At this point in you should have realized that I have a
pretty fucked up believe system. Read
this blog and you will know that. I am
going rattle off some stuff right now that might be common knowledge. It might be shit I have picked up over the
years from books and TV shows. Perhaps
some I learned in school. Perhaps it was
just growing up with dogs through-out my childhood. Maybe it is from dog sitting. I can’t really say. What I can say for sure is I live with a dog
now (I am going to take the high road here and not even say something childish
and then there is Shiner too. Imaginary
drum please and yes I realized I went there).
As much as I am disappointed some of my sweatshirts are covered with
blonde dog hair, I am pretty happy having the pooch around. She is good for me, and I am good for
her. We are buddies and she has become
my walking partner. We stroll and yes I
do mean stroll or as Sara would have said saunter.
Let me tell you a couple of things first. First is Billy b’s theory on Reapers. First and foremost there is the Black
Reaper. If you read b, then you have heard
of the Black Reaper. The cartoon character
which I have adopted as my symbol of duality. Actually he is more a symbol of the union between
my two natures, the believer and the non-believer that lives in side of me and
the reconciliation of the believer inside. Reaper Unit and more formerly known
as Reaper Unit 9 is a compilation of nine super soldiers who are unleashed to
bring justice to the known and unknown universes. Reaper Unit is also the name of the Tri Club
I will be forming in the next two years once I am able to do all three at
once. My team will focus on the non-traditional
Tri athlete like myself. No snobby jocks
here. Just good people who want to swim,
bike, and run together. Probably drink
some booze, and live to get radical.
Finally, the other reaper we know of is the one that is Grim. I don’t really refer to him as a reaper,
because technically he isn’t a reaper at all, rather he is Death itself. Death is bad, necessary I think to pass on,
but bad none the less. However the Grim
Reaper or Death has several lower level reapers in his employment and said
reapers don’t bring death, no they collect the soul upon death and help you transition
to other side. Just because these mother fuckers are old and pasty looking doesn’t’
mean they are bad, they are just old and look bad, and well they are taking your
soul form this world to the next. So, I
mean I get why we are scared of them. I
will call these reapers hence forth Grim Reapers, but in no way shape or form
are they to be confused with the Black Reapers, or the Reaper Unit. Now, that you are totally confused, let me go
into.
Billy b’s theory on Dogs.
They see shit we can’t see. They
here shit we can’t hear. They smell shit
we can’t smell. There are several planes
of existence. I believe that. Just like I believe the universe is infinite
and in an infinite universe we can’t actually be the only intelligent beings. Also, I believe that there are an infinite
number of universes that sit next to each other. Now I won’t go are far as to say that each decision
we make creates a new universe, be pretty fucking mind blowing if it did though,
but many universes sitting next to each other, I do believe in. I am not sure if dogs see into these other
universe or not. I do know they see lots
though. If Lost Boys taught us that dogs
can sense vampires, Heart Shaped Box by Joe Hill taught us they can see ghosts,
and Supernatural taught us they can sense demons, and pretty much anything else
that is going bump in the night, and then isn’t likely that they can’t see into
the next verse or beyond? I honestly believe they see shades, what those shades
are I can’t say. I probably don’t want
to know. I know it or they are out
there. You know all the things that make
us afraid of the dark. I also think dogs
can sense them. Along the same lines they
say wolves smell fear, dogs are in the same family, so can’t they sense it? Dogs can sense the true nature of
people. They can see past our vesicles and
into our souls. My theory on dogs is
simple, they are of our world, they live in our world but they see and sense
into others.
Now being a fan of the supernatural, I know where my various
beliefs come from. I listed a lot of the
obvious ones above. I have long stated that
I am student of King. I am not sure if I
have truly conveyed to you how powerful my imagination is. How it takes off on its own. The brain is a powerful tool. So when my creative center gets going who
knows what can happen. I don’t joke when
I say I have seen worlds. I have spent
probably half of my life in one fantasy or another, one world or another. My feet are literally off the ground at times. The amazing thing is am never really truly
bored. I can’t be. I can’t be because I
can take myself there and back again. I
make shit up. My mind works in perpetual
over drive. I can’t help it. My mind really has a mind of its own.
So, what does it all mean?
It means the mind can play tricks on you. Long story short is that the mind can play
tricks on you, when you have an imagination and belief system like mine. Well even when you don’t but you get the point,
don’t you?
Last night after
once again battling Rachel over what I should and should not be eating for
dinner. It wasn’t really a battle. I made suggestions, they were shot down, and
we went to subway. I actually ended up
being really satisfied with the mean. A
foot long without chips,
cookie, and coke was more than enough for me to be full. The three of us were sitting on the couch and
I was ass tired. We had watched our
episode of Gus and I just wanted to go to bed.
