Do it right, with a smile. Or don’t do it.

“Do what I did…  what I did when I was twenty-six and came home to find my wife and two kids gutted on the floor.  Decide to be fine til the end of the week.  Make yourself smile, because your alive and it’s your job.  And do it again next week…. I call it being professional.  Do it right, with a smile.  Or don’t do it.” Frank Devereaux to Dean Winchester, Supernatural

 

It’s Friday and all is quiet in the realm.  Another week passes and you are found asking yourself over and over how I can possibly maintain.  You failed this morning.  You didn’t make your shake last night, so you choose what you thought was the lesser of two evils, McDonald’s breakfast sandwich over donuts in the Cloud.  My stomach hurts now.  You chose poorly and you watched an 84 day winning streak of not eating in a drive thru come to an end. 

You realize that your bad feelings aren’t solely contributed to making a really poor breakfast choice.  One that you won’t make again, you promise it, here and now.  This will not become a trend.  It can’t I can’t feel like I am going to shit myself like this ever again.  No it is something bigger and larger and it has hung over you for a long time. 

You have said here a lot lately you have done a lot of stupid things lately.  Things you are not proud of.  Things that you have to stop, some doors should just be closed and left that way for good and others should have never been opened.  However, that isn’t really it either.  Is it?  It bothers you but, no it isn’t. 

The truth of the matter is you have to deal with what is right in front of you.  You can sit here and continue to be a passive observer in the game, or you can play to win.  I have been told and I firmly believe you create your own image in the world, how you act affects your KA, and your KA tells more of a story about you than anything you do or say. 

If you are wondering listlessly along in the darkness and don’t give two shits about what you are supposed to be doing each and every day then when you try to package yourself and sell yourself people see that.  They pick up the bad juju.  So not only are you in a world of shit, you also are putting that out there.  I am sure people can feel your desperation.  They can sense the simple truth you just don’t give a flying fuck anymore.

All the people around you sense it.  They feel it and they know it to be true.  You know it is true too.  You don’t care anymore, but you have to maintain.  For whatever reason you are here right now, and that is where you are supposed to be so you need to deal with that. 

The burning question in your mind is do you put that smile on your face and fake it.  Do you force yourself to smile and act like everything is a-o-k?  After all you are a professional and you need to act that way.  You need find the fake smile because you are here, now and you need to deal with that. 

Not only that, you have to play the game.  You know that you not only have the smarts, but the support to win the whole fucking thing.  If you are stuck, then perhaps you should be stuck in a situation you control the outcome of.  No one knows what you know.  No one has the experience, the creativity, or the work ethic.  When it comes done to it, you have already sold your soul for this fucking place.  What is wrong with selling a little bit more. 

This is the last thing that has to be balanced in your life.  Even know your heart isn’t completely healed each day it gets a little easier, and it will pass.  Even though you are still a food junky, you normally make good choices, or better choices, and one major fuck up in 84 days won’t change that.  You are moving.  You walk every day.  You only have 9 more 2-a-days to do in June.  After this weekend it will be 8 for sure.  So, the question is do you win or do you die.  Do you put on the fake smile and start pulling levers.  Or do you keep drifting. 

 

This shit is too heavy for a Friday.