I am dressed, nice stripped button down, khakis, and brown shoes. I am showered, shaved and ready to go. I choose my own destiny. I make my own reality.
Saturday was a great day! It was beautiful outside. I got to relax in the sun. You can’t ask for a better place to clear the mind, body, and the soul. As a child of the sun, I had to sit in it and meditate.
Then dinner with the most wonderful people I know. CP, JC, DS, RG, and HH a corner stone team in Team Billy b. This is most of my California family. These are the peeps that helped me see that I was more than just a man, I was something special and I deserve a life greater than what I was living. These people define everything the Buddy System is about. I am so honored they let me in their lives.
The birthday celebration for CP was super special. I don’t have enough words to explain how important and what an inspiration she is to me. All she has fought thru and to see her tonight smiling makes my heart fill with joy. You make this world a better place. I love you CP! Big Big!
Resilience is the word of the day, and resilient. I don’t give up. I don’t back down. I don’t walk away. I fight. I am in the war for my life and I loving it.
Some times it gets dark, to dark to see, but I fight through the darkness with KA as my guide. I see my tower in the distance. It is not a time or place, it is a weight. 222. Three twos. Two is after all my favorite number. I will stay positive. I will rise above.
I commissioned an artist this week to sketch my ideal body for me. From head to foot, I will give her the pictures I look at everyday of my life. I will achieve my ideal image. I will.
Today I also had a great swim! 1225 yards. I am exhausted. Check out the pics form the pool. Look how gorgeous my day was!
And now a story to try and finish off this blog but you won’t truly appreciate it because you weren’t with us tonight. However, let me try and put it into perspective for you.
At the end of dinner the waitress gave us pens to sign the bill with. The pen had a very distinct letter on it. That letter as “F”. Anyone who has ever spent 10 minutes with me knows that I love a certain word that starts with the letter “F”. Not fart, free, focus, fault, foreskin, freak, flip or any of those “F” words. No, No, No! I love the word FUCK. Fuck, fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck! I love it. The world fuck can be used in any situation to describe anything. What other word can do that.
So JC and I get these pens and we go on a tangent about all the things we can do with our new “F” pens because of course we are stilling them. Who doesn’t want an “F”ing pen, right? We can sign the “F”ing bill. Oh your are “F” now I am going to mark up your document. Oh thanks boss here is an “F” 4 U. So on and so forth we making all sorts of “F”’ing jokes. It was gran.
So when the five us leaving the restaurant JC says to me “Billy b, look, there is a Giant F on the glass!”
I turn and see it and I know right at the moment that I have my picture taking with this glass. I have to have a picture of me standing in front of the giant “F”. That way I can show anyone I want to tell to go get “F”ed this picture and it will do it for me.
Now this window is huge. It is almost as tall as the building. It is two of me across and we know that is big, big. So I am going to get my photo with this giant “F” and that is when I trip on the door stopper, and I will be “F”ed if I didn’t go face first into that glass window.
I shit you not. Face first into a glass “F”. ME face planted into an “F”. I hear gasps from all the people in my party, except one, RG, she is to busy laughing her head off at the sight of me faced planted into a window to wonder if anything could be wrong.
I get ready to push off the glass and that is when I heard it. The crackle. Then another, then another and that is when I see a spider web of cracks going all over the glass. The glass was literally shattering from my forehead spearing into it. All I could see behind the rapidly forming splits in the glass was the two chairs placed on either side of the fake fireplace.
Everything from this point in time happened in super slow motion. My hands reflexively went to push me away from the glass, but instead of having something to push on the glass fell away. I was falling head first through a glass window and I was going to break my neck falling into a chair. I could not fucking believe it.
I think it was at this time my long time training as a Jedi kicked in because (4 seasons of the clone wars over the last two weeks, ya, I am pretty much ready to take on the Empire myself, so fuck you or should I say “F”) instead of fighting the fall, I tucked into it. I instinctively dropped my left shoulder down towards the ground I was falling towards, while pulling back the right shoulder. My chins went down and tucked again my chest. Instead of falling I was now rolling. My knees and legs went into the fetal position and I continued my roll. I was falling fast through a shower of broken glass and a huge letter “F” but I was now using my training to my advantage and resifting my body weight.
I am not really sure how it happened but I ending up getting my left arm planted firmly on the ground and by doing so I was able to transport my enormous body weight. I was actually able to do a 180 and push off hard enough, that before I knew it I had not fallen, but rather landed safely in one of the chairs by the fire. I was sitting there no shit, hands on each arm rest, with my legs crossed looking at my friends who now were all staring in utter disbelieve.
I am not sure what they were more surprised by the fact I feel through a glass window head first, or the fact I was able to use my training to my advantage and summersault into the chair. Notice I say they were amazed because I was not. I mean I have lived most of my 38 years studying the force, not to mention I have been to Japan so that pretty much makes me a ninja. Don’t believe I am a ninja, just ask anyone who works with me what my access rights to the system are called, Ninja mother”F”er. Ninja. So go “F” yourself.
The manager and the hostess came running over to me. Now, look, at this point I am pretty much in shock and I can’t be responsible for what came out of my mouth. I was wearing a shit load of glass in my sun kissed hair and in my beard. I am even pretty sure I had some shards in my chest hair. I picked some out of my legs and my shirt was diced up pretty good. I think I hit my head pretty hard as well. So again this is what RG and DS tell me I said, so take it for what it is worth.
The hostess and manager come running up to me. Asking me over and over if I am ok. If I am ok. What happened? Am I all right? Why would I jump through there glass? Did I fall? Am I drunk? The questions were rapid fire. I just looked at them and said, “That’s what you get for not remembering the caramel I ordered with my lava cake mother fucker!” I mean honestly they did forget it. ‘F”ers.
The next thing I remember clearly is talking to the policemen and an EMT. They were all pawing me over making sure I was ok. Amazingly and I think Jedi training has a lot to do with this, I was not cut. Not one scratch. I told I tripped, they said I would have to go to the emergency room to get checked out. I bitched and moaned. They bitched at me.
Then I will be “F”ed if a freaking reporting from the Merc isn’t taking pictures of me. Talking about how bizarre it was for a ………
Oh fuck it… I hope I got a chuckled or too.
I tripped on the doorstopper and I did hit the window, but I was able to stop momentum in time before I really hit the glass.
Happy Fucking weekend People! I feel great! My life is starting fresh and new. I look forward to it. I great everyday as a new challenge and I am ready to start pushing myself again as hard as I can.
I hear the Tri’s calling me back to them. I see great racing in my future. As of this moment in time I AM free. I am right and I am alive.
I am selfish and obsessed with winning this war. I WILL DO THIS! Remember I have changed things forever and the WORLD IS MINE!
Never forget we are RESILENT and we have five principles to live by:
I am a dreamer!
I live to get Radical!
I am free!
I am honest!
I am FEARLESS!
Go then there are other worlds than THESE!
Dare to be great and Let the Black Reaper RISE!
The week that was....
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