Page 68

 

 

Book of 2016

-Page 68-

I think I told you that some friends from work and I talked about weight during the club trip this year.  We came up with a little challenge and today, I double down on it and made it official, time to start.  I realize that having a challenge isn't really needed, and probably isn't necessary but it is always good to know those you spend a lot of time with have your back and understand what you are going through. End of the day this isn't about any trips to vegas or anything else, but getting my life back on track.  That is what this has always been about.  So below is the note I shared with them today.  Probably a little more detail that I needed to go into.  However, sometimes you just have to say what you feel and believe me the feed back I got made me tear up.  Nothing has changed, work the mind, get me positive.  Then the body will follow.  So, I have to keep on keeping on!  

---------------------------------------------

Friends:

 

I am not sure who else Jamie or Dave included in our little wager after the awards banquet at club, before Dave started cross dressing that is, but i do know there were a few more.  The goal is for me to lose 100 pounds by end of year, and Sundev says 85 pounds by September 30.  I also seem to remember that there was some sort of awards for meeting these thresholds.  I distinctly remember the words Vegas, Weekend  and was it Asian?  

I am cc'ing Chrissy here because hence forth she will be the keeper of the chronicles or basically the weigh in master.  Also, I have already shared with her my weight as of 2/27/2016 which was the stake in the ground measurement.  I am very embarrassed by my current weight. It is the highest, it has ever been. I would rather not share the total at this time.  If all parties agree to that and are OK with Chrissy being the keeper of said chronicle.  Perhaps when I put this weight in my rear view mirror over the next few weeks, I will feel differently about it.  Although, I am sure it would not shock most of you.  

I agreed to the challenge not b/c hanging with you guys in Vegas sounds amazing, because it does.  However, b/c I have to get my life back on track.  When I was doing deal desk only I was taking care of myself and lost 50 lbs, I have stumble since then, and I could make a lot of excuses: Stress, Dad's health, Christman losing the #1 sales rep mantel, or something of the like, but the truth is I didn't execute.  When it got hard, I did not step up.  So, I just need to find my groove again.  

I honestly believe the biggest obstacle about my weight is not the food, or the exercise.  I love to exercise I have 9 half marathons and like 12 tri's that to support that or do I have 9 tri's, oh, you get the point.  I honestly think my biggest issue is how I feel about myself.  I have worked very hard over the last two months to get positive and only focus on working on my self esteem and I think I have come a long way.  The other big item is the commute.  It is killing me. I am working on that too.  I am confident that as I get happier, I will work harder to take care of myself, and as I commute less, I will have less time alone in my car to talk myself into that one last stop at In and Out.  also, not getting home at 7, 8, or 9 will make it less likely for me to use having to do the dishes as an excuse not to cook when I get home.  Finally, I am trying to access what do I really need to cut out of my diet, which I hate the word diet.  My issue is when I go hard core on restrictions, is that once the sanctions are over, I seem to go just as hard core the other way.  So, I want to find balance in what I put in my body to fuel.  I have also started to attend weight watchers meetings every Saturday morning and am strongly considering going to Overeaters anonymous.  I know I have a shitty relationship with food, my body, and my head.  If it was easy to lose weight, I would have done it already.  I have only been on diets, I hate that word, since I was 12 years old.  

Anyway, with the right positive encouragement.  The right goals set.  The right attitude in mind.  I can make some major changes and have the life I want and deserve.  Which will to a weekend in Vegas with my boys!  I can't tell you how much it meant to me that you guys brought this up at club.  I mean that, I was very touched.  

Please send this to anyone we chatted with that I have left off here.  

So our goal is to get to the first picture attached by year end:

- and then I can get back to here...