An interesting fact I have learned is that if you are going to stop binge eating, you first must stop dieting. Mind blowing concept isn't it. I stopped dieting in September 2019, I started reading a book called Intuitive Eating and working with a dietician who didn't believe in diets and a therapist that supported Inutive Eating as well. It was magically having people telling you could have the bad food in the house.
Well, I suppose that there is real misconception there because there is not good or bad food after all there is only food. Sure some foods will have different impact on your body but in most things we put in our body there is some piece of nutritional value in it. I am not a scientist, I am not dietician so i could be wrong, but really what is important is to understand that we can eat whatever we want. We can be healthy at any size, and more importantly we don't have to be a prisoner and a slave to diets, ideal images, or any of that other bullshit in the modern world.
The best part of calling food, all food, just food is I no longer binge. I am not sure if anyone understands how huge of an accomplishment that is or not. I can drive home from work and not fit with myself the entire time on if I am going to stop at In and Out or not, because I am not. I don't struggle and notice McDonald's and want to got there each time I get off the exit to my house.
However, to sit here and say the last 9 months have been all shits and giggles would be to tell you a lie. As part of allowing all foods in my house, I started to buy things like breads, ice creams, and chips on the regular. I worked them into my every day diet. I think I had at least two Italian Ices (total 180 calories in both) each night for October, November, and December. It was controlled. I didn't get them both out and sit down at once and hog them down. It was not a binge but it was not good. Chips would last in my house 2 weeks after opening. That is amazing. It wasn't like I opened them and had to eat them all b/c I had to get them out of the house or my diet would be ruined. For Xmas dinner I ate chex mix, the candy kind that my mom had sent me, I ate that for dinner for like three nights in a row. It was poor choices but not a binge.
Maybe because of this, my age, or even family history in January my blood sugar went out of whack. I knew there was something not right with my body. I was tired all of the time. I had headaches. I just felt bad. I had my blood tested at the end of January, and the results were bad. My A1C was over 7 and the diagnosis I had dreaded became a reality. Was it the sugar? Was it the Hastings Blood? Was it some combination of both? Who knows. It doesn't really matter.
I have continued on the Intuitive Path and lost 30 pounds since my diagnosis. That's ok, but I struggle with portion sizes and control. I have good days and bad days, and the most fucked up thing I think I have learned is that it is about 95% mental.
The most important thing you can do for yourself to get your health right and back on track is to get your mind right. Give yourself self compassion and self love. It is also the hardest thing to do. Especially, if you have an inner voice that is negative and on your ass all the time. For 43 years I have talked to myself poorly. I am working really hard trying to change the inner dialog. Why else would I be going to a therapy session on a holiday? Same reason I have a life coach now. Same reason I don't let the office dictate my life anymore.
I still struggle... mostly with loneliness and boredom. I am working on answers for that. One thing is to pick blogging back up. That will be helpful. Stupid Blogger App doesn't exist anymore and that was my favorite. Anyway it doesn't matter, I have a new laptop that should help.
My currently plan on food is to use all tools I have on my tool belt. Find the ones I can work with the best. The number 1 being my therapy and my mind work. Fix the mind, the body will follow
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