I want to be a dreamer!

 

 

 

“Celine: So you're telling me that successful relationships... are made in heaven? Notfounded on the daily practicality... of two people being prepared... to tolerate the imperfections of one another?

Robert: It's not successful relationships, Celine. It's love. And it comes from a strange and wonderful place... that we don't know about.

Celine: So you also reject the idea... that love is merely an emotional adaptation... to a physical necessity?

Robert: Completely.

Celine: Are you serious?

Robert: Fate intervenes in people's lives. In ours, for instance. Fate brought us together. It kept us together. We were destined for one another.

Celine: Fate had a pretty strange way of making its point.

Robert: But that's part of the beauty of it. It's inexplicable, unpredictable... and absolutely beyond control or understanding.

Celine: But you nearly got killed.

Robert: But I didn't... and here we are.

Celine: Do you have any substantial evidence to back all this?

Robert: None at all.

Celine: And you realize that it's absurd and irrational?

Robert: I know that.

Celine: Then why do you believe it?

Robert: Because, Celine, I'm a dreamer.

Celine: Well, I guess that makes two of us.

Robert: Are you ready?

Celine: As I'll ever be.

Robert: Then let's go.” 

 

-       Ewan McGregor (Robert) and Cameron Diaz (Celine), A Life Less Ordinary (1997)

 

“Be a dreamer. If you don't know how to dream, you're dead.”

-       Jim Valvano

 

“I was a great dreamer of day dreams.”

-       Abraham Cahan

 

“I am a dreamer. Seriously, I'm living on another planet.”

-       Eva Green

 

What do you want to be? Truly? What do you want to be Billy b?

I want to be a dreamer! In my life, my writing, my work, everything! I want to be a dreamer!

Have you ever heard me refer to my two or three deaths?  Do you want to know why I was dead?  It was because my mind was so distracted I forgot how to dream.  Nothing more and nothing less, I feel dead if I can’t dream, if my mind is not creating, being active, or running free. 

I am a dreamer, I have always known this.  I was after all the little boy or big boy or grown man if you will on his swing living his dreams through his mind.  I am not sure why my swing strengthened the fantasy, I just know it did.  The worlds I have seen.  The plots I have partaken in.  I am not sure how many times I won the College World Series, but I know it was at least 8.  I dated just about every woman I ever had a crush on in my dreams.  Including but not limited to Drew Barrymore, Alla Korot, Danica McKellar, and Laura Carr (known to me always as Arlene Piper, or Aja both people I created based on her likeness.) 

The stronger I get in my mind and body.  The more I want to dream.  The more I need to dream.  That is why the vision portrayed in the Black Reaper writings is so important.  It is the dream I see of my future the dream that is waiting to come true.  I have to be able to dream.  If I lose that ability, then kill me. For what is life without dreams? 

I speak of dreams and fantasy interchangeably.  To me they are.  To me they always have been.  Growing up I lived two lives the one in this plan of existence and one in another plan that my mind made up in my dreams.  In that existence I was everything I couldn’t be in this one.  I loved my dream world. I still go to it often.  It is a place where my fiction was born and runs wild.  It is the imagination the helps me put pin to page.  It is everything that I am.

Without it, I am nothing. 

I want to use my dreamer qualities to help with my writing. I want to show others who and what I am.  What I want and need to be. 

I want to be a dreamer.  I really want to be dreamer.  I want a dreamer in my mind, my heart, and my soul.