"We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like "I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should drive..." And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, which was going about a hundred miles an hour with the top down to Las Vegas. And a voice was screaming: "Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals?""
- Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
"We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon."
- Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
I've seen this scene before, many times, and on many flights. The look of disgust, apprehension, and out right fear when they are walking down the aisle towards you and hoping there aren't the port soul who will have to sit next to you. What they don't know is the seat next to you is already taken. It was mandated to you by the airline. They want to make sure everyone is safe and that means that this big boy had to but two seats. That's right.
It's 50/50 on what's cheaper first class or two seats. Depends on a number of factors. However you going to Vegas on a Sunday from San Jose and the only direct flight in town is in Southwest. Southwest mandated this fatty buy two seats, but hey if the flight isn't full I could get a refund.
The truth is even if they didn't make me by to seats I would anyway. I would because it's more comfortable. Well that not quite right. I would because it feels like the right thing to do. No one wants to be more uncomfortable than need be on a flight. No one want to pay hundreds of dollars to have a roll of fat sitting in your lap. That's at least what I think. I've read letters angry passengers have sent to airlines about the fat person next go them. How they smell. How there gross. How they take up to much space.
Look, I'm 99% sure I don't smell, bad. I've never had a complaint. I shower most days. I think I'm fairly hygienic but I do take up space. And looking at myself in a mirror or reflection isn't always pleasant. So I can understand not wanted to be cramped into a confined space with me. It take a special kind of person to want that.
You look down to your work because you have more important things to contemplate. Like what are you going to do to maintain your momentum over the next 72 hours stuck in one of the most debaucherous places on earth. Where sins, excess, and extravagance are routine. A place that takes more than it gives. They call it sin city for a reason. This was Sinatra's scene, built by Bugsy, and vibe of the place is one that freaks you out because it encourages our karnal nature.
So here I am sitting on a jet plane airplane and waiting for the captain to lock us in and take us at top speed to the desert. Wondering how in the fuck can I possible maintain? And maintain is all I wanted to do this week. Go there and back again and go even. That's more than I could ask for.
I went armed to Vegas with the only things I know to arm myself with Bermuda shirts, my tennis shoes, my walking app, a list from Tyson telling me what type of food to look for, and of course my tattered, and torn copy of the greatest book I've ever read "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas". What better way to avoid the pitfalls of Vegas than to read from the master himself Hunter S. Thompson.
We all remember our failure of a year ago. We went feeling down and out, however 30 pounds lighter after a month with Mom. Then we started on the booze. Then the cigarettes, and then began one of the longest running binges of our life. I hadn't drank in utter excess like that since the evil empire took my team away from me.
What was it that week and a half in March 2012 was it? Lord Nipples made the order to take my people from me? I'll hate the man till I die for that. I'll probably piss on his grave too. I wonder though did they know what that did to me? Not just the evil empire but my people? How it destroyed me and started to set me free? I wonder could they know? I drank more coors light in that time than a man should. I smoked cigarettes. Of course I ate. I are and I ate. Drank, ate, and smoked. I loved excess and loved every minute of it. The hang overs were tolerable. Little did I know rock bottom was coming to an airport near me. Words were said. "We don't have to listen to you anymore" words that can't be forgotten. And we drank, smoked and ate.
Funny how a year later I'd take Vegas by storm. Anxiety and depression have always feed my ability to destroy myself. This time I'd take no prisoner and give myself no quarter. I gain 30 lbs back and 10 more for good measure. What can I say excess is the world I know.
So, how can we possible expect to fail again? We know we are pre-disposed to destroy ourselves. We know we love beer and cigarettes. We love to eat. We can go 8 weeks of clean living but still have the need to to destroy.
We also know what you'd say. Don't worry. Just go have fun. Lots 72 hours. However we know from experience 72 hours can change everything. I can't trace 8 weeks for 72 hours. So how, how do I keep going forward, without going back?
I have to maintain.
So, I will do what I must.
First is seeing a successful trip and knowing what that means.
It means walking in accordance with my program every day. It means going to bed by midnight each night. After all this is a work convention, not a bachelor party. It means socialize but don't go crazy. It's important you get a pulse on your peeps. It's about following the principles Tyson has taught you. Eat real food. Don't eat fast food. Don't eat dessert, unless your sharing. Notice when your full. Eat slow. Remember we are on a journey. There is no right or wrong destination. Don't give up 8 weeks for something that isn't going to satisfy you. Don't forget how far you have come and how much of your issues we have dealt with. The tears swell in your eyes are real! Your winning! So don't stop now. It's a long slow process but your better and each day you get a little bit better than the day before. The wheel of KA is turning and your going to make it. Your fat but your losing in Las Vegas and that ok !
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