3.1 the hard way....

I have done this walk 100 times probably since I moved into this house four years ago.  I leave my house walk down meridian to redmond, I cross the street, then walk back home.  Its three miles.  I have done it in as little as 58 minutes and as many as an 1.5 hours.  Some days it is really easy.  Some days it is really hard.  Today was a hard day.

My body reminded me that being 465 pounds is hard for any body.  I was walking hard on the way out.  I was walking and moving and feeling good.  My shoulders were back and my head held high.  I was moving.  I didn't care who was looking.  Fuck them.  They don't matter.  Only getting better matters.

I was never able to lose myself in fantasy today.  my mind rejected my dreams.  It happens some times.  The problem is when I can't get lost in the labyrinth rat trap is my mind means I am in the present.  The present normally sucks.  

About a mile into the walk, I felt my left shine lock.  I felt it grower tighter and tighter.   Once the shins go, the rest of walk usually follows.  So, I tried once again to get lost in my mind.  I tried to see the future.  I tried to see where I was going not where I have been.  I tried to see into my dreams.

the combination of the music in my ears and mind normally transport me to another time and another place.  Another life.  The life I was born to live.

That wasn't in the cards today.

All my focus kept coming back to the shin.  The pain.  I would reject focusing on this, but then come back to it.

Halfway home I started stepping on the outside of my left foot.  When this happens, we must be cautious.  Since 1997 my left ankle has been shot.  Fucking cobble stones.  Those motherfuckers used to eat me alive.

Thus began my hobble.  I thought about turning off and taking the short cut home.  However, not today hobble or not we would keep going.  That is what we do.  We keep on keeping on like a bird that flew.

So that is what I did.  I got home going .1 mile further than last week in only two minutes more.  All in all I have to be ok with that.

Two swims this week.  A walk and tomorrow a ride/walk.

I have to be at VTA at 8:45 to roll.

I am going to try and use what energy i have to focus on the positive.  I am seeing myself riding out 20 minutes and turn back for twenty and feeling great doing it.  I can't fear the bike.  If I fear the bike I won't ride the bike.  If I don't ride the bike, then I can not tri.

Well... i hope you weekend it awesome, I am going to go talk to the dog.  She listens :)

Happy Weekend!