The third time is a charm? Not this time!

The third time is a charm?  Not this time!

The first time I remember getting shit on by a bird was in December 2008.  I was at a rehearsal dinner and I was walking through a very nice hotel minding my own business.  I was over dressed for the occasion a problem I have rarely had since.  As I am walking through the out door seating at the restaurant to our table I looked wdown to give myself a once over and I'll be god damned if I didn't have a bird shirt down the left side of my chest.  I was mortified.  See I always have an extra stigma about how I look being the fat one in the group, and now I was the fat one with Bird shit all over me.  It didn't easily clean up either.  So I arrived at the dinner with a huge stain on my shirt.   My friends said it was not a big deal and it was suppose to be good luck, but I felt violated not lucky.  Good thing for me after a few seconds at dinner I was wearing food so I quickly forgot about the poo.  There was no good luck for me that time but the wedding went off without a hitch and the family appears to be doing good, so maybe they got it :)

The second time I got shit on by a bird I was on a bike ride.  I was with El Beav and Jazz Hands Greathouse and we were out near old almaden road and we stopped for a drink and a rest and as El Beav and Jazz Hands stood there looking at her tire, the both were shocked when they heard this high, blood curling screech that must have sounded like a little girl getting a pony for her birthday, not a 400 lbs man.  I was squawking like a wounded bird running back and forth as bird poop seeped down my helmet and onto my shirt.  They both were like are you hurt?  Are you hurt.  Omg what happened.  They both rushed to me and I was like a bird pooped on me.  It thought they both were going to choke me because they both thought I was really hurt.  Once again I was told it wasn't a big deal and it was good luck.  Again no luck for me that day when I was trying to clean off my helmet and shirt from being the victim of a fly bye.  Literally! 

And then there was today!  Frustrated by my inability to sell my skills.  Getting in trouble for saying fuck to much.  Being completely unmotivated I asked Jill to walk with me. So we walk and talk and Jill does what she always does help me feel better about myself.  So we cruise along for our 25 minutes.  We walk we talk.  Everything seems fine.   We check Snow to make sure she is getting juice.  We take the elevator with Chris Beasley up.  He had a thing of butter and alieve which he said was for later that night.  Awkward.  We are walking back to our cubes.  I run my fingers into my angel soft hair and all the sudden it's not so soft.  What the fuck is that in my hair.  I reach in thinking it might be gel but when i I see it, it is white with a black speck in it.  Ewewwwww there was bird poop in my head.  It was so fucking gross.  It like dissolved  in my hand.  So once again I have been shit on by a bird.  For the third time!  Is it a charm?  I doubt.  I really do.   

I see darkness approaching not light.   Some times all we can do I brace and weather the storm!  Who knows maybe this shitting will be good luck though.  I'm going to shower, again!