5800 and growing....

5800 times people of clicked on the link to my blog.  I know that doesn't mean 5800 people have read what I posted every day.  Hey that is ok.  People are at least going.  there have been as of right now 5801 page view or clicks into my blog.  Some one is readying... I guess that is a good thing.  I always told myself I would consider myself a scuessful writer if whatI wrote inspired or helped or meant something to just one reader.  If even 1/4 og the people that have clicked into the website, then I am very happy.   It means something for someone who has not faith in there gods given talent.  I think Ka has told me over and over I was ment to spin tails... so that is what I will do... like or hate them... laugh or cry... it is what it is... and this is all I was meant for.  If I am Ka-Mai and I am.  Then let the wheel of Ka turn.  5801 - i check this stat first on Friday and it was 5500, no one even responded to the email, I wonder if it sent... then Sunday it was at 5700, and not 5801, that is a lot of clicks to read my blog in a short time... Perhaps I should listen to the world and the gift it gave me.  perhaps my focus here... do my day job but focus on my passion.  Why spurn the one gift that I was truly given?  Perhaps that is why I drive home every night with tears in my eyes.  Perhaps.  Perhaps it is the anger i feel at myself for never being the person I was born to be.  Maybe the anger, so much anger.  so much hate.  so much black...  let's put aside for a minute and go back to the 5801 view, clicks, view of this "The Buddy System Blog" my attempt at following my dream :)  That makes me happy and clears the fog for a little bit.