Matters of the Heart III:
Still out of rhythm
I won’t lie to you I have never had rhythm. When I was a military school summer camp I
was never in step. When I played
guitar, I was never on the beat. Hell,
when I try to sing at my desk and keep time while tapping my toe, I was out of
rhythm then too. So, I guess when the doctor
told me my heart was still out of rhythm today, I shouldn’t have been
surprised, right. I have searching old archives for a video of me dancing but I can't find one :( That would have been awesome to show you how out of rhythm I can be.
My 2nd visit to the cardiologist in 6 days was a much better
session than last Thursday. I would like to tell you I was as cool a cucumber,
but I wasn’t. No matter how hard I
tried, I was stressed, and worried. Last
Thursday the light bulb that has been flickering on and off over the last 15
months finally kicked all watts on and started burning bright. Play time is over, folks, we are playing the
game of life now. This is no longer a
journey to just lose weight, it is a survival guide. I got that last week. Finally, I had the dare to be great movie
moment. The “Ah ha” moment right before
the montage when the hero starts to do all things he needs to do in order to
best the antagonist. I am playing for
keeps and there are no points for second place.
I win or I die. I am good at
things when they are simple.
I am not trying to be the drama queen here. I am not looking for pats on the back or
people to tell me it’s all gonna be fine, and that I am doing good. If I was doing good, I wouldn’t be 39, and
have two trips to the cardiologist in 6 days.
I wouldn’t have an irregular heart beat (most likely). I wouldn’t have stroke level blood
pressure. I simply state the truth and
the heart of the matter. I win or I
die. This entire blog has been about one
thing and that is saving the life of one William Bryan Burkle aka Billy b or
the Kid. It is the bottom of the nights,
two on and two out and I looking at a full court press. However, and hear me very well, I will
survive, and I will get bye.
My blood pressure at 153/96 is still too damn high. I am still in AFIB, I am still at a high risk
of stroke. The bright side is that the
BP has come down. He has prescribed another
medication to help me get in rhythm and he is keeping me on the anti-stroke
meds for the time being. He did mention
gastric bypass three times. I cringed at
the words, however, GP is a tool, and a means to an end, and if I could below
400 then perhaps, we will do that dance.
There will be lots of consulting with friends and family on this. I don’t want that. I have never wanted that. It takes the romance out of my hero’s
trial. I feel like it is a giant
cheat. However, we are at End Game
now. All bets are off. So, I am thinking depending on my BP the doc
is going to be pushing for that, and again, for the first time in my life, I am
like, oh shit, maybe I should think about it.
I worry though. The last time I
considered GP I feel like I gave up on life. I went into a serious McDonald’s binge and I
gained 60 pounds. I can’t do that this
time. I have to relax and focus on
bringing down the blood pressure and working on my heart rhythm.
His big concern right now before he starts talking about what is next
and if I can live a long and healthy, is getting back into rhythm, b/c risk of stroke
looms large, if we don’t. So I think I
already said that we have a new medicine that is supposed to help with the rhythm
of my heart. I go back to see him in two
weeks. If I don’t get back into rhythm
he has to decide to give it more time with a higher dose.
However the other option is Electrical Cardioversion. Now that sounds scary as hell! Apparently, they are literally talking about
restarting my heart to shock it back into rhythm. I am hoping the meds, the new diet, and the
walking really works out!
Finally, I had a little Q&A with my doctor and you have to remember
the last pebble you shoe has more personality than my heart doctor. Now please note I actually researched these
questions, for a while before just putting them together so stick with me.
Billy b: Can I live a long
and healthy life?
Doctor: (says nothing for a
long time, just sort of looks at his computer.
At this point I had a load in my shorts.) Well you are at risk of a
stroke. (Again, shitting myself) We need
to get the rhythm in order, but then yes we can turn it around.
Billy b: Am I ok doing a
Paleo diet?
Doctor: I have no issue with
that, did Dr. Greene says that, (I said no), I like the paleo diet, keep going.
Billy b: Am I ok drinking
coffee?
Doctor: Coffee is fine as long
as it is one a day.Billy b: Fucking Sweet!
Billy b: What about supplements,
I starting taking vitamin and supplements the other day like a super green food
and some men’s essentials.
Doctor: No! You have no idea what is in them and they
could hurt you as much as they help.
They could be hurting you and putting you into AFIB. Unless it is a multivitamin. No!
(So I am now off the super food green and the men’s essential
vita-pack. I did start taking the green
supper food supplement one week before my BP went upside down.)
Billy b: No salt?
Doctor: No salt!
Billy b: Exercise? Can I still walk and swim? Do I need to worry?
Doctor: No we want you exercising.
Now this next one I swear to you
on every website I saw came hand in hand with exercise.
Billy b: What about sex
doc? Can I have sex?
Doc: (pauses for a really
long moment. Looks at me. Looks back at his computer. I am sure he is thinking who and the fuck would
want to sleep with you!?) Well, yes, as long as you feel up to it.Billy b: Well Doc I always fill up to it! I thought I had to ask b/c on every website I looked at it had this hand in hand with exercise.
Doc: that is because they are both extra activities and if you feel good enough, then yes, we want you doing them if you can, they are good for me.
Billy b: you want me to have sex? Can I get a prescription for that, it might help at the bars?
Doc: (a look that said what the fuck do I say to that) Exercise and sex are fine if you fill up to it.
Billy b: That is great news doc otherwise my left hand was going to ask to be amputated.
Doc: (doesn’t even look away from the computer)
Billy b: Work and stress?
Doc: Nothing to worry about
there.
Billy b: Anything else I need to
worry about?
Doc: Not really. Just need to see you in two weeks and we can
figure out next steps.
I have to be honest, I feel 1000 times better today than a week
ago. I am on my feet more. I am moving around more. I am walking more. At home I do more than just sit on the couch
and watch TV. I told the doctor that and
he said good, because that is what my latest ekg and listening to my heart told
him. That I should feel good. That made me feels better.
We are a long way from our tower.
However, we are reinvested, and more determined than ever to reach our
goals.
Matters of the Heart can be found here:
http://thebuddysystem22.blogspot.com/2014/04/matters-of-heart.html
Matter of the Heart II: A-fib can be found here:
http://thebuddysystem22.blogspot.com/2014/12/matters-of-heart-ii-fib.html
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