Happy Xmas Eve and finding the spirit or something even more?

Shake Shake Shake your butt!

“Shake shake shake, shake shake shake
Shake your booty, shake your booty
Oh, shake shake shake, shake shake shake
Shake your booty, shake your booty”

-          KC and the Sunshine Band

That is my new medicine. It is the rhythm medicine and I am won’t lie to you, ever since I picked it up, I have had the undeniable urge to shake my ass!   I won’t lie to you I can’t stop the words “Shake shake shake, shake shake shake, Shake your booty” from running through my head.  I even caught myself looking back into the mirror as I walk to the shower and my ass was in-deed shaking.  I literally danced my way into the shower.  Well, I am not sure if it was a dance, more of a shuffle, but my rump was definitely trying to find the rhythm. 
 

I am happy right now.  I can’t explain it. Perhaps, I should be pensive and concerned, but for the first time in a long time I am not.  It is Christmas Eve 2014, and I am anything but worried, stressed, or concerned.  It really started on the way home last night after a great walk, my longest in a while.  I felt good.

I got into Snow Flake and headed home knowing I had two stops to make.  First, was to get my rhythm medicine.  Second was to get me a pig for pulling.  Oh Kalua big, you sweet, sweet nectar of the old gods and the new.  I am very excited for my Hawaiian Xmas! "Mele Kalikimaka" as they say!  My drug store is kitty-corner from the Lunardi’s where I get my meat.  I would say they are a good half football, maybe a full football field away from each other.  So, two bird, one stone, and easy night, if I could get there in time and both were still open and to my luck they were.
The ass shaking really started on the ride down to the drug store.  I had Gloria Estefan ringing in my ears, and telling me the rhythm was going to get me.  I kept thinking bitch it better or we have big problems.  However, the more the song ran in my head.  The more, I drove, the more Xmas carols that came over the radio, the calmer, and calmer I got.  The more relaxed I felt.  The better I felt. 
I got to the drug store and I parked.  I did realize it at the time but I did something I used to a few years back when I had a twofer between the drug store and Lunardi’s I parked equal distance between the two.  I thought nothing of this as I walked into the store.  I just kept thinking about the rhythm, and well I think perhaps at this time I had moved onto “Conga”, no longer “Rhythm of the Night”.   

The lady who helped me at the pharmacy was a cute Asian lady, young, and sweet, unfortunately married.  However, I made her laugh out loud, long and hard.  First getting her to laugh because I told her thank god they finally made a rhythm medicine for me.  Then I said something about good drugs, and she asked me how I defined a good drug.  Then I told her about being stoned out of my mind when I was 17 during hand surgery.  We both started laughing out loud by the time I was done.  Who would have thunk it?  I was picking the first bottle of pills I would probably have to take the rest of my life because my heart was fucked up. 

As, I was walking away from the counter I smiled so big, long, and real, and I felt something in my heart Not my heart, heart.  No something in my soul, the heart that is me.  Was it peace?  Was it joy?  Was it the joy of the holidays?  I knew it was a little bit of all that.  However, I also realized that is was something that was so much more. 

As I passed the hemorrhoid creams, and laxatives, then the cokes, cookies, and cakes, I realized why I was smiling.  I had parked my car equal distance between the two stores.   I had parked my fucking car equal distance between the stores.  Which could only mean one thing, I intended, and not only intended but wanted to walk between the two stores and not drive. 

I know it doesn’t sound like a lot, but it means everything!  Don’t you see it?  I wanted to walk.  I wanted to be on my feet.  I wasn’t too tired, or in too much pain.  I wanted to do it.  I have not wanted to that in years.  Then I stopped and thought about the last few weeks. I had been doing this more and more.  Did I not do it last weekend between Weight Watchers and Trader Joes?  Perhaps, I even did it last week between Lunardi’s and the drug store. 

I am telling you when I walked out of the CVS drugstore I was beaming like a lite fucking Xmas tree.  I am dead serious.  Because guess what I realized right then and there.  Something my doctor does not know.  Something my co-workers can’t know.  Something my roommate and puppy can’t know.  Mom, Dad, Bb, Heidi, Bobby, and the Boy can’t know.  I won.  I am winning.  I am going to do this.  I am going to change my life.  No, I already have.   I am gonna beat this shit, HBP, AFIB, and obesity. 
You say 21/22 lbs. when you need to lose 200 lbs. how have you won.  I say I don’t know.  I can’t explain it.  However, I feel it in my heart and soul, and sick, twisted, beautiful mind.  I will do this!  I am doing it every day when I get up, and every night before I go to bed, and all the time I spend living in between.  All I have to do is focus on the next 54 pounds.  Because after that I can start training again, swim, bike and run bitches!  With my new diet and getting back to the exercise program from 2005-2012 think of how fucking bad ass I will be. 

I am doing this!  I got this!  It is mine!  I see it again.  Off in the distance.  I see where I am going. I see my tower peaking at me through clouds.  I see the man standing there and looking at it.  Tan, thin, muscled, with his goggles in one hand and his bike helmet in the other.  Bike and tri bag at his feet.  He is coming.  The war is wagging on and on.  And the TOWER is closer…
Happy Christmas and Merry New Year!  It’s great to be fucking alive and heading into 2015!  Stand and be true!

p.s.  Martha, Sweet Sweet Andy, Kelli, Cathryn and always and forever my first love Bria ever since that day I proposed on the school bus when we as in kindergarten thank you for your words, they mean a ton.  Of course I’ll never lose my sense of humor; I will go laughing into the grave.  I believe laughter is the most magical of all healing powers.  I love you guys!  Happy Xmas and good tiding to you!

p.s.s. I am still shaking my ass, even in my work chair.  Only know the song in my head is “Let’s Hear it for the Boy” There is something about female musicians from the 80’s that just keeps my ass shaking!  Let’s hope I don’t get into the Madonna or Paula Abdul next!