Page 137

Book of 2016

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The Four Agreements as I have learned the by reading a book about them by Don Miguel Ruiz called "The Four Agreements"  

I am on reading number 2 and will probably read it one more time before it is all said and done.  The concepts seem very simple and like commons sense, but I am not sure they are either.  

1.  Be Impeccable with your Word

2.  Don't Take Anything Personally

3.  Don't Make Assumptions.

4.  Always Do Your Best

I wrote a long time ago that I wanted my to be true to my word and that I wanted to be free to say whatever I wanted.  I am not sure that is 100% what the first agreement is, I think it really means words have power and the words we say is what defines us.  So don't say anything you can't or don't want to stand behind. However, I think they are related. I think that words are power.  I think that the words especially the ones we tell are selves really define the reality in which we live in.  If we believe all the things we say to ourselves in words and images or the flashes thru the brain and those images are negative and dark then how can our reality not be negative and dark?  Speak with integrity.  Don't speak against yourself.  Use is to help shape a loving and well rounded dream.

I am one who takes everything personally.  Don't email me or text me back, even if I say I don't care, it probably means I think you could give a shit if I ever talk to you again. I firmly believe that I am the center of not my universe but all universes and while I am the center of mine, others, not so much.  I have a really bad habit of taking things personally. I think that is b/c deep in side I carry such a low opine of myself.  Has the opine gotten better since we started this journey and speaking truth.  Since we started to lay everything down here in the Buddy System, why yes, yes it has, but some things are hard to break.  Sometimes, we over estimate our importance in the grand scheme of things.   I need to master this one most of all b/c once i do I will no longer be the victim in my life but the godself I am looking to be. 

Ah... the Assumption.  What does it do makes an ass out of me and you...how many pounds can I attribute to making assumptions about what people are doing or saying or thinking?  How much of my high blood pressure can be attributed to endless worry that is generated in my mind but not where else.  If people could see the worlds I have built based off assumptions they would be impressed.  Perhaps some day I will be able to write about them.  However, right now, I can just tell you that they are grand and vast.  They say if you can conquer this one agreement you can vastly change your life.  If you can learn to communicate efficiently and effectively.  Explain and discuss so you can avoid drama.  Find the courage to ask the question and have the conversations you really want to have.  

Work hard and be honest... I think when the tale of the tape is written and the one thing I learned from Doc more than anything else will be these words.  Word hard and be honest.  In my mind they line up perfectly with always do your best and another thing my dad taught me weekend after summer weekend of doing free hard labor in his garden no matter how hard I tried to get out of it was, do things right the first time.  If you always do your best you can forget self doubt.  If you always do your best there will be no regret.  Have I done my best losing weight?  No not even close.  I have never given it the ole college try.  I have let to many other things get in my way.  So I have lots of regrets.  What if I would have stuck to weight watchers when I was 12, 28, and 38?  What if I would have stayed on Paleo and gone sugar free for a full year?  What if, what if... so many regrets.  What if I would have just let her go... What if I'd just finished Guardian at the Gate.. What if... So many things we can sit here and say what if too.  however... we now have the time to do that.  Now we see it for what it is so we don't have to question anymore.  So that we can move forward.  We won't always be perfect, but damn it we have a lot better in us than what we have shown!

Several people have asked me why my last few blogs have been so deep,  or what is going on?  I just site there and wonder why don't you see it?  Can't you tell it?  Can't you see I am trying to wake up form my current dream?