What I love about Best Friends

What I love about Best Friends

What I love about best friends and I'm learning this over the last month or so is that they have the balls to give you the hard truths and sometimes that's exactly what you need to hear. 

My best friend who on several plains of the tower is my twin , soulmate, or arch nemesis sat me down today and did just that.

Bill it's called an eating disorder. She says to me. No one binges on McDonald's and then Burger King, then try's to purge it out unless they have one. She knows she has one too. 

She says to me all those people on the sidelines who like your blog aren't in the trenches with you like I am. For six years you've talked the talk. Saying what people want to hear, that's your "gonna do something about it!" No more it's time to put up or shut up. It's gonna be hard. But she loves and she wants me to be better. She wants me to have the life I have dreamed of, but she wants to see some action and w me there has always been a tomorrow or an excuse. I need to man up and consider my options. One very real option is gastric bypass. I her words it will give me my health back and then I can work on the mental shit later. Because lets be honest, this isn't just an eating issues. It's a self loathing and anger issue. It's the spoiled little boy who felt he never had enough attention throwing a tantrum ad trying to get the attention he feels he deserves. I'm in the words of my latest therapist "Batshit Crazy". No joke. Sure I have mommy and daddy issues, shoe me one person who doesn't. Sure I'm jealous of my siblings, show me one brother or sister who isn't. 

I always thought I would lose weight and get mentally an physically happy when I was ready. But what the fuck am I waiting for? Really really over weight, high blood pressure, and bad knees not enough. 

My whole life I've been weighting for that movie scene dare to be great moment. My whole life I've felt like the under dog in an epic tale 

I see myself losing this weight and being healthy as a Hero's trial. An in your face to everyone who ever said I can't and gave up hope on me. However you know what, they were right to not believe. Because I've never done anything about it. If this was a great fantasy epic, the towns people and princess would be fucked because the hero is to fat to get off the couch. Not because he can't, but because he never has tried. He's never really believed. And no Dorothy didn't say all of this to me today, she didn't have too. She said simple six years and he we are again at the beginning. I know you think bypass is a cop out. That's it's cheating but it's not. Do it for you. 

Because you do have an eating problem. Whether is binge eating, over eating, or food addiction you got a problem. You need to deal with it. 

I gotta had it to Kenny, Mana, Timmy Krug, and Dorothy for being good friends and telling me to get my yea out of my ass. They've all done it. Maybe it's time I listen to them. Maybe it's time I actually take the next step. For me. Because I need too. Because I have too. Because I want to. So tomorrow a new week starts. Right now the goal is 40 lbs. if we can do that then next February perhaps bypass but I have to take the first step first.