Rogue Challenge Day 2: 20 minute walk @ 2.5 mph.
My car is just to the left of this picture, out of site. I literally, only needed to walk past the cement turn left, and get into car and drive. This is how close I was to going off track today. Which is day 2 of the Rogue challenge, but honestly, it really day 1, because yesterday, I knowingly and willingly went off the RESET Challenge. I had some popping corn, a little ice cream, and a bagel. All of which are not on the approved list, but things I ate them, knowing today I would get back on track. However, I didn't realize just how hard it was going to be to get back on track.
I woke up with a sugar hang over from eating that crap yesterday. I had a really hard time getting out of bed and getting going this a.m. My stomach feels full, really full. I am uncomfortable and generally irritable.
Work is stressing me out, the next week will be a whirlwind. A run to quarter end always is. this is a bit different b/c I am operating without back up to some extent.
Worst is the food I spent yesterday preparing i have absolutely no interest in eating right now. Then only thing that sounded good to me is something that ends in Za or fry. I battled it. I did, I can't tell you how long I did battle it. I sat here and battled it. However, i just didn't think the lettuce, salsa chicken, and salsa sounded good. So, I said you know what I am stressed. I can go, I can go eat some pizza from Whole Foods, I mean at least is from Whole Foods right? That will be ok. I am stressed. So, I grabbed my phone, my wallet and my shades and I stood up and I headed for the car. I felt bad, physically, like I was hung over. However, I am also mentally exhausted.
So, there I was at the edge of the 2nd row of the parking lot and I stopped. I just stopped and stood there. I felt the sun on my face and the wind in my hair. I didn't really think about anything. I just stood there stared out the path in the picture above. i turned and looked at the building for a long time, staring at the huge 4140 hanging above the door. I turned back and stared into the distance. I turned and looked towards 580 and just stood.
I stood there with the sun on my face and I snapped the picture above. And I decided, I am not going to let sugar and weakness rule my life. I have worked to hard over the last 30 days to just fold up and start eating pizza at ever turn. So, I texted Chrissy and said I was close to breaking but i caught myself and I went on a 20 minute walk. Came up stairs and had some cashews and wrote this blog.
I won this round. I won't always win. However, I am winning more battles these days than losing. I also realized that I need structure in my life. I need the challenges to keep me on the path. I have to have something to work for, otherwise i am lost at sea. So, I see now the benefit of being on the Rogue Challenge and here is to 90 days of living without sugar, dairy, and all the other things that make me go coo-coo for coco puffs as they say. Cleaning living. 90 days! I can do this.
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