Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Please do me a favor and tell me what you see...


Tell me what you find and what you see when you do find it!

If you bear any love for me at all then follow the path below… and tell me what you find. 

Go to Google:


Type in

The Triathlon at Pacific Grove

or

Triathlon Pacific Grove

or even

the triathlon pacific grove

Hit the little eye glass looking icon or for you tech savvy folks just hit enter. 

Then select images and pow, you should see it, the first thing that comes up.  Do you?  Btw if you were difficult and used the third item it is the 2nd thing to come up.

 

Did you find it? 

 

What do you see?

 

 

 

Let me tell you what I see and then let me tell you what I know.  I see a man who despite his size was out there having a fucking blast and he was.  The whole day wouldn’t be a complete blast, b/c I won’t lie to the walk was hard, really hard for him.  However, he did it.  I also see a man who lacks focus.  I see a man who was smiling on the outside but dying on the inside.  I know that and I see that because me and that man are one in the same.  I see a man who was racing for cause that was bigger than him.  If you expand the photo and look over his right shoulder you will see the Angel he was racing for sitting on his shoulder.  He was out there and he was racing for a cure.  A cause so much bigger than himself and that is huge.  I see a man who doesn’t know the meaning of the word quit.  He wanted too.  The next day he almost did.  We have heard his plight before.  I know he was a broken man. 

Now almost two years later, I am/he is still broken.  That is the truth.  However, I am still resilient.  I am resilient and I refuse to go quietly into the night.  I refuse to back down.   I refuse to quit.  I have tried to destroy myself, had my heart broken, had a stress test, two EKG’s, swam thousands upon thousands of meters, and wrote non-stop.  I am heavier than I was then.  However, I am resilient.  I have made a decision.  I have decided to keep tri’ing.  I am going to race again, at the Triathlon at Pacific Grove.  I am really excited about this.  It will mean everything to me to cross the finish line.  

My food with Tyson is going great!

My mental health is better than it has been years (well most of the time)

I am dealing with the stress of my job.

I have gone into the dark recesses of my mind and dealt with my demons or at least started too.

I now know the difference between knowing the path and walking the path. 

I want to live.  To me living is racing.  To me living is Tri’ing.  To me, living is the game of triathlon.  To me it starts again at Pac Grove this September. 

I have walked both days this week already.  I will swim tonight.  I take the bikes to the shop this weekend. 

I am walking the path… I  am beginning to rise!

Finally, to answer the question I asked what do I see when I look at that picture, what do I really see?  I see hope.  I see freedom.  I see someone who is fearless (running around in neoprene).  I see my future.  I see my past.  I see the wheel of KA turning.    

RISE

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