However, I knew I needed to take Puppy for a walk. Plus she does that look and starts tilting
the head each way, and it she is just so damned cute how can you say no to
her. Plus her evil mother (Rachel) took
Gumby away from her, mainly because she was going to choke to death on chewing
Gumby down to nothing, so in hind sight it was probably good that Gumbers got
hidden. Shiner likes Gumbers but not as
much as Kermie and we frankly; I miss the little green bastard too. What happened to that from was a tragedy of
epic proportions. I even felt a little
bad when we had pulled Miss Piggy at the funeral. It just happens. Anyway
so we were going to walk and so we did.
The walk goes like this on most nights. We go out front and Shiner makes good pee pee
and poo poo and then we spend the rest of walk talking about how bad her poop
smells. What can I say I hate dog
poop. Really the walk goes with us
making three loops around the court yard out the front of the house. Then we walk through the parking lot
Lyonsville, we walk to the end of Lyonsville to Waltrip and we stop at the
cross and sit down (She does, if I did I would never get up) to make sure no
cars are coming, and then we cross. Take
Waltrip to Blossom Hill hard right at the old folk’s home. We walk by the vet, the taco bell, and Kooser,
I let her go pretty free on this part of the walk. We are alone and it is all good. She sniffs here and there but for the most part
we walk, sometimes she stops for an extra sniff and I have to tug on the leash
and she comes running. We take another
right on Seifert till we cross Lyonsville and turn right for home. If we are lucky Rachel is home and we ask her
to open the garage door for us, b/c we always lock the house when we are home
alone and it is dark out front and getting the key in the door is a problem and
so it is just easier. The 8 or so nights
we have walked that’s been our 20 to 25 minute routine.
Last night was different. Last night was well. You pick one of the following ridiculous,
weird, creepy, or par for the
course. Here we go.
When I am tired, when I am really, really tired my mind
kicks into overdrive and obsessions become stronger, and the imagination goes
crazy. I know this, I have lived this
way for 38 years. So we walk out the
front and don’t lock the door because Rachel is home and she is like no one
will get me. The truth if someone took
her they would bring her right back after spending five minutes with her. A-hahaha.
That is funny shit. I really am
an asshole. So, we left it
unlocked.
Shiner went to the court out front and made pee pee and poo
poo because that is what Shiner does. I
picked up the poo, I cussed her for it and I asked do you want to go inside or
go for a walk? She started toward the
door but I pulled her a bit and she gladly started down the path. We turned left onto Lyonsville and she was
actually being a very good puppy.
Walking at my heel, and taking really good direction. Then we crossed the third drive way on
Lyonsville, I can’t remember the name, the last entrance to my townhouses and
she stopped and she started sniffing. It
was one of those where I had to tug and tug to get her going again. As we passed the house on the corner, she
kept doing this. Kept stopping, kept
sniffing, kept sniffing and stopping and I had to pull her to start her going
again and I mean really, really pull her.
We crossed Lyonsville and headed to Blossom on Waltrip. As soon as we crossed she ran into the grass
and got as far from me as she could and turn around facing Lyonsville and
stared. I looked back and saw
nothing. I tried to start her and she
won’t come. I give a big strong yank and
we get moving. Part of me is like let
her explore and part of me is like this walk is to get us both moving we got to
move. We go give more steps down Waltrip
and the damn dog stops and stares again across Lyonville. I turn, and I see nothing. Now she isn’t barking, or whining or anything
like that, she is just staring. I tug and we take three more steps and she is
turned around again looking at Lyonsville.
I pull and even sit her down and ask just what in the fuck is going on here
missy, we need to be moving there is nothing there we got to move. Six, seven, eight steps we are getting into a
rhythm, she turns and stares into the night.
I think it is at this point my mind starts working. My imagination kicks in. I start thinking about what she could be
seeing. I don’t think about all those
things I listed above, I don’t have too, I know they are all there. I know my hair-brain theory on Dogs. However, I can’t help but starting asking
myself, is seeing a Grim Reaper? I mean
we are heading toward the old folks home.
I am sure Grim Reapers walk from place to place, they certainly can’t
drive. That would be ridiculous. Now sure Death himself drives, he drives a
white 1959 Cadillac Series 62 coupe with the license plate "BUH*BYE". But most Grim Reapers are walking form place
to place. So now here I am standing next
to an old folk’s home wondering if the puppy is seeing a grim reaper. At this point, I just want to turn and run
home. I am not going to lie I am not
ready to die. So, I am like fuck. Not ready to die, got to keep on moving.
