Page 136

Book of 2016

- Page 136 - 

I am not qualified to write what I am going to write.   I am a traveler in search of peace for my soul.  Who knows how long I will pull at this thread and get tired of it. I told you a few times over the last weeks that Don Miguel Ruiz and his book "The Four Agreements" blew my mind.  Even in the 2nd reading which I am doing now it continues to enlighten me and help me search for something that I know is already inside me, I just need to unlock it. However, I cam across this line again today in my walking and as I looked around at the world around me not for the first time did I start to ask questions.  Seemingly random little questions that I wonder if they aren't more important.  I believe in my heart that there are other worlds than these.  I believe that there are an infinite number of realities that span the time and space.  I have often thought it would be so cool to write a book that outlined the what if scenarios of the choices we make.  What would have happened had I decided to transfer from IU to ISU?  What would have happened if I had stuck to atkins in college.  So on and so forth across the vast majorities of the forks each and everyone of us come to in our life.  Each time we turn left down the path, a version of our self turns right and seemingly we go to different out comes.  

Again, I am not qualified in such things as time and space and the physics of the multi-verse.  No, I am just a dreamer, that has probably read one or two to many Stephen King novels or comics books.  i am just someone who is fascinated by the galaxy and its infinite set of possibilities.   

Each time I think about the quote pictured above it leads me to a question I keep asking myself when I am on the highway to and from work.  Each week days traveling about 80 miles per day.  Cruising along at the speed limit, after I have an electric car and I must make good gas mileage, otherwise what is the point?  

So I am driving and I either have one of my self help books going, sports radio, or some old rock band ripping the air waves with heavy guitar and music that sounds more like howls and screams than actual singing.  I am driving along and I see a road sign.  Pleasanton exit 2 miles or whatever it says and I say to myself that sign is green.  I see it and it is green and if I asked you what color it was you would say green as well.  However, do we see the same green?  What if green to me is one color and to you it is another.  I drive along and I think this, there is really no way to know.  I will never look through your eyes and you will never look through mine.  I can point to green on a color chart and you can point to the same thing and we will never know what each of us sees.  I think about this stuff and my mind can't hardly stand it.  I have a simple mind.  I am not great thinker or philosopher.  I am just a kid from the south side of Terre Haute that wants to believe.  

Then as I ponder these realms of multiple points of view, I think about what is next beyond this time and this place.  I have to go back to something I have heard over the years and that I find myself latching onto, that death is not the final step, it is just the next step on the path.  Maybe heaven and hell wait beyond this time and place, but for some reason I don't think it is that simple. 

I firmly believe I am in this vessel and in this time because my soul needed to learn something on this plan, something I had to know to continue my journey through the cosmos.  I had to dream this dream in order find out something about myself.  Perhaps it is humility?  Perhaps it is faith?  Perhaps it is to never quit?  Never stop fighting for what you want.  Maybe it is to quiet the mind and push hard for the peace you see just out of reach.  I am not sure.  

Again, i am not great philosopher and I don't have wise and sage advice.   I am a man who is trying to understand such complex things as when you see the color green is it the same color I see?    I also, know that I have work to do to make my dream, my dream!  

I wonder if I ponder this stuff more than I used to these days because I feel like time is short in Indiana. I am not a doctor or a medical professional, and I am even less qualified to speak about this than the strange rant I just went on, however, something in my gut keeps telling me to go get two suits because you are going to need them. I think about this and I try not too, but the thoughts come.  They un-glue me, but I stand back up and pull myself together.  Time might be short but all that matters is what we do with the time we have been given. I hope to all the gods in all the heavens that I am wrong and thoughts about life and the cosmos and multi-verse are just things an over active incrimination dreams about in its idol time.  Like I said I am not qualified to talk about any of this, but .. i did anyway.