"I accept myself unconditionally right now!"
"I accept myself unconditionally right now!"
"I accept myself unconditionally right now!"
I wait for the negative thoughts to come but they don't. They are though. Unspoken. They don't have to be spoken. That's how powerful they are. They know they've won. They always win. The proof of their victory is on the coffee table or in the trash can. The Burger King wrappers are every where. I failed last night and lost a battle. I wish I could say there was a gallant battle and I tried not to eat, but there wasn't. I was over it, all of it. Work, life, whatever, I was over it and I wanted to use last night, so I fixed. I fixed good. It was a feast, that any binge water would have marveled at. Two double whoppers w bacon. A bacon double cheese and a large fry. Oh and a coke. The worst part is at three in the morning I was up hungry again. Guess that is what happens when you fill you self so full you want to throw up on crap. I had the house to myself last night bc roommate is traveling for work. So I fixed up real good.
When I said no more diets this isn't what I had in mind.
When I say "I accept myself unconditionally right now!" This isn't what I want to accept.
However it's part if who I am and what I'm doing.
I'm avoiding right now and therefore I'm using. I need to tell you about the big 3.
The three reasons why I'm where I am at.
1. Stress
2. Negative programming
3. The black dead or being dead or whatever you want to call the blackness that moves in parrell to my life.
I'm scared.
What if I face these things and don't lose weight?
Worse and more likely what if I face them and do! My god success is terrifying.
No comments:
Post a Comment