There is only what we accept that there is…

There is only what we accept that there is…

There is only one reality.   That is the reality we are willing to accept in our own mind.  It has taken me a long time to realize that and I had to go down into my personal rabbit hole to get there.  I wish I could sit here and saying coming out of the weekend that started the buddy system that everything was all shits and giggles and you know what I am “A-OK!”   I am not.  We aren’t there yet.  The truth is as we get into the area of a year out from the start of all this, our anniversary is 9/11 of fucking days right is just 9 days away, we have to as the inevitable question “How did we do?”

I think the answer is inevitably in each and every one of us to choose for one self just how far we have come.  The other thing is I have to admit for the first time dear reader, I don’t really give to shits what you think.  The truth is there is only what we accept there is when it come to our own realities.  What you see in your eyes might not be what I see in mine and vice versa.  Also, since I am that master of my own reality, only my opinion will create my existence. 

What I see is a man who was needy and unsure of himself taking his life into his own hands to make his reality better.  He dug into his past and present all in hopes to create a future that is beautiful.  None of this has been easy on me.  I have left people behind trying to get in the best possible place for me. 

I see my reality now as one that is beautiful.  It is overflowing with hope and excitement.  I accept for the first time in a long time I am a good writer.  I have lots to brush up on. Grammar, spelling, words use however, the frame work is there.  When I write some you want to read more.  I do that.  That freaks me out.  That I can paint a window into another universe and you can look into there and see something a live and growing. 

I see my reality that my heart is truly big and I am giving. Yes the boy was an ass.  Yes he was a bully that used words as a weapon.  However, that boy did grow into a man.  He grew up and learned from his mistakes.  He still is learning from them.  At the same time though he is giving everything he can to his friends and people around him to make the world just a little bit more tolerable.  Whether it is his gift of laughter, his whit, or word, it matters not each day he stands up and try’s to give as much to the world as he takes.

I see my reality slowly but surely developing the lifestyle I want.  Eating the foods that I need to nourish the body, not just fill it with crap.  I see myself starting to take charge of what I want and need.  I do my best to become the person that I want to be. The truth is I want to be an athlete.  I want to swim, bike, and run.  I want to get up early on the weekends and race.  I want to what most people won’t do.  I don’t want to be home anymore.  I want to be out there in the world. 

I see this now.  Here in this time and this place.  I see that the one year later we aren’t anywhere close to the end, we are still just at the beginning and that is ok.  This is an endurance race, not a sprint.  I will take my time and run my race at my pace.  I am on no one’s time table but my own. 

Honestly, I can’t remember being as happy as I have been in the last week for a long time.  For the first time in years, I realize that I am in total control of my destiny.  I can make the reality that I want.  Live the life others only dream of.  Today is a good day to be on the path of the beam.  Today is a good day to see the tower off in the distance just on the crest of the horizon. Tell me do you see it to?  It is there. 

Go then, there are other worlds than these…