Ever since the fucking storm a week ago my blood pressure has been running high. A month ago when I had it checked it was 144/90, not great, but good enough, and I was just starting to get my butt into gear! And on 10/13/2014 it was 140/82 and I will take that! I have been eating good and per plan over the last 32 days. I have lost at least 12 lbs. I am wearing a pair of pants that I put on around the start of November and they were very snug, and today they fit damn near as perfect as a pair of pants can fit on a big belly, no ass having man. Contrary to popular believe, I don't have a fat ass, I have hug love handles, thank you. I have never had an ass, and thus have always had an issue with pants staying up.
Anyway... last Thursday night I felt like aflutter in my chest then up my chest, and up my throat. It was weird. I can't explain as anything other than a feeling. Almost like acid pushing up. However it went away. Then it came back Friday afternoon and then went away again. Saturday was fine, no flutter that I recall. Sunday it came back throughout the day. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday were all the same, fine all day, eat lunch then later in the afternoon, I get bone weary tired, and there is a little flutter/pressure in my chest and running up to my throat.
Anytime I try to explain this to someone, like I did my PT last night, they freak out and I know why. Look at me. I am 450 pounds. I get winded after walking twenty minutes. I work a high stress job. So people automatically think it is the big one, which his normally what I am thinking too. I have been dying from the same heart attack since 1994.
My PT took my BP last night on her cuff that is way to small for my arm, and it was like 190 over 100 and as soon as she said that my heart and head went racing. I was instantly induced into stress mode and damn near panic. She keep telling me it wasn't an emergency but I should go see my cardiologist immediately. When I got home and took my BP on my new Omron wrist model that I bought on the way home from the PT, and my old BP cuff, my BP seemed to be ok even with the flutters coming in and out of my chest area. The top number was still over 180 but the bottom was in the 80's and that at least makes me feel like I am not a walking stroke waiting to happen. Especially, since my BP runs high on my monitor at home. So an 89 on mine is usually an 84 on the docs.
The whole situation has induced panic mode in me though and that pisses me off. I took my BP 5 times last night alone. This morning prior to 8 a.m. three times and more concerning is each time, the diastolic, from what I understand the stroke one, was in the low 90's. actually that wasn't true the last measurement on my new wrist module here in the office was 143/85... The other times when in the 90's I had been up and about prior to taking, but the last one I have been sitting down for about 10 minutes.
I am not gonna lie I am under a lot of stress. My team has a target to meet and hopefully exceed and it is all on the edge of a knife with time running out b/c 12/31 at midnight looms before us. We can be easily be heroes but just as easily be goats.
Now I know what you are thinking Billy b just go to the doctor and let him tell you everything is all right. That sounds really good too. However, do you have any idea how humiliating it is to have you doctor sit there and smile at you sympathetically. Because he knows as well as you know you are a hypochondriac and that this would be the 4th time I went to see him with chest pain this year alone. Each time, it being nothing. Same with the cardiologist. He basically said other than being fat and high BP there was nothing wrong with me, but if I wanted he could do a nuclear test on me. Which I guess means he would fill me up with some radioactive stuff to really see if my heart was hiding stuff b/c he couldn't find anything. The EKG's are always fine. My pulse is fine. My chest and heart sound as good as it can for 39 an 450 lbs. At what point do I realize I am the boy crying wolf here?
I honestly am not sure what to do, other than keep on keeping on. Check my BP over the next week and if I keep getting consistent readings in the 90's on the bottom number go in and see the doc. While at the same time stick to one cup of joe a day, 4 liters of water, and cut back the salt I add to my food, even though I use the good stuff, I just need to be careful and limit the use. Also, I am not gonna go double beef meals again. That is to much cow and is hard on the digestive track. Has to be one pork, and either beef, turkey, or chicken boob. I am sitting here right now fine, with a little acid.
It is hard balancing the hypochondriac in me and the person who has high BP.
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