I miss several things on the paleo diet. I miss rice. I miss chow mien. I miss french fries, not the sweet potato kind, but real deal. I know this stuff is all bad for me, it makes me want to eat more and more shit. However, of all the things that I miss, I miss nothing more than Pizza! If Fast Food was an issue for me, Pizza was just a problem. When I lived in the city in the inner sunset, there was a pizza place one maybe two blocks from where I lived. I ordered it any where from 4 - 7 times a week. Thus eating pizza for dinner pretty much every night. They also had a mean gnocchi and that in Alfredo sauce added some pounds too, but the Pizza was the gateway drug to the gnocchi. The worst part about this is I didn't walk two block to go and get this pizza, no, I had it delivered. Two blocks, and I had it delivered. I won't even tell you about the Chinese restaurant that was in a building three building away that I had them deliver too. Yes, I was pretty fucking lazy. Back then I should have known I was going in the wrong direction when I was walking one weekend. I was out in the high avenues, 25 or something and I pass a gas station and the man filling up there is the pizza delivery guy, and he knew me, by sight, and name and he waved and started talking to me like we were old friends. Yes, that is how much I ordered. The last time I lost around 60 lbs and did well on a diet the first thing that went was pizza. When the weight came back on and more added it was b/c I started ordering the pizza again. Pizza was a vicious cycle for me to during my marathon and tri training years. I would order a large, b/c I wanted to have enough pizza, but then I would proceed to eat the entire large so that I didn't eat it as left overs the next day. Every time after a big walk I order a pizza that night. I felt as if I had earned it and it would balance each other out. Things only got worse when I realized the Good Guys Pizza in Campbell actually had an extra large! Oh know! The issue is I love pizza. I often go back in forth on what my last meal would be. Would it be a burger and fries or would it be pizza, you know a good Chicago gut buster, one that has crust on the top and bottom and is more of a casserole than a pizza. This summer I was introduced to a place in San Ramon called Zachary's and this fucking place, let me tell you they have some good fucking pie! No as good as the stuff in Chicago, that my sister takes me to, but pretty damn good none the less. However, in November, I made myself a promise that I wasn't going to eat the pizza pie until May and Chicago, after my Goddaughters first communion. I just know what an issue it was for me. And I had stayed home in November and December to work on myself and get some weight off and gods be damned if that didn't include eating pizza. Now, I have in and out burger 3 times in the last 75 days. I will go there and I go there b/c at least that food is real. I get the burgers protein style, no bun, and i do have an order of fries, but i can have an in and out and get back on track. I couldn't have a gut buster and get back on track. I just couldn't. Because even when I put the pizza in the fridge after I eat it, it fucking calls to me in my sleep. I wake up craving it, and next then you know I am up and 2:30 or 3 in the a.m. housing left over pizza. This happens even when Rachel makes her homemade pizza, which is a damn good pie, if I do say so myself.
A few weeks ago the cravings for the pizza started up. If I know one thing about myself that is once the craving start, it is all over, b/c I will need to have it. I will need to eat it or it is just going to be a cataclysmic event and start yet another downward spiral. Last weekend Katie sent me a picture of a pizza she made that was all Paleo. And since December I have eyed the paleo pizza. However, I am very sensitive to eating cheese. I love cheese. Fuck it is good stuff. So, I know Katie used a lite mozzarella on hers. However, I wasn't sure if I want to do that, or not. I also wasn't sure if I should try one of these vegan cheeses. and that is when I found this recipe on line:
http://www.paleocupboard.com/paleo-pizza.html
Many thanks to the Paleo Cup Board for this.... Now reading the instructions, and stuff, I am not going to lie I felt intimidated. I wasn't sure if the kid could pull this off. However, it was a Saturday afternoon and the craving had set in, and I decided, why the fuck not give it a try.
Making the Cheese:
That's right, I made my own cheese using the ingredients below:
Got my trust sauce pan ready and went to work.
Add in some pine nuts!
Then some raw cashews.
Look at my nuts!!!
Cover nuts with water.
Add 1/4 tbs of sea salt!
Basil.
A little oregano.
Bring my nuts to a slow boil.
A little Pepper!
Just a bit of garlic powder.
Get my trust food processor ready!
Get the strainer ready for when I need to drain my nuts.
