", then we and yes I say we, because mind takes me away to a place where I'm on acoustic guitar and playing with my good buddy Q, your all there, I'm normally playing a fundraiser for TNT.  It's at the local pub, and his band is in from Atlanta. I'm not sure if you know she talks to angels but it starts with guitar a few chords and stops, then it's like another guitar joins in, and then the first stops.  It's like they are chasing back and forth, forth and back.  In my mind I'm Ka-Mai and I play the part and play it up to the crowd. I got on stage and act real nervous and say thanks for coming to our fundraiser we are fighting the good fight against blood cancers, and I'd like to finger pick a tune for you.  Yes finger pick.  I'm good with my hands and I studied the art of classical guitar and finger picking in San Francisco around the turn of the century.  So I start to pick the. I screw up and stop, I'm flustered.  Then Q walks on stage and he hammers out his chords.  At this point in the car I start the track over and I try to finger pick again after Q walks off stage.  Only to screw up again and have him come out and rip off his riff.  Start track over again. Same thing happens and now the crowd is starting to turn against Q they are like what a dick, let the kid play and finish.  Start track over, I finger pick my riff, he does his, but this time I fire back and pick more, then he does.  Start track over and back and forth and the crowd is lien what's going on and then I break into "she never mentions the word addiction in certain company!"" The entire band kicks in, it was a ruse and the kid is singing.  That's right singing and he is good.  Very bluesy voice and and I nail it.  She talks to angels turn to "laid" and after laid we rock out to "mr jones" and this is followed up by me solo doing "how to safe a life".  Then normally i can't sing anymore back my car because my voices has cracked so much, and the show ends in my mind, but I smile, and I laugh, because I'm happy.  The best part of the fantasy is who I am in it.  I'm me.  The real me.  The man who lives inside of the fat.  My true self who is governed by self love and happiness.  The one who has already faced all these demons.  The one who shows us we can win!  I see that person!  Do you?  He is amazing isn't he.  I think about him and I know he is coming soon.  

I told my friend this afternoon during our palaver that I know now more than ever that I'm going to win.  I'm going to be the person I want to be.  That I know that now.  I can't lose.  It's only a matter of time!  Do you see it?  Can you?  You need to because I am telling dreams will become reality and I smile.  I'm still smiling and I'm happy!  I will win!  See it!  And...

The tower is closer

Stand and be true 

See it!

Words have power!  so do smiles!

Drink in life with me and smile with and for me and who I am going to be!