Book of 2016
- Page 45 -
The Buddy System Paradise Report Addition!
From the time I got up until the time I got to the plane there is really nothing to tell . It was your normal travel morning. Rush to airport, rush thru line, rush thru security, get to the gate and wait. It was good to see some familiar faces at the gate though. That doesn't happen very often for me. Thanks again Meghan for the coffee, hit the spot!!! However, the day would go down hill from there. Not how you want to spend the stupidest holiday of them all.
The flight was bumpy, however, I made it as entertaining as I could for myself. I think the guy sitting two seats over from me must have thought I was looney tunes, but then again the freaking dude should have given me that OMG, I hope I am not next to the fat guy look. So, I decided to have some fun with him. I had a companion seat as I always do when I fly coach. It is just the right thing to do when you are the size of two people. I could sit here and argue I don't need two, but damn, it just makes it so much better. So, when he told me he was in the window seat, and asked if I could get up I said sure, and as he tried to hustle in, I told him to stop and wait for my friend Kliff to get out. I said he would be sitting next to Kliff and that he should be nice to him. I stood there and acted like I was helping Kliff get out of the middle seat and into the isle. The look on the dudes face was priceless. Give that oh shit I am sitting next to the fat guy look again bitch!
For any of you long time readers or anyone who knows my general shenanigans, you will know first Kliff is a cat I used to live with, but his name was actually Clyde. However, I could never remember his real name, so I started calling him Kliff. So, much so that by the time I stopped living with him he would answer to Kliff. Now, Kliff's legacy would grow and grow in those early years in San Jose as me and Kliff's other male roommate Brad would make up stories about how he was a thug, and slang nip to the other cats. Man, I miss Kliff, poor thug, got merced by some hard rolling coyotes in Denver. Anyway, over the years, Kliff has become the name I most often introduce myself as. Meet a new person in the office, I tell them I am Kliff. Go to weight watchers, I tell them my name is Kliff. So on and so on and so on!! Well today Kliff was going to be my imaginary friend on the way to Hawaii.
I took this joke however, funny, or not as far as I could go. I fastened the seat belt in the companion seat next to me so Kliff could be safe. When drinks were served, I pull down Kliff's trey table and asked him if he wanted something to drink, perhaps a nice warm milk? I got two of every kind of item they gave away on the plane. Waffle with caramel, I got two, one for me and one for Kliff. Cheese Cake for V-day, I got two, one for me and one for Kliff. Drinks, well no, b/c I just kept saying Kliff wasn't thirsty. I think the best though was when the turbulence hit and it was bad, not the Denver in December bad, but felt like a good mixed drink shaken, not stirred bad. At one point we got hit from the right side and then we bounced up and down really fast, and I said out loud "OH GOD KLIFF TAKE MY HAND!" My hand shot into the seat next to me and I grabbed the clasped seat-belt and hung on to it. After the that bout of turbulence I turned and thanked Kliff for taking my hand. The look on the dudes face was priceless!!! Twice I got up and said, ok, Kliff if you have to go, you have to go! And stood up for a about five minutes stretching my legs, which I do on a plan regularly and then would sit back down and buckle Kliff back in to his seat. This went on for the entire 5 hour flight. In the line for rental cars, the guy and his girlfriend just kept looking over at me and I just smiled at them :D
I couldn't make this up, hmm maybe, but then again maybe not! Maybe I am just full of it... but I promise the rest of this tail is true for sure! However, I am having trouble getting pictures from my phone to the my computer, so this might not be as funny as I was hoping it would be.
I got a rental to get to the hotel. I debated about it over and over again, but decided rental was the way to go for me. When I got to the lot I had my pick of a Malibu, we all know I love the Malibu. A Camaro, which was the first car I ever owned. However, I was not going to pick this, for no other reason than when I was getting on the bus to go to the rental car place a man got off and looked at me and said whatever you do, don't get the camaro! Which made me sort of want to get the camaro, but then I wondered if this was some island legend or folklore that I must also pass on to the next people who get to the island. I don't know, but I didn't feel the camaro was a good choice. So, then I came to what I call the silver bullet. It was a silver charger and thought it didn't look as bad ass the 68 charger my dad used to own and let me drive, it was still pretty bad ass. There should be a picture here, damn it! Let me tell you I love Snowflake, she is a good car. I like using electricity and getting 40 mpg. However, there is something about having a car that will kick a little ass when you put your foot down that makes you feel, well like a fucking man! I mean that car would get up and go. You have to understand I can put the Volt to the floor and I go no where, but in this car, it was just ready to fucking go and I liked it! (Side note and update pictured downloaded)
As I drove, I also took pictures, I don't know of what, but I am sure it was safe. Ok, I know it is dumb, but It was so pretty!
Look at that sky!
El Beav, this one is for you, I will try and swipe it on my way out. SPG is a smokers best friend. if you don't know what it is, then you aren't a pit master!
Yes, i will take that view please!!!
I just love a blue sky!
Do you know what is behind this door? Do you? My room, I bet that is what you are thinking!
No it is not my room! It was some one else. I literally walked into there room and had free range of the place. I walked in and there were all these clothes hanging in the closet and I was like that doesn't look right. Then I smelled perfume and I was like that doesn't smell right either. Do the rooms come with french whores? Then I saw a pair of teva's (no offense to the wearers of teva's they just aren't for me) and I was like oh hell no and I back out and returned to the front desk. I held out for the lady who helped me, mainly b/c she was hot, and I was like um, i think you gave me the wrong key and I told her what happened. she was mortified. Hell if she'd been next to me on the plane, she'd probably need a straight jacket by now. I was very kind and I actually apologized to her. Hot chicks have an effect on me.
So, my room picks still aren't down loading. Not all of them anyway, it's a really nice room, however, I noticed when I turned away from the window, it appeared that there was a one way mirror from my bathroom. I walked into the bathroom and there is one. I am not really sure what goes on in the St Regis but some of it might be a little kinky!
That being said today is Valentines Day and some people are the romantic type. Could you have imagined if the room I had entered above would have had a couple in the throws of passion going at it and I had walked straight into the bathroom, b/c I did have to pee, and looked out into the room and well saw them. That would have been well a little awkward to say the least.
I get now that this is to watch the sun from the bathroom, I like it, thanks to the guy who brought me my luggage and gave me the room tour.
However, the rest of the room is nice. Really nice. It has a big king bed, and a desk, and a couch. They even brought me a fan to sleep with! I love these people!
However, screw the room. Lets take a look at what is important and that is the view!!!
Pretty fucking nice wouldn't you say!!! You can't beat that! It is awesome!!!
Then to top it off as I was sitting here waiting on luggage and typing away, and drying to download some pictures, I got to see the sunset from my room and well man, it was nice! Really, really nice!!!
Sort of makes you glad to be alive and be able to enjoy such beauty!!!!
I love the islands!!! Really, I do love them! I think I was meant for the Islands!! When I get rich, I am moving to the islands, I can get used to this shit. Write all day and watch the sun fall at night! That is a good, good life!!!!!!
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