Food Processor at the ready!
A little Almond Milk.
Lemon Juice!
Some Apple Cider Vinegar too!
Gelatine. Never used this before, but here we go.
Add spices to food processor.
add in drained nuts!
Make a paste.
Boil you almond milk, lemon juice, galantine, and vinegar mix.
Boils fast.
Turned my nuts into a nut paste. Ya, I am not going to touch that one.
Add the liquid to the food processor.
Get FP ready to do what it does best.
Start blending that shit till it is smooth.
Grease you ramekins.
Add liquid and place in fridge for two hours.
Who the fuck knows what I was shooting there. Probably my pocket or something.
TIME TO MAKE THE SUACE!
So, I made my own sauce.
Sauce pan, check!
Tomato sauce, check!
Parsley, check!
Basil, check.
Oregano, check.
Add in bowl, looks nice!
Minced onions, check!
Onion Powder, check!
Garlic Powder, check!
Poor in to Sauce pan that is going at a medium heat while you were mixing this stuff.
Ok, what I don't show here is what happened when I added that to a medium heated sauce pan. I basically, blackened the pan, ruined the sauce. I went back and read the instructions. And it should have been a low heat. Well, let me tell you I learned that the hard way. The fucking thing exploded every where. I had tomato sauce on the microwave, I had it on the stove top. On the floor. I mean, it was the shit storm of all time, I have not pictures, b/c I went into panic mode.
So, I basically remixed everything in a a new sauce pan and well, below is a much better result.
TIME TO MAKE THE CRUST:
Ok, coming out of a sauce debacle, I was down right scared when it came to making the crust. I have tried to make that make it home doe before, and it has been a disaster. I have cooked a lot of sauces in my life and never had it explode in a tomato sauce heat bomb before. So, going onto the crush, I was half tempted to pack in it. But, I had come way to far to turn back. I set my fear aside and got big green and deep purple ready to make some crust!
This isn't you list of usual suspects.
Then a little olive oil.
Then I beat the shit out of it, but not before dropping my phone into the bowl. Ya, i know. I was completely discombobulated after the burnt sauce, and I had regrouped yet. I was really stressed making this crust.
Add some Oregano to big green, check!
Then add some basil, check!
Garlic Powder, Check!
Then Tapioca Flour, what the fuck is tapioca flower.
Then some almond flour.
work it out and remove clumps.
Mix in your eggs and oil mix.
hmm, not sure how we are going to get crust out of this.
I'll be a son of a bitch... it worked...
This is where I read the instructions wrong :( I made to balls like it said on parchment paper.
But, the shit wouldn't roll out it was too stick.
I tried to read group and pat it out.
I tried really hard and was so frustrated I wanted to cry, b/c I had worked so hard to get here and it was falling apart and I was not going to have enough to make pizza and I was so mad, I couldn't see straight. What had I done wrong this time. I went back and read the instructions and....
Apparently, I was supposed to place parchment paper on the top too, and then roll it and when I did that, I got .... pizza crust, yay!
So Added that shit to the over which was preheated to 375!
Ya, beats the piss out of me what that is!
While the crust was cooking up it was time to check on my cheese.
firmed up nicely!
So, I started to shred it!
It was a little messy!
But it worked!
Crust cam out a little never but over all nice!
Add some sauce!
Hey we just might have a pizza here...
Add the cheese....
add the turkey pepperonis
Put in over and let it cook for 15 minutes... and
We have pizza, I repeat, I repeat we have pizza!!!!!!!!!
Slice it and
Serve it!
Overall i was impressed, it was really good and it definitely kills the pizza craving! You can definitely last the cashew in the cheese which ins't a bad thing. It is just different. However, I will make it again and I was really happy with the crust, it was awesome! Mostly, I am proud of myself for sticking with it and doing it and finally enjoying it in the end as well! Good stuff good stuff indeed. And my friend is how i made paleo pizza. It won't be an every weekend thing, but maybe every other. The best is I only ate half of it and will eat the other half for lunch today =) and guess what I don't feel the least bit guilty or bloated, or greasy like pizza always made me feel like in the past.
Overall A++ on the pizza adventure. =)
By the way did I tell you the whole time I did that I was also pulling a pig for next weeks lunches? Mmm Pulled Piggy too!
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