Porkins
or
Porkins
As many of you know the Star Wars Half Marathon is really
important me for a number of reasons.
First and foremost is it is a sense of being a live again. Having a purpose that isn’t work related. Having a goal that is going to be really hard
to attain, but yet it is still attainable.
Second, it is fucking Star Wars man!
I have been a Star Wars my entire life. My first living memories are Star Wars commercials. I knew from the moment I first saw it I was
hooked. My Mom loves to tell the story
about when she took us to see Star Wars and I instantly went into a
trance. I sat on her lap and stared at
the screen and didn’t make a sound. I just sat there and watched the movie truly
taken to a galaxy far, far away. I was
so still and quiet, that she kept asking me if I was ok. Trying to get my attention, but I was gone. I
was so into the movie. She finally said
to me Billy you answer me right now or I am taking you out of here. I turn and was “What do want Mom!” and turned
back and watched the movie.
So, I have to go to this Marathon. I have to. It is combining my favorite things
in life Star Wars and Endurance sports.
When I was telling my Mom about the Half she was yes, you have to go,
that is so neat. That is so you!
I will be honestly; I am excited to go see the
characters. I keep seeing these pictures
with me and Chewbacca on this blog. First, it is me and Chewie standing side by
side, or even hugging. Then I put my
hand out to slap me five and then I pull my hand back is the 2nd photo. The third photo is me doing my best Lando
Calrissian impersonation because I am on my knees with Chewie choking me out,
just like the end of Empire because I wouldn’t give him five. I also see me in front of a firing squad of
Storm Troopers. Finally, Darth Vader and
I are playing Air Guitar as we stand over the mutilated corpse of Jar Jar Binks.
I know a lot of people will be Star Wars’ing up for the Race
too. I imagine on the course I will see
at least 1 Boba Fett, 3 Vader’s, 9 Han Solo’s, 12 Storm Troopers, 15 Wookies, 18
Yoda’s, and 30 Leia’s, and 45 Slave Leia’s and I will personal judge a contest
after the race on the hottest Slave Leia.
The truth there aren’t a lot of Characters I can dress up
as. Well real characters anyway. I know what comes to everyone’s mind first:
Jaba the Hutt. Ha, Ha. It fits he is large, and I am large. I mean like 99.9% of all people I am a huge
Fett fan. I loved Boba. Jango was cool, mis-used, but cool. Now, I have always said if I was a Fett, I
wouldn’t be Boba or Jango, I would be Jumbo Fett. Still, he isn’t a real character. So what am I to do?
I want to be part of this Race! I want to be a real part of it, and dress up
and have fun. So, after scouring the
Star Wars Universe, I finally found someone that I can be. I am 99% sure I won’t see another one out on
the course. I am going to be Porkins!
Watch Here:
Stick with this till the family guy portion:
I have even found how I can get to this costume:
I can get a shirt from here:
Shorts from here:
I am still looking for a helmet which will be attached to my
camelback. I am not wearing no helmet
13.1 miles.
Now I will need to find someone to help me get these two
items on my shirt…
And then boom! I am
Porkins!
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