WFH, Dentist, and what's next

I forgot how much I love to work from home.  Not because, I don't have to see or talk to anyone.  I actually miss the noise here in my house, and the hustle and bussel of the office.  Its not becasue of the drive.  I don't mind the drive, it is either done with a good book or long Palaver, so that isn't the issue either.  It is the simple face you can wait until the last possible minute to get out of bed, you can just roll out and walk over to the lap top and boot up in your sweat pants and t-shirt.   Life just always seem simplier in better in sweats and a t-shirt.  its nice and quiet at home Rachel is in Fresno for work until tomorrow evening and its just me and puppy....  she sleeps a lot.  I am jealous, I have work to do so i can't lay around all day and do nothing.

Ihave to go to the dentist today.  I really love nothing less than going to the dentist.  I have been cursed from birth with bad teeth.  Apparently mom carol was sick when I was born or pregnant with me, and enamel on my teeth.  So when I was a baby I had not teeth, I couldn't get a job because I couldn't eat meat.  tell me the movie that is from without looking it up and I will give you 50 bucks.  no really as a kid I had soft teeth.  So they had to put silver caps on them.  I looked like fucking dr. teeth from the muppets.  Can you picture that?  is said can you picture that.   what movie was that from. its a give me. anyway, as an adult i have had every tooth issue imaginable and then some.  oh the joy.... so who knows what adventure today beholds for me.  I am sure there will be bleeding there is always bleeding, I will get yelled at for not flossing enough, I always get yelled at for not flossing enough.  

My god, this blog sucks...my heart just isn't in it right now.  I have no idea where my heart and mind are right now.  I am trying to be postive.  I am trying to wake up and be awesome.  these things take time.  i just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I have only had one binge over the last two weeks, so that is good.  i usually eat one salad a day over the same time.  that is good.  i am really looking long and hard at what is next.  I am not sure. last night I was struck with the thought of packing it all up and going.  going where I can't say, just going.  load up in the volt and just get gone.  i think that is all just part of a crisis of faith.  however, I also think it is the symbol of someone who is at drift.  Someone who isn't sure what they want.  Am I that person?  Am I at drift?  Is it not clear what I want out of life, what my definite major purpose is?  To live a healthy, happy life, and inspire others to do the same.  To inspire others to realize it is ok to be who they are, and live the lives that they want to live thru my gift for words, inspiration, and talks.  Am I really at drift if this is truly what i want out of life.  am I not take small steps to be the Billy b I want to be, that we all want me to be?

A billy b that is:

-          Published

-          Creative

-          Lives in a nice place in SJ (nailed this one), alone, and keeps house orderly

-          Financially secure, manages money, and pays credit cards on time

-          Good credit

-          Happy

-          Excited

-          Well liked

-          36 size waist (honestly, I think this is good, I have been over 40 for so long I don't know)

-          Able to shop at all clothing stores

-          Ironman athlete

-          Nice body

-          Makes good eating choices

-          Good hair (even better than it is today)

-          Take lots of vacations and sees the world again

-          Place at the beach

 

-      Fits in a single airplane seat

      -      Can run with nieces and nephews

 

-          Motivated

-          Positive mental attitude

-          Enjoys live

-          Energy addict, gives off good positive energy, you want to be around me b/c I give off goods vibs

-          Loves his work

-          Inspires other

 So, we now know what is next.... lets get there.