He is staring into her smiling pale blue eyes and she pulls her
wavy her shoulder length hair behind her head into a gold brown pony tail. It makes him giggle a little bit looking at
her on this beach. If his former co-workers
could see him know, with the women he loves.
She is the exact replicant of what he always said he wanted. She has blonde hair, blue eyes, and an ass
that tastes like French vanilla ice cream, isn’t’ that what Christian Slater
had said in True Romance? He had always
had a soft spot for blondes, and she was not an exception.
He squatted down almost touching the sand. He reached out and grabbed her left ankle and
pulled towards him. He spent a moment
admiring her red tattoo of the dot-m logo.
That tattoo that so few people actually earned. His legs were free of this symbol. That would come to an end, his race was
coming, and his tower was closer.
Feeling her leg he looked up at her and met those pale
eyes. She read the question in his
before he ever asked. Yes, she had
shaved her legs before coming to the beach at 5 a.m. He didn’t even shower before doing a race,
and she had showered and primped beforehand. He just laughed. They were such different creatures.
He felt her ankle and calf for a moment. He did love her legs. They were perfect. The best pair of legs he had ever seen. Those legs were the perfect blend between firm
and smooth. If they wanted a model to Aphrodite’s
leg after mire mortal, then they would use her legs. From toe to hip, the only blemishes on them
where the dessert rose tattoo on her right hip and the ironman (Dot-M) tattoo
on the left ankle. Soft and smooth to
the touch, and tanned a perfect golden brown.
He strapped the timing chip firmly around her left ankle and then stood
up.
She would be pulling her shorty wet suite up over her six-pack and
C cups at any time. He was always so
impressed by her body. He knew that
being a triathlon coach and a nutritionist played a large role in her magical
body. It also was militant dedication and
being active and healthy which drove her to try to look as perfect as she
could. He would have to go soon. Soon she would be chasing number six.
He pulled her close to him and hugged her tightly. He loved this woman with all of his
heart. It had been hard for him to trust
at first, he been hurt before. He had
tried to push here away but she wouldn’t go.
She was written into his KA for whatever reason. He would worry about her every minute she was
out on the course. This was the third one
they had done with him supporting her.
He pulled back and looked into her eyes and wondered how he had
gotten so lucky. How on earth was there
a woman this perfect for him? Her looks
weren’t what made her beautiful. They
were amazing, but she was the most giving women he had ever met. She was funny and she could be keep up with his
smartassery. Most of all she liked
him. She liked, no that is not right,
loved his stories. All of his stories even
the dark ones that were heart tearing and torching. It also didn’t hurt that at heart she was a
fucking nerd. She loved the big four:
Dark Tower Series, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, and Song of Ice and Fire. She may be more into those things than he
was. They spoke of holy mythologies at
length and how they impacted his mythos.
She approved of his truck driver mouth. She said fuck almost as much as he did. It did not matter whether it was day to day
operations or being intimate. The word
was really never far from their tongues.
He really liked that. He didn’t
have to ever feel bad about using the full English language.
She was everything he had always wanted. She was healthy. She was a triathlete. She was smart. She was funny. She had a dirty mouth. She was pretty. She was tone.
She has a dirty mind that matched his.
She love sci-fi. She loved fiction. She loved to sleep in. She loved to talk late into the night. She was everything he ever wanted.
She is Arlene Piper and doesn’t exist. She is a figment of my imagination. She was born from Laura Carr the 1986 Playmate
who used to date RATT’s lead guitarist and everything I have ever wanted in a
woman. She is built of the things on a
checklist to find the perfect women to spend my life with.
I take you through this journey to say a few things. First the list of above I have to let go of
because it I think it is putting tunnel vision on. Second, if those are the expectations for one
part of my ideal life, what do you think the other expectation of the perfect
life would be? Pretty unachievable,
right, so say “Si” and some say “No”.
I am not saying not to dream big. I would never say such a thing. I don’t believe there is a limit to be put on
your dreams other than the universe itself being the only limiting factor. What I am saying is we have to stop going through
life with such lofty expectations.
I can’t basically feel like I don’t have a good life because I am
not a perfect person, with my perfect women.
I have wasted too much time haven’t I?
I said it a few weeks ago in Sugar and Cyanide 1, I am really sick of complaining
about what is a beautiful life. I look
at yesterday’s entry and I have so much love around me, why would I not want to
live this life? I have so many good
friends that love and support me. Then I
have the little ones, whom I hold so dear.
I have a good job. I am very
talented writer. Even more so when I don’t
do a rush job and take my time to do really good work.
Am I still really fat?
Yes I am. Am I working on it from
my mind, to my heart, and from my heart to my soul. Mostly am re-inventing all of me. Not just one part, but all parts because all
parts must be considered. So let’s go
back to the question am I still really fat, and the answer yes I am. Even with that being said, am I better than I
was a year ago. Am I better now that I
have the Buddy System? Yes, yes I
am. To I still fall down. Do I still get depressed, yes, I do, but I recover
faster. I have good days, I have bad days,
but each new day I believe will be my best day.
So, I say we have to let go of unreal expectations. Focus on where we are right now and enjoy our
life today. All we can ever do is live
in the current moment. So every day I am
getting just a little bit better than before.
So I am embracing the life I have
now. Realizing the love in my life and
not putting any blinders on to keep me from going where I want to go. 
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