A Game of..... Phones???????????

We aren't merely connected in Today’s world we are part of the information flow. With the rise of social media we aren't simply passive users of information received. We are active users of information. We as active users push the information and therefore have a direct impact on the world. We direct that information and share it through social media, email, and blogs. People in today's world are so saturated with information it is hard to tell if we are coming or going. Is the world really a worse place or do we just hear about issues quicker and faster? In our everyday lives we get a tidal wave of information.

Anyone who knows me knows I am addicted to the information flow.  I am a whore to email and I have been since I started using it.  I can remember running around my apartment in San Francisco as I was trying to dial into MSN so I could see if my sweet, sweet Russian Guitar teacher had emailed me back.  Take me to dinner and I am looking at my phone more than you.  I had dinner one night with my friend Deb and she actually said before it started, can we please have a conversation and play on your phone all night. When I would go to team lunches, I used to hand my cell phone telephone to a co-worker and tell them not to let me have it back until it was over. 

I think my incessant need to be connected and get information is twofold.  One there is absolutely no doubt I have ADD or some type of disorder where I can’t sit still with an idol mind.  It drives me nuts.  My mind is a powerful machine and it never turns off.  It is constantly churning.  It is either thinking about my next blog, what I need to do for work or the women who is the object of my affection.  Even worse it could be some ridiculous thing I have made up in my mind just so I have something to keep my mind occupied.  You have no idea how many issues I have created for myself in my mind’s eye. 

The other reason is that I am a multi-tasking machine.  Gabe told me one thing he really admired about me is my ability to multi-task.  I quote him here “you do have an astounding ability to multi-task. If I was on Facebook and blogging as much as you I’d get absolutely nothing done!” A key component of that is my phone.  I could do my job without my phone.  It is really that simple. 

Ok, technically, and as much as I hate to admit this, there is a third reason.  I am a needy person.  I need to be told how good I am doing in my new life.  I need to be on social media and know people are reading what I am writing.  I need it.  I have been told that I believe the world revolves around me.  I see it.  I do.  I hate this about myself.  That I have to externalize everything and that I measure who I am by the thoughts of someone else. 

So, imagine how I felt on Sunday morning when RG was telling me that some asshat had stolen her phone.  I recoiled in horror.  To me there was nothing worse that could have happened.  I spent a lot of time on Sunday trying to help her find a replacement so she could do her job.  I had no luck at all.  Then I started to notice the performance on my phone gradually getting worse of the rest of the day. 

So, I was terrified when I got to work on Monday and not only was my charge almost fully gone after being on the charger all night, but also I wasn’t getting emails. I thought I was walking into a peaceful morning in the 2^nd week of my new gig.  Wrong!  Wrong! Wrong!  I had like 28 emails before 9 a.m.  Then to make things worse my phone was running a temperature.  Seriously it was hotter than a two dollar pistol.  Then I plugged the phone in to charge and I swear on the charger with the lightning bolt showing it went from 5% charge to 3%. Tell me in what dimension does that actually happen? 

My phone is a work phone.  So, I engage IT for support.  After 5 hours of talking about potential fixes and trying to delete and add email accounts I found myself rebooting my phone.  A hard reboot and still nothing is working.  By this point I was starting to get hulk like angry.  I found myself actually saying I couldn’t possibly function without my phone.  That is was my life line.  Gabe told me I was acting like a teenage girl and the VP of American sales said the same thing.  Finally, I just turned off the email and kept charging the phone.  The next day went through more of same crap.  Until finally the executive admin for the company marched me over to IT and made me tell them to fix it, because I needed my phone. 

However, what I had started to realize is that I actually like not being connected all the time.  I like the fact that I could bounce in and check Facebook ever few minutes.  I liked not having hangouts pop up every few minutes.  I liked the simple life of not being constantly on the go.

When IT brought me my phone back my simplicity lasted for a while longer.  For the next 28 hours I lived with a phone which I only got work email, and texts from people who initiated them.  One down side of the phone going to the apple store is that I came back with no contacts (YES I have lost everyone’s contacts at least for the time being).  That is ok.  The people who want to get a hold of me will.  The others well, I still have a list of contacts in google, I guess. 

So after 24 hours I reload my information from the cloud.  Everything seems to be working fine.  Why not try and load my work email.  I will be fucking damned if the same thing doesn’t happen again.  The running hot, hot, hot, and all the other shenanigans.  So, I said fuck, I am going simple again. So I rebooted it again, and again I lost everything. 

I think the point is that I have realized I don’t want to be tied to my phone.  I love my new job. I think I am going to be really successful and awesome at it.  However, I want more out of life than the grind of a job.  I want to be peaceful and at peace.  I want to write and tell my story.  I want to win my war.   Look, I never want to be like the cunt on the elevator who just got off on the third floor!  I mean not only was she Face-booking that she was waiting in elevator, but practiced terrible elevator etiquette getting onto the elevator.  Then instead of being polite and holding the doors she was glued to her phone the entire time. l and I got slammed with the doors. Then she leans up against the wall and continues to check status all the way up.  I don't give a shit how nice her ass is, don't be so fucking rude!  I don't want to continue to be glued to my phone.  However right now I am.  Not as bad as her though.

So I have decided no matter what happens, Facebook not going back on the phone.  Facebook messenger not going back on the phone.  Hang-outs are not going on the phone.  Blogger going back on the phone because we all know a blogging Billy b is a happy Billy b.  I need to compromise my lifestyle.  I think it is time. 

I am really working hard with Sue to no longer need the external validation of who I am.  I am pretty awesome the way I am, but I want to be better.  I need to be better.  I see my live and I see it coming into place… Long days and Pleasant Nights!