Have not had much
time to Blog this week, year-end, I
think I have bloggers block, is that a thing?
I probably won’t be on here much the rest of this year, if at all. Between
the cold, the job, and everything else, you just run out of time. The war rages on. How did Axl once say it? “But still the wars
go on and the years go by; With no love of God or human rights; 'Cause all
these dreams are swept aside; By bloody hands of the hypnotized; Who carry the
cross of homicide;
And history bears the scars of our civil wars” We are losing more battles lately than winning, but we will keep the fight burning.
And history bears the scars of our civil wars” We are losing more battles lately than winning, but we will keep the fight burning.
If you don’t hear from me or hear nothing new, b/c I
might be posting some old things I have written over the years, please have a
wonderful holiday season. Travel
safe! Enjoy friends and Family, and
Live!!!! Just Live!!!! Happy Holidays Everyone!!! - billy b –
Funny how often I have been at these Cross Roads J
Cross Roads...
01/16/00
I stand at a crossroads. Unsure how to proceed. Behind me I leave a legacy, a life many would be envious of, one filled with good family, good grades, good job, and of course good friends. However I come to the crossroads weary, tattered, I feel as if with all of my accomplishments, that so much has been left unfulfilled. Never have I tasted the love of a women, never have I had the joy of being able to get up in the morning and looking in the mirror and seeing the person I want to be, a thin man who has confidence in the road he is walking. I feel no sense of accomplishment, I feel ashamed, almost defeated and I stand at the crossroads of life.
I am not going to lie; I am a twenty-four-year-old dreamer that moved to California, not only for the beautiful beaches, and a great job, but also to chase the dream. Chase the one thing that my whole life I have wanted, not to be thin, or in love. Although these thing are high on the list, and I have done nothing but fail at both of them. But to write, just to be able to tell a story, and have people listen and say, damn that guy is deep. To talk and have other listen, to say what is in the heart and to share that with the masses, this is the dream I desire to chase.
The chase unfortunately comes down to a few random emails, from different points of view, one the dreamer in me, talking of the kid and his struggles in life. How he wishes to talk to beautiful girls, and work out and make himself better. The other a bitter man who is tired of the bullshit and who is a straight shooter and tells what he feels, explains his experiences in a tone only a few can appreciate and others scorn for his foul language and lack of respect.
Yes, of course there has been a chapter here and one there and then the thoughts. Oh the thoughts, that haunt me all day long, the ones I talk to myself about in the car. Playing the parts tweaking the dialogue, making the story come to life in my mind. The thoughts that roll around in my head like a bb in a coffee can. They are so powerful and always there, if only I could is down and share them. Put them into words so that others may enjoy a story from a person who wishes to be deemed someday as the ..Storyteller...
I used to believe that we all had a story to tell. I look at the human race and feel badly. I think as a society we are to fucking concerned with what we are supposed to be and how we are supposed to act that we forget who we are. We become complacent, we become robots, slave to the machine if you will, we get up everyday and we go to our jobs, and come home mate, if we are lucky, and then do the same thing over and over again. Of course some how we find the time to bitch about what is wrong with the world and how ruff we all have it. We never take time to appreciate life. We never make the time to appreciate that we are and how lucky we are to be alive.
Now I think we all share the same story, work, live, and die. So, I stand at a crossroads of life, and I wonder do I stay along the same path, get up go to work, come home, and die or I continue to the chase.
I am starting to feel like I will never change the world. That I will just slip into the routine of life and be complacent with my place. Then one day I will die and wish I would of done all the things I am capable of, instead of standing at a crossroad and watching it all go bye.
Just thoughts.
Billy B
01/16/00
I stand at a crossroads. Unsure how to proceed. Behind me I leave a legacy, a life many would be envious of, one filled with good family, good grades, good job, and of course good friends. However I come to the crossroads weary, tattered, I feel as if with all of my accomplishments, that so much has been left unfulfilled. Never have I tasted the love of a women, never have I had the joy of being able to get up in the morning and looking in the mirror and seeing the person I want to be, a thin man who has confidence in the road he is walking. I feel no sense of accomplishment, I feel ashamed, almost defeated and I stand at the crossroads of life.
I am not going to lie; I am a twenty-four-year-old dreamer that moved to California, not only for the beautiful beaches, and a great job, but also to chase the dream. Chase the one thing that my whole life I have wanted, not to be thin, or in love. Although these thing are high on the list, and I have done nothing but fail at both of them. But to write, just to be able to tell a story, and have people listen and say, damn that guy is deep. To talk and have other listen, to say what is in the heart and to share that with the masses, this is the dream I desire to chase.
The chase unfortunately comes down to a few random emails, from different points of view, one the dreamer in me, talking of the kid and his struggles in life. How he wishes to talk to beautiful girls, and work out and make himself better. The other a bitter man who is tired of the bullshit and who is a straight shooter and tells what he feels, explains his experiences in a tone only a few can appreciate and others scorn for his foul language and lack of respect.
Yes, of course there has been a chapter here and one there and then the thoughts. Oh the thoughts, that haunt me all day long, the ones I talk to myself about in the car. Playing the parts tweaking the dialogue, making the story come to life in my mind. The thoughts that roll around in my head like a bb in a coffee can. They are so powerful and always there, if only I could is down and share them. Put them into words so that others may enjoy a story from a person who wishes to be deemed someday as the ..Storyteller...
I used to believe that we all had a story to tell. I look at the human race and feel badly. I think as a society we are to fucking concerned with what we are supposed to be and how we are supposed to act that we forget who we are. We become complacent, we become robots, slave to the machine if you will, we get up everyday and we go to our jobs, and come home mate, if we are lucky, and then do the same thing over and over again. Of course some how we find the time to bitch about what is wrong with the world and how ruff we all have it. We never take time to appreciate life. We never make the time to appreciate that we are and how lucky we are to be alive.
Now I think we all share the same story, work, live, and die. So, I stand at a crossroads of life, and I wonder do I stay along the same path, get up go to work, come home, and die or I continue to the chase.
I am starting to feel like I will never change the world. That I will just slip into the routine of life and be complacent with my place. Then one day I will die and wish I would of done all the things I am capable of, instead of standing at a crossroad and watching it all go bye.
Just thoughts.
Billy B
