Dear reader,
I know what you are thinking. How can this man go and swim 1,800 Meters
last night and be proud of it, only to WIND up in a drive-thru. The truth is I did wind up in a drive thru
last night after my swim. Yes, I
did. However, it was Taco Bell’s and not
M’s. Also, I ate from the script last
night. I pulled out my trusty eat this
not that manual and I ordered from it and ate under 500 calories for dinner
after a big ass swim. That in and of
itself it impressive and most importantly I was satisfied with my two tacos and
Pintos and Cheese. My tummy today is
saying Pintos and Cheese really William Bryan?
Really? However, I can deal with
that. I am happy with this move for two
reasons: 1) I went through a drive and made the right choices from a caloric
standpoint, and 2) I actually thought long and hard about what to order. I didn’t get scared and over order. I did what I set out to do. I ordered from my “eat this not that book”. Look, I know what you are thinking how is
this dude happy he went to taco bell? Why
is that a win? Further what the hell
does this have to do with McDonalds?
First, I am happy because at the other end of this weight
loss comes down to one thing and one thing only eat less and move more. Yes, there is emotional shit that goes with
that. It is not always that simple. For example take me a fatty that eats
emotionally and when it comes to food he is more like a drunk or a drug addict
than a normal person. He associates
happiness, sadness, love, hate, and loneliness with food. Well not happiness, no, we associate
happiness with something else now, but that is a tale for another
spinning. Anyway, we have talked about
my issues with food, but as the wise sage ole Long, Tall, and Ugly told me it’s
a numbers game. I am good with numbers
(Spreadsheets at least) and it is. Look
dealing with an addiction/disorder whatever is one thing but in the end, weight
loss in and of itself is simple choices, and eat less calories and burn
more. So the Kid having a dinner less
than 500 calories is good. Let us
compare to some other meals we have had over the last few months:
-
Trip to McDonalds: 3,700 (1 DQPC, 2 Double Cheese, 3 Large Fries,
6 Sweet and Sour Sauces, and a large coke)
-
Trip to Bagel Shop: 1,340 (2 sesame seed bagel’s
with bacon, egg, and cheese)
-
Trip from Pizza My Heart: approximately: 3,000 –
6,000 depending on if I eat the entire large pizza or note, and go help us all
if I ordered bread sticks too.
The point my fine feathered friends’ is simply… Choices…
better choices are fewer calories… Fewer calories are good. Look over the next few months we will work on
more veggies, fruits, and good quality foods.
I am just trying to survive right now and I am making better choices!
Second, we are coming to McDonald’s part of this. I over slept this morning. I think the swimming is kicking my ass. Well, I know it is. My arms are freaking killing me. During my reps of the breaststroke last
night, I was in pain, but I pushed on. My neck is sore; it hurts to turn my head to
the left. My left shoulder is sore front
and back and I am going to do another 2,200 tonight. That’s right baby… b to swim another 2,200
tonight. Because I am awesome and
because I love to swim and well what else does a single guy have to do on a Thursday
night when he is trying to recover from food issues? The swim is my rock. It is my sanity. Plus, I am going to crush the 52,000 Meter mark;
I have decided it must be destroyed by end of November. You do realize tonight swim will put me under
20,000 Meters left to go? With twin
2,500 looming this weekend we are looking at next Monday having only about
14,000 more to go. That could be eradicated
easily over the next two weeks. Then we
take December off? No, no, no, we swim
farther in December than we did in November and come 12/31/2013 (the Princess
of Diamonds birthday, love you Best Friend) I will got into 2014 feeling great
about myself, something that has not happened in years!
Anyway, we have gone off track. Overslept that is what we did this a.m. Yes, yes.
Over the last three weeks I have a history of over sleeping. One week, the week of 3 days in San Jose, we
never made it into the office before 10.
So on these days, somehow, I convinced myself that it would be a great
idea to go to the bagel shop on the way to the office, have them serve my usual
2 sesame seed bagel’s with bacon, egg, and cheese and get two cups of joseph
(that’s right Ames, I went there) and head up to the office, because after all
I can’t leave for lunch again b/c I go in to late. So lets the equivalent of two meals on the
way to the office call it a big breakfast, log our 30 WW points and be done
with it. Not each lunch, have some
snacks in afternoon, and we promise on these days we never would go to
McDonalds on the way home. Btw, 90% of
these days, ended up ending the day at M’s.
