Angry and full of hate

Yesterday was a good day from a weight management stand point.  Work out check.  Logged all pts and are under pts check.  Then why am I left with a pit in my tummy today? 

Perhaps it's because the first time ever I left a work out more pissed off than when I started?  Perhaps it's because I'm frustrated to tears?  I'm angry.  I feel betrayed and I'm full of hate.  The Black Dread is a commeth and I feel for anyone in my wake. It's good puppy is at day care and roommate is in RI.  I tend to be meanest to those who are close by, when I'm under the influence of the Black, even when they have nothing to do with my rage.

Rational is not the angry man.  It doesn't matter when slights are real or perceived.  The hate flows like water from a tap.  In a world filled with real challenges, I choose the ones that are hurtful to me to focus on.  It kick starts a fire and the gets out of control.  You try to bury yourself in your work but work is part of the issue isn't it. Isn't that what a lot of this stems from?  The statement unfifilled?  Yes some of it.  Some of it is what goes on in the shadows out of few of the eyes...  In the. I guess it doesn't matter... Does it?  I'll deal with it, like I always do, I'll fake smile and nod and make sure everyone else feels like it's all good and the ill squash the black like I always do... Give me a few days and I'll be hopefully again and then we can all feel better about this... I've been doing this for 38 years I guess I should know...  However... My problem is I never ever forget.  I remember everything... Every betrayal, promise, offer, whatever ... It's gets locked up in the black... 

Anyway off to Pleasanton and my spreadsheets ...  I do have to get puppy tonight and that actually makes me smile,  stupid puppy, making me like her and getting used to her being around.