Getting Blown out.....

I am not stranger to blow outs.... not even a little bit.  However, what happened to these pants between lunch yesterday and the time I got home is another story all together.

I will be honest, I am sitting here and I don't feel like writing.  Not even a little.  I gained 3.8 pounds last week.  I would like to point a lot of fingers: to much sausage, to much dark chocolate (had a run on it), to much stress, to little stress, to much water, not enough water, body had lost ten pounds the previous three weeks, perhaps it went into starvation mode, I didn't take a big poop before I weight, i ate before I weight, this, that the other.  It doesn't really matter.  The fact of the matter is things are still going in the right direction.  And frankly that is all I need to hear about it.  I am still at least 6 waist sizes down.  How do I know this because I wore pants I hadn't worn in 2 years an d they are 6 waste sizes smaller than what I was wearing when I started this.

these where the pants I was wearing in November:

As you can see there is a lot of room there =)

Then again, the pants I work yesterday I had never worn, they fit great.  And bam... I lost the ass in them.  It started with little tear at lunch getting into Gabe's car.  I heard.  I knew that sound, I had heard it before back in.....

It was the summer of 1993 and my Dad got me on at the Bank again as a teller.  I totally protested, I wanted to be stock boy at a grocery store, or a lawn boy, anything but a teller, but Dad, one that battle.  Funny how Dad one a lot of those, it happens when he holds the title to your car and the place where you live.  So I go back to work slinging peoples money at a bank.  I was a big guy even at 18.  Not as big as I am now, but big enough for every one to tell me how fat I was.  

However, I was well dressed, and always had a good tie on.

I am working one weekday afternoon at the Springhill Branch of THFNB.  Springhill was the busy branch, never a free moment in that place.  I went to work there with dread in my heart.  So I was working away one day and waiting on a customer, who asked for a roll of nickels.  Who the f gets a roll of nickels anyway?  As I reach down for them, and they totally slip out of my hand.  Billy b who had grown up being a catcher his entire life, and a good one for a lefty, I will say.  So when I dropped the nickels it was natural for me to drop into my catcher's crotch to pick up what I had dropped. When I did though, it was not pretty.  I squatted and as I did, I heard it.  A sound that will remain with me until the day I move into the clearing at the end of the path.  A rip, that was so loud, I am sure the rest customer must have heard it.  If she did, she made no sign of it.  However, the Billy b had a blow out.  Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to side shuffle your way from one end of the bank to another?  Then have the head teller come down and shut your window down and send you home to change. Well, it sucks. However, most stories would end there, but not mine.  No, not mine.  It had been raining that day, which meant my brothers who both worked out doors where at home.  Younger brothers best friend there too, why the f not.  Mom home as well.  They were all seated around the kitchen table.  I walked by them without a word and went into my room and changed.  My mom came in and was like what is wrong.  She saw the pants, and she smiled and went back to the kitchen.  I was greeted with a roar of laughter when I passed back through the kitchen  and jeers that only brothers and brother's best friends can really do well.  Then to top it off, when I got back to the office, every other teller just looked at me and smiled, so evidently the head teller could keep a secret about as well as my mom. (love you mom=)

So, when i heard the tear yesterday getting into Gabe's car, I feared the worse.  However, when we got to BW3's it really wasn't that bad.  My shirt was long, so I was sure that I could get through he day.  However, there was more tearing when I got back into Gabe's car, again, not some much that the shirt couldn't hide it.  However, as the afternoon wore on and getting up and down from my seat to do work, they just kept ripping and ripping.  Thank god for boxer briefs so my boys couldn't hang out.  now that would have been terrifying.  Then I get into snow flake to go home and I hear another rip.  At this point I am like why the fuck not.  It should have ended there, but when I got home I was in a hurry to get them off get changed and get off to my appointment.  So, there I was dropping trow right as I walked in the door, I didn't bother to take my tennis shoes off and my left foot got stuck in the leg and, pants ruined.  you see what is left of them.  It looks like my pants had there own personal chest burster, or I ripped the loudest most raunchy fart of them all, which if I did or did not do that it is not your business, but mine.

So, to be honest, am I disappointed about putting back on three pounds, ya, I am, but I have to look at the body of work I have done.  I also have to look after every gain there has been a big lose.  Sometimes my body doesn't process things fast enough.

There is some fear though gaining this week, a week from today I go to the island's and I will be out of my element.  I will have to make good choices and well as much as I want too, I am a weak man at times.  80%, that is all we are trying to do, is be 80% paleo and not get back on the sugar.  I will eat lots of meat, and stay away from dessert and Pancakes, stupid pancakes, with your syrup and bananas and chocolate chips sometimes...  Oh well... I will get buy, b/c I am doing it this time, I am changing my life and blow out or no blow out and up or down that isn't going to change.  I will do this!!!!

Because I will take six waste sizes and a blow out any day over feeling as awful as I did back in November and before Paleo.  I feel good now.  I have to keep on keeping on!