In threes

Bad vibes on this afternoon in SFO.  They say bad things often come in threes so I should have been prepared to have a rocky week after I burned up my smoker. I should have been even more sure of it when two nights later the puppy through no fault of her own tried to take my eye out.  Amazing how good that looks already.  So, I should have been prepared for something else to raise its head and sure enough it did.  

I was in a meeting on Wednesday afternoon and my shoulder started to hurt a little bit, so occasionally I would rub my arm and say fuck my shoulder hurts.  I thought very little of it.  I'm pulling and nicking myself up all the time.  I constantly have neck and shoulder pain.  I've come to accept them as part of being morbidly obese and sleeping funny on my pillows and my arms.  I do normally sleep with my right arm pinned underneath me and my face planted straight down into the pillow.  

So when the pain came I rubbed it away. I after all give a very good rub down even to myself, um does that sound as awkward as it did when I typed it?

Anywho... It just annoyed me the rest of the day. So when I left work early on Wednesday at around 5:30 I was really thinking of my shoulder.

However that quickly changed once I was in the car and heading to San Jose at top speed, which in my car seems to be 65, well at least that is my most efficient speed. 

And ever since my return from home earlier in the fall all I do in the car is listen to sports radio.  Maybe it is playing in a fantasy football league.  Maybe it is spending time with Dad maybe me remember how much I loved sports talk and how back in the day I was a complete stat book especially full of baseball worthless knowledge. So ever since visiting the DOC I've been listening to ESPN radio and fox sports and any other sports radio I can get on XM.  

I flip thru the stations bc I still hate commercials and my fingers have become very familiar with the buttons of seek and scan.  

However on Wednesday night I was shocked that every time I went to change the station a sharp pain would rip through my right shoulder and neck.  The little pains from earlier had gotten worse since leaving.  However my discomfort had only begun.

By the time I got to the house in San Jose I couldn't lift my arm above my head.  I could almost get it up (hahaha) but not quite.  

So for the 3rd time in four days I debated calling 911.  The reason being they say if your are having a stroke (which I am at risk of) you can't raise your arms.  I couldn't raise my arm and I started to panic.  

Not only couldn't I raise my arm at this point it started to throb.  I was sittin g there trying to watch episode 1 and I couldn't enjoy it even though I fast forwarded thru the pod racing.  It was more of my arm killing me than the quality of the prequel.  So right before a duel of fates and hobble into my room puppy in tow.  

I lubbed my arm up with Ben-gay.  The. I took three Tylenol and headed for bed.  I couldn't lay in my side.  I couldn't lay on my stomach which is my comfort position.  So I laid on my back and I laid there and whimpered like a bitch.  

My arm killed me.  Really it did.  I couldn't get into a comfortable sport, no matter what I did.  And yes I was whimpering and every time I did Puppy would lay her head on me to try and make me feel better. 

Finally and I have no idea why I did this other than I keep my house ice cold, I got up and out on my black sith robe and went hood up and got back in bed.  The I took my right and and forced it through my robes belt and then tied my arm to my chest.  I have no idea why I did this.  But there I was in my bed with my arm tied to my tummy and this was the only place it felt ok.  

I think now I realized I had to tie it there bc my belly is so big that my resting arm won't stay on it easily.  However tied there it couldn't move.  And although this was painless it was the best I could do.  I also downed three more Tylenol but they never really helped.  Over the next 7.5 hours I was in and out of what I can only describe as a fever like sleep, bc I can't sleep on my back.  So I couldn't stay asleep.  My rest was shit to say the least.

First thing on Thursday morning I was at my therapists office asking for help!  My shoulder was in complete trauma.  The muscles in spasm and the joint inflamed.

We did a lot of pushing and pulling and moving this was and that and slowly and surely the shoulder started to loosen up.  Movement returned! Not pain free movement, but movement none the less.

We even did a little laser treatment.  No idea what it does but it felt good.  Really good!  

By the time I got to the office I was feeling much better.  Much much better!

And thru the day the pain kept reducing and reducing. I almost had full use by the time I got home.  

I went for another treatment first thing this am and at time of this writing I'm about 75% there is still pain lifting it over head and general soreness but I'll live and I'm on the mend.

Oh shit forgot about the picture up top.  That is me using a bag of frozen spinach to ice my shoulder.  I forgot the only thing that made my arm hurt less was to ice it. So I used like four ice packs through the night.  When I got up I was down to frozen blueberries and spinach.  I thought spinach could be helpful!

What I still have no answer for is what the hell happened to my arm. 

Was shiner bad on the leash, a little on Wednesday morning she pulled more than normal.

Did I hurt it when I grabbed her toy and pulled her around and she punched me in my eye?

Was is sleep if on it?

I don't know.  I really don't... I'm just glad the pain is going away.  

However last night sleep was poor again.  Tried to sleep on my back but that didn't work so I ended up sleeping on my left shoulder and even some on my tum.  

So I'm sitting here in SFO full of bad vibes.. 

I can't say if I'm depressed?  I'd expected a lot different four weeks than what I had over the last month.  Is it the world? I mean at every turn something else fucked is going on!  Hotel shooting, terrorism, fires in my back yard, cuts, and bad shoulders so who the fuck knows.  I'm just not feeling like me right now and I can't explain it.  I think I'm probably just sleepy, when I'm sleepy I get sad and grumpy.  Oh well I'll rest well tonight.  I always seem to on Friday's.