Tuesday, November 4, 2014

39 and life…


A friend told me two months into my 38th year that it was going to be my year.  I think in a lot of ways she was right.  In this blog or in person, I think everyone who knows me or has read me, knows that the world changed for me last year.  I grew as a person mentally.  I am not the man I once was.  I have come face to face with a lot of my demons. 

Though I have faced a lot and dealt with a lot, I still have the one outlying question, what do I do about my unnatural relationship with food?  It is clear food is my drug.  I can’t just stop, I have tried.  I keep looking for the reasons why I am addicted to food.  Was I not loved enough as a child?  Was I overshadowed by a more dominant sibling?  I am just a loser with no self-esteem?  Am I mentally challenged and I need a villain in my life?  Is it because Pluto is no longer a planet?  Is it because the British Bulldogs lost the tag team title to the heart foundation one Saturday morning before I went to bowling?  Perhaps it is just because I am terrified to make decisions for myself?  Or I feel there is nothing special about me, so I need my enormous body so people notice me? 

I was talking to an old friend who face timed me on Saturday, a good friend, probably the best a guy could have ever asked for.  Someone who is more like the 3rd or 4th brother you have than anything else.  The one you can go years without talking to but when you come together it just clicks, it’s not awkward, and it just picks up from the last conversation and goes on.  My good friend has his own demons.  He has his own poisons which he always goes back too.   He has been to the rehab and been clean for two years.  He looked great.  He sounded great.  It was frankly so fucking good to talk to him.  I found myself trying to explain my addiction and why I ended up where I am.  I told him I had spent the last year just wanting to understand how the train came off the rails.  That when he said “Well, man, does there have to be a reason?  I am just and addict.”  The words hit me like a ton of bricks.  It just makes sense “I am just and addict”.  The key I think is saying it, meaning, and understanding it.   Really understanding what it means to make the admission.  He was calm, cool, and collected “I am just an addict.”  I like so many other things say this as a sign of KA.  It was as if my best friend form the time we first had class together at the age of 10 was telling me to stop missing the forest for the trees.  Stop wasting time looking for the reason and get started moving down the new path.  Just get moving.  Haven’t you wasted enough time?  I mean the great thing about having a friend as old as this one is that he can say shit others either don’t or won’t.  He just says it, because well sometimes it needs to be said.  He said go to a meeting.  Try it.  Get started.  Stop fucking around.  Life is to short and too precious and we aren’t getting any younger.        

Now, comes the dreaded next step.  Using what I have learned to my benefit.  Focus on the first and only goal that matters right now “Jeans in Jan 2015”.  Well Saturday, Sunday, and Monday didn’t go as planned food wise, but that is ok.  I am back now.  I swam yesterday, I will walk today, and again I am committed to no sugar, low carbs, no dairy, and just doing what is best for me.  I guess it is time to tell my co-worker Kelly, I want to go meet her friend who has done OA, and get moving in my 39th off to a great start!

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