Page 107

Book of 2016

- Page 107 - 

Nice walk today, 2 miles.  I also got to sleep in and that is pretty sweet.  You can never complain about getting good sleep and the puppy let me sleep too.  She didn't try to get me up for any late night yum-yums.  She is busy taking a nap right now.  She went on the walk too and has been a lazy bum ever since.  Then again a walking in 70 degree weather while wearing a fur coat might make me pretty sleepy too.  So, I won't give her to much grief.  

On Day 7 and 8 of the 21 day program I started.  It got into talking about God and prayer.  As I have said here several time I have my own issues with the big brother upstairs.  So, I really struggle with this.  I am not sure if my issues stem from praying to him every night for 20 years and asking to be thin or if it comes from when I was depressed and hampered with obsessive thoughts and I would beg for them to stop and they didn't until I found another good named Prozac.  It is really interesting because the lady on the tape talks about rolling her eyes every time someone in a meeting mentioned God.  Which is pretty much what I do when anyone mentions him.  

As I have said before I believe there is something.  I am just not sure what I believe in.  I also know what I want to believe in and that is the God-self.  That I want to believe in the power of my mind, heart, and soul to help me achieve the peace and serenity that I am looking for in this life time.  Of course I believe in KA.  In my mind’s eye Ka is fate.  Fate is destiny.  Ka leads us to our path and we must stand and be true so that we can make it our tower.   I know my tower is closer.  

I am excited about what is next in my life.  I am starting to believe that I can win again.  It is going to take time and it won't be easy.  However, the last two weeks have been good weeks.  I have felt accomplished over that time.  Like I am getting back into a good groove.

I also think it is good that I have taken the gloves off again and started to talk about what really troubles me.  

OH MY GOD, Shiner is snoring!  Sleepy girl (snaps photo and adds to blog above)

I think I am ready to go to some group work and spin my tale.  I think I am ready to start taking responsibility and fighting for the life I want.    Time to stop making excuses and just do it.  I can't wait till Wednesday afternoon!