Still Alive

I am still alive.  All though sometimes i wonder how.   It has been a brutal experience since labor day.   Non-stop coughing, mucus like you wouldn't believe, rapid weight loss (over 15 lbs, best diet ever), insomnia, and over all just feeling like bad.  I also think I tore a stomach muscle from all the coughing.  I have this pain on the left side of my tummy.  It bugs me when I sit and when I drive.  If I stand up and stretch is seems to be fine.  If I put ben gay on the area it is fine.  Wouldn't be the first muscle I have pulled while coughing.

I'd say I am 90% right now, although, today I woke up with more of a cough than I would have liked. Oh well, I will be coughing until next summer we all know that anyway.  I should just get used to it and deal with it.  I am frustrated though. I want to feel better.  I want the storm to pass.  I want to be running at 110%.  So much to do still.  So far still to go.

I have a list of appointments I need to start checking off to make sure I come out of this better than i went into it.  I need to go back and see the doctor about my tummy.  Bad stuff is brewing down there. Sometimes I can't keep my food down.  Normally b/c I have eaten cheese or tomato based foods and i cough it up.  However, we know my tummy has been in bad shape for a while.  no one should have to take 3 prilosec OTC a day, and still get acid.  Also, I need to go back and have my sleep study updated.  i want to make sure I am getting the best sleep I can get.  Especially with not sleeping for a week.  I missed my dreams man.  I also have a date with the allergist.  It is time to put the care of my sinus in better hands then my own.  I need to get shots and clear this crap out.  I mean Mucus your a great diet, but honestly, I would rather eat salad and walk than have you clogging me up.

I just need to keep on keeping on.  Watching what I eat and not let me my addiction get the best of me.   i have now eaten everything I have wanted to eat and each food made me feel like crap.  Pizza hacked it.  Chicken wings, hacked it up. BBQ beef sandwich with cheese and onion, yup you guess hacked it up too.  i have to understand right now toast, soup, and the smoothie's are my allies.  Also, water, and more water.

do you realize if I loose 50 more lbs I can wear jeans again!!!!  JEANS!!!!!  I swear to god if I can get into jeans before the end of the year, I will dance the fucking jig and tape it and post it on here.  I want to do that.  I long for the day I can add jeans back into the rotation.  I mean khaki's and cargo pants are great, shorts too, but fuck I miss jeans.

So, lets do it, lets make a push for jeans!!!!  Jeans! Jeans! Jeans!

ok I am going to do a little 2o minute walk.  take a shower.  watch some parks and rec.  maybe do a little house work.  and focus on a plan to get me in jeans baby!


JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!  JEANS!