Bad kid, called fat, and Kentucky

Kids, Fat, and Kentucky 

I was a bad kid.  Maybe I didn't get in trouble a lot outside of home.  Yes, there was the impeachment of my 6th grade presidency, well, that's not quite correct, my government was over thrown and shut down do to a cheating scandal.  I stand by sharing the answers with my best friend, I just don't stand by him sharing it with the rest of his class.  My teacher was pissed.  He humiliated me in front of my class.  Then there were other incidents here and there nothing terrible.  Never got in a fight that wasn't between the brothers.  Never theived.  Never got kicked out of school. Never got a detention other than for chewing gum, in jr high.  Maybe there where some in grade school.  I was a bitter when I was young.  It's the vampire in me.  I also once told the hall monitor to take her belt with the strap that went over one shoulder and was orange.  What was it called? Sash?  No.  U get the idea.  Anyway i told her to shove it up her nose. My boy Poogie even then a fine lawyer got me off the hook.  Then there was the bag popping incident in the 4th grade and I got sent to the principles office.  Now I still think that was unjustified, it was during a Halloween party.  It's not my fault Sandy hadn't had enough coffee and cigarettes that day.  Of course she let me off the hook, but my big brother bob saw me in the office and narked me out.  Dick move bob that's why I'm going to drink all your booze tonight and trash you party ;-) I tease.  Look I know at home I was a brat.  Hell whenever I was with carol I was a brat.  I know this.  I said horrible things to my mom.  I was the kid on the plane cursing at his parents.  Man I was an awful kid.  However, as bad as I was, I think I was kind at heart.  I tried to be good, we all know it's just no fun.  Look I wasn't terrible.  But I wasn't good.  What I know good or bad, my mom and dad would have beat my ass of I walked up to some stranger and I said "you are fat!"  I can see it now the doc knocking me into next week with his thirty gold rings or mom carol taking off her sandal and going to town on me.  They tried.  Lord knows they tried to raise me right, but I've always talked like a trucker and been spoiled.  The point is today and for the 3rd time this week a kid walked up to me and told me I was fat.  Lets be honest, it's not a fucking secret.  I am fat.  Fat as the queen of sea cows.  But look here you little bastards kept it to your fucking self.  I know there kids and they say the darnedest things.  Fuck that!  gold rings rattling my dome.  Flip flop imprint side if the face.  

So when this little dick said it to me (and he is on my plane, and I'll beat him down if I get the chance, gorilla press him in the bulk head) says this to me, I turned to him and said "yes, yes I am, but Santa is watching and now your f...." Didn't get the rest out because he ran and hide behind his moms leg and that ugly butch had the Audacity to smile at me.  Like saying its all good.  Isn't my kid cute.     

Thursday at the drug store it was not of the same.  This family though ended up being from Kentucky and well since everyone from Kentucky thinks deliverance is a love story well what can I expect from them.  Not to much.  God I hate that fucking state.  I might try to get a partnership going w my peeps in Tennessee and see if we can't invade Kentucky and divide it up, move the people off the land, exile  them to Texas, which is almost as bad, and be done with it.  Lets start over.  The only good thing to

Come out of Kentucky beside bourbon and the Hill topper is my favorite stripper story.  Well second favorite.  The girl from Texas input thru college on my last date at netIq what was her name Sway, that's still the best I think.  Maybe ..  However, I am at a bachelor party for my brother Bob. I took the red eye to Indy and fuck was I tired.   I can't sleep on the plane.  However, I go out.  I party.  Me and the sage and wise Ben Laycock are having a beer and he is like Sir William let me buy you a lap dance and I'm like Sweet Sweet Dover it would be an honor. (His name is Ben, they call him Dover, get it?  Bend over?  Really, u suck. As they say where I grew up if the Dover is in let the party begin, but if the Dover is sober then the party be over.  Honestly, Dover is a sage and wise man, and was the first person to ever really encourage me to write.  He always saw potential in my stories.  Love that man! Still bitter over Abby but love him none the less;)  so he gets me a lap dance and this nice looking young lady is doing her job and I ask her what her name is and she says "7" and I'm sitting there thinking what a cool name and so I have to ask her where did you get that name from I asks.  She says to me "it's how old my son is."  Right there is all you need to know about Kentucky, and that is a great stripper story.

Now how did we get here?  Oh ya kids telling me I'm fat!  Well the parent should be beaten for not teaching their kids common courtesies.  Anyway, we are off the ground in Phx.   I have a buckeye fan sitting next to me.  Think I'll ask him about Michigan State and his team choking there asses off.  Anyway parents teach your kids to keep their mouthes shut and I won't go off on rants!