Background: about
two months ago I'm doing my day busy as all hell and I go a little late into my
bosses balance sheet review. I sit down
and I hear this ripppppppp. I'm like
what the fuck did my crotch just blow out, wouldn't be first time, it happened. So I'm like feeling around and trying to see
but trying to be sly bc I'm in a meeting and I just can't be grabbing my crotch
like Michael Jackson. So I feel nothing. So I sneak off to bathroom bc I know I heard
something rip and I got in stall and drop my drawers and I'll be damn if like
the left inseam split out. Never seen
anything like it. I was like way the
fuck I knew I felt a draft walking over hear.
Now: I clearly remember putting these pants in the
trash. I know I did. Well at least I thought I did. However, apparently, by trash I mean, I sent
them to the dry cleaners, and well, for over two months they have been out of
the rotation, well that was until today.
I swear there is a pants Gnome living in my house and he is stealing my
pants, b/c every day I seem to be down a pair of clean work pants. So I grabbed a pair of khaki’s and through
them on without thinking about it. The
entire ride u to work and walk into the building, I felt like something wasn’t
quite right. Things just felt way to
breezy down there. So, I slipped into
the bathroom, and I will be god damned if I don’t have the blown out khaki’s on
that, I know that I threw away. Now I am
more convinced than ever there is an evil pants Gnome in my house and he is
fucking with my pants. Now, I have to
navigate the entire day, 1 trying not to make the crotch hole any bigger, and
two knowing that I have a big ass rip in my crotch….
You have to love KA.
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