So what I am saying is we would start with 1300 cals and end with 3700
cals. Really who hasn’t lost weight on a
5,000 calorie a day diet and that is assuming I ate no lunch, which happened
less than 2%of the time. Let’s just call
a spade a spade and say, ya on these days I ended up eating about 7,000
calories a day. Yes, that is pretty
amazing, if I wanted to be the world’s fattest man that is, and well, I don’t.
So, when I got up this a.m. late and I promise I did sleep
through my alarm as I was showering I started to think about breakfast. I was telling myself, that, hey, you can’t
get out for lunch today, so you need the big breakfast and that it would be
ok. It would all be ok, because I swam
last night. I was going to pack to swim
today. So it makes sense that I go get
those calories. That I go eat those
bagel sandwiches.
You know it is funny, I have this inner voice, well we all
do, but I have like twelve, however, the one who always talks to me about food
calls me Will. Isn’t that weird? He is also has a British accent and sort of
sounds like Minge from the South Park Episode “A Million Little Fibers”. Wow, I am really am fucked up. “Come on Wheelllll,
its ok, Wheelllll, let’s do it”. I hate this fucking voice.
Anyway, I tried to rationalize with this voice. No, no.
We can only go there (to the bagel shop) if we get one. Or better yet, get two and have them switch
the bacon for ham, b/c that would be better.
One or ham. “Come
on Wheelllll, yes let’s do that Wheelllll”. Then that voice laughed. It laughed b/c it knew the 2nd we walked
in there they would start making my two sandwiches and there was about as much
chance of me stopping them from making them as well, ya, I got nothing to
compare it too.. Rose Ann Barr winning Miss America feels forced. The Cubs winning the World Series is too
painful. So, ya, I got nothing other than
to say it wasn’t going to happen. So, I
am like, what can I do. I want to eat
breakfast a good breakfast and I want to grab it quick, if I eat lunch it will
be late. I got this goddamned voice in my head telling me to go get my bagels sandwiches. What can the kid do?
I can go to McDonalds!
That is Right. I can go to the
drive thru at McDonalds. If I am not
going to cook and I was already an hour late for work, I could go to McDonalds
and eat healthier than the bagel shop?
WHHHHATTTT? Yes. I quote what is rapidly becoming my bible the
“Eat This, Not That” book. On the
McDonalds page, which I realize now, I am spelling wrong but whatever, this is
my blog not English lit so eat me. Under
Survival Strategy: At breakfast, look no further than the Egg McMuffin – it remains
one of the best ways to start your day in the fast food world. Of course as soon as I thought this I had an
Ice Cube Boyz in the Hood Flash back "when u gon let me knock the
stuffin out that egg mcmuffin” Can’t help it, I will never forget that
line.
The Will or “Wheelllll”
voice was like no, no no. You don’t like
the Egg McMuffin. Plus, you don’t want
to go to M’s. No. However, sometimes you have to tell your inner
voice, to shut the hell up. Especially,
when that inner voice has been targeted for open war, and will not survive this
war. You hear that voice, you’re going
down! No one calls me Will except my
sweet sister Rosie! Anyway… I found
myself back in the drive thru at M’s this morning. However, I was a different man in that drive
through. I didn’t even look at the menu,
I didn’t have too. I just order what I
was there to get. An Egg McMuffin baby,
oh ya, and a coffee and diet coke, but isn’t that really just a given. I traded 1,340 calories for 300. I ate it and I was satisfied. It actually
tasted really good. Plus, the egg McMuffin
doesn’t have sesame seeds. So car, doesn’t
have shit all over it. Double bonus,
however, but I need lunch today. That is
ok. I have a friend hitting the subway
for me. I am lucky; people want to help
me out. I do have a great group of peeps
round me. Thanks to those people or
being awesome! We are making progress
people. I will got back to WW this
weekend and get back on the scale. I
have been scared to do that and have not done it since the binge a few weeks
ago.
I can honestly say that I feel good right now. I feel like I am making things happen. Maybe, I am fooling myself. Maybe not, but I don’t think I am. After all Life is choice. I make choices. I am making better ones. I choose Life!
Today is a good day.
Good things deserve to happen to me.
As of today I take care of myself.
I am worth it.
I can do this.
As of today I take care of myself.
And…. The Tower is closer
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