We turn the corner onto Blossom hill. As soon as we turn puppy stops and stares
back towards Lyonsville. I am like you
have to be fist fucking me, is the thing following up. So I am like come on dog lets go. So we walk.
She stops and turns around and stares now at Waltrip. Shit it is following me. That mother fucker is going to come up from
behind and get me. Worse thought at this
point what if it isn’t a Grim Reaper but an evil sprite. You know some hard pipe hitting spirit who
has a chainsaw and blow torch and is going to get mid-evil on my ass. I pull the dog along. Four steps at the most and she is turned
around again and just staring at the road.
Now I know. I know for sure a
wraith is after or a shade and they are going to torment me and eat my brain
and I am so crazy that they will feast for years so I will be kept in some
isolated state between worlds, not alive nor dead. Just living a perpetual nightmare that will
never end, I can see it now a life time worth of VSOE analysis that land just
outside the bell curve, or a RESP that makes me do manual account, or even
worse sitting there in some meeting with the CEO having to pee really bad not
being able to go. I pull the dog along
and three steps later she turn and stares into the never. I so wish I had just gone back inside, because
something was going to get me Grim Reaper, shade, wraith, goblin, you name it because
it was coming for me.
We passed the vet, and then the taco bell and she stopped
turning around. We got into Taco Bells
yard and she ran around and sniffed and was wagging the tail and we
walked. Walked and walked and walked all
the way to Seifert without a single turn around. We turn right and we are about half way down
the street when a cop car pulls buy and spotlights us. I froze.
I was like what the fuck. The cop
kept going but continued to spot light here and there. They were looking for something or
someone. What if the dog had sensed the
person or thing they were looking for?
What if he had been hiding in the bushes as we walked by and the dog was
trying to warn me. Fuck the Grim Reaper,
what if there was a real mother fucker who wanted to go toe to toe with
me. Don’t get me wrong I am hulk strong
but my fight days are behind me. We
start walking and I start thinking what if there really is some loony hiding
here or there. What if there is some
creeper who the cops were called on.
What if he got into my house because the front door is locked and Rachel
wouldn’t think anything if she heard the gate open she would just think it was
me and puppy. That mother fucker could
be holding my roommate as a hostage. My
first thought was who the fuck is going to make my PBJ tomorrow if some gets
her. What if so gets in and me and the dog
could have prevented it?
I tell myself that my imagination is going into over drive. All the Stephen King, Supernatural, Luther,
and X-files have put me into a perpetual state of paranoia. That I am being ridiculous, however, if that
was the case why is there a cop car? Why
is he spot lighting? He obviously wasn’t’
looking for a fat man and a puppy so what was he looking for?
Ok, I will be honest here, I was in a dilemma because I know
how strong my imagination is, but I also know how strong my feeling of guilt
is. I also know Rachel gets easily freaked
out like I do. I remember when I let her
read a book I bought shutter island she slept with the lights on the rest of
trip to Tahoe. Do I alert her? Do I not?
I let my fear win out and as I crossed Lyonsville to get
back on Lyonsville, I text her. I was like Hey.
No answer. I texted her
again. Hey. No answer, I looked at puppy and she looked
at me and I was like double time. I am a
fat man. I am walking the dog in flip
flops. I am hobbling down the street
thinking a bad person got my roommate with a dog who thinks we are just playing. I text
again. Nothing. I text again.
Nothing. I am thinking the worst,
I push shiner behind me and I get to the house and I push the door open and I wheezing
like an old goat and…
She is sitting on the couch working. No one else is around.
“Don’t you know how to pick up your fucking phone?” I
said. I was pissed. I realized at that point I was actually
really freaked out.
She looked at me. The
dog looked at me. I looked at both of them. I started laughing and said “fucking dog and
ghost stories.”
I tried to explain to Rachel what had happened she just
looked at me like I was crazy. Well I
am. What can I say other than “Fucking
Dog!” I am going home now to walk her,
wonder what adventure we will get up to tonight!
On a more serious note: HFC Daily Affirmation -
I treat myself as a precious non-negotiable priority.
I actually feel pretty good. I like walking the dog. I am eating better, and I am moving on. I have to.
The only thing in this world I have any control over is me. So that is what my responsibility is, is to
take care of me. So I will. Change is not coming it is here. I wrote a letter today, it is saved on my
desk top. I am ready to print and sign
it. Just writing it was empowering. I am ready for change. Change like the wind. It’s about me now. Sorry to others who can’t accept that fact. I am going to my tower. As of this point I am a precious non-negotiable
priority. If you see me posting positive
shit all over face book it is because I am trying to think like that. Change.
Life moves on. WE move on. Change!
Its good. The Tower is closer.
RISE WITH ME!
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