Elevator Action

 

Elevator Action

“I want action tonight

Satisfaction all night

You've got the love I need tonight”

-          Poison, I want Action Tonight

When I came with the title to this blog, my mind raced back to sixth grade.  Me and my number 1 sweet sweet CK in the arcade with a pocket full of tokens.  I find this game that looks interesting to me.  Interesting because it has man he rides and elevator and gets off and shoots every mother fucker on the floor.  I was 12 and I thought games you got to shoot people in where cool.  The name of the game was “Elevator Action”.  It was 87 or 88 it was simpler time and yes, I thought the Game Elevator Action was cool.  To make things worse my buddy sees me playing the game and him being the funniest mother fucker I knew at the time proceeded to crack me up with the following song, “I want action tonight.  Satisfaction all right.  I want elevator action tonight.”  Again 12 people, I guess I used to be easily amused.  It was a simple play on a really bad Poison song.   None of this has anything to do with this blog, other than I stole the title from a video game. 

This handsome Rogue was in a contract management meeting, the product he had helped design.  The tool is slick, and it looks nice, and works as advertised, however, the people implementing at the Company are donkeys....  They turned a demo meeting into a requirements meeting and a project that should have been done and rolled out is now a disaster, delayed, and basically never going to get off the ground.  Apparently, assigning a proxy for your team doesn't mean shit, b/c come demo day everyone is going to come up with a new list of requirements... sometimes you just want to watch everyone burn.  I felt sorry for the two project leads. 

On his way to the elevator he gets an email from an old friend and was wondering what they had to say, but he has a meeting.  So, he should wait right.  He is getting on the elevator, so why not he won't be reading and walking.  After he had issues with that in the past didn’t he?  He did break his funny bone b/c he was walking and texting.  It was really bad juju.  So being on the elevator he could take time to read.  Couldn’t he?   

He gets on and turns around and the soda guy is getting on with him.  This dude is the biggest dude he thinks he has ever seen.  He is huge!  Like he is going to beat some serious ass huge.  There are few people the Rogue cowers from but this man was one of them.  He gets on says hi and pressing five.  Good same place I am going, I will stand here and read the email. 

So he goes to the corner of the evaluator and starts reading, he gets in grossed in the email.  It was a good communication from an old friend and he loses all track of time and space.   While he is reading,   the elevator door opens.  Then it closes.  He just keeps reading.  Then suddenly it hits him, the huge man who got on with him was gone.  Was he ever really there?  Yes, yes he was there.  So maybe he just didn't hit five?  No, no he is sure that he hit five.  However, our hero is standing in the elevator on five with the doors closed and he freaks out.  He starts punching the number five.  The doors don't open. he is stranded.  He tries again nothing.  He paces the elevator and tries again.  He is terrified of small places and he wants to get out of this box.  He hits five again and nothing.

He is stuck on the elevator b/c he was reading an email.  OMG the madness.  How long will he be here?  Who will find him?  What if the elevator breaks and plunges to his death.  He hits five again and again.  Stuck.  Stuck on the 5th floor of his office and he can't get out. 

Should he call someone?  No signal, damn it! 

What can he do?

He thinks, maybe I will try 4.  And soon as four lights up and the elevator start moving, he hits five.  He stops on four the doors open, and then close again.  He goes up to five and the doors open.  Oh thank the light the doors open.  He leaps off.  Saved!!!!