Tuesday, April 1, 2014

honest



-          Sigmund Freud


-          Hunter S. Thompson

 

Honest

 

What do you want to be? Truly? What do you want to be Billy b?

I want to be honest!  In my life, my writing, my work, everything! I want to be honest! 

Billy b’s theory on blogging if it happens in my life then it has the potential to be written on this blog.  I have to be honest about that.  I am upfront and telling you this now.  This blog is my journal.  It is where I put pen to paper every day and talk about what is going on in my life.  I have good intentions here and I am trying to be one of sound and honorable principles.  I like to claim I am a liar and a thief, I am really neither. 

There are exceptions to every rule.  My exceptions go like this:

1)      Ask me not to talk about it? I can’t in good faith betray that trust. 

2)      Family.  Look we all have the skeletons in our closets and the truth is everyone says my family is fucked up, but I am here for me to fix me, that is all I can do, so that is what I have to talk about.

3)      Politics.  You don’t want to hear about mine and frankly I don’t want to hear yours.  I am not trying to save the world in this blog, just my life.

This blog is my safe haven.  A place where I can talk about the daily struggles I face trying to change my life.  Trying to get better and trying to change.  I might say things on here you find offensive.  Or you might “oh god, he is pathetic.”   Honestly, what you think of me, I don’t care.  I played that game.  For a long time I looked for approval in others.  I tried to identify with their wants and needs.  Where did that leave me?  It left me alone, fat, and unhealthy. 

If what I say here upsets you then don’t read it.  I simply state where I am coming from in and of that moment when I turn to my true talent and start writing.  I write in the moment for the moment and of the moment.  My only goal is to be able to look back and say I gave it my all.  I did what I could do.  I changed my life. 

Every day I change. Every day I get better.  What else can we ask for? 

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