Believe in Me…
I have gotten a couple of texts from two of the most important
women in my life, if not the two most important my Mom, and my Big Sister Bb
and they are worried about me.
Apparently, the tone of my blogs has taken on a negative connotation. Don’t be mad at me Rosie, your right up there
too. Sorry Dorothy and Rachel, you’re my
#1 and #2 on the West Coast, but Mom and Bb are tough to top. However, what I ask for any family or friend
that reads this blog to do one thing and one thing only. First always remember it is always darkest
before the dawn. It is the truth. Also remember a beautiful day without drama
is rare, which means to me there can be no light without dark; no happy without
sad; and no good without evil. So, I ask you as I poor my heart into each and
every page to do one thing and one thing only, I ask you for one thing and one
thing only: “Believe in Me”. I want to
believe so bad and I do. I see the
person inside the fat. I see the happy
person behind the sad. I mentally stable
person behind the depression. I see who
I want to be and I take steps towards him every day. I write about the bad gunky. I write about it because you have to purge
it. It has to come out. For me it is on the page. For me it is sharing it with the world,
because when I admit it to more than myself then it is real. This is my therapy. It is my gift and my curse. My entire life all I wanted to do was make
things good. Make happiness. I never did a lot of that. However, I still have time. I still have a path, and I still want to
believe. For me it is what it is. I want
to believe and therefore I will. For you
it is a leap of faith. Walk the path
with me or don’t, that decision I can’t make for you. All I can do is move forward. All I can do is be the white knight fighting
the black but not of devils, demons, tyrants, or gods, but of my own mind. So believe in me. We will, no I will make it you see. I actually have to admit, I have never felt
so confident about something in my life.
I believe in the power of the mind.
I believe in the power it has over not only the body but our daily
lives. I believe therefore I ask you to
believe in me. If you don’t its ok, not
everyone will make it to the tower with me.
The more the better, but if I walk alone, to the tower then I walk
alone. No matter what from this point
forward, I will stand and be true.
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