Matters of the Gut II: Saxenda or at-a-enda?

18 days in a row I injected myself with Saxenda.  In that time, I lost 10 pounds.  Anyone can see that is good math.  Over the last 7 days I really started to see a difference.  Last week was arguably one of the hardest of my life.  I can't really go into it because not all of it is my tale to spin and I have to respect that.  I got it from all aspects of my life home, personal, professional, etc... However, not once last week did I use.  Not once last week did I over eat.  Food seemingly become what it should have always been to me a means to survive.  I worked out.  I walked.  I lost 6 pounds last week. I have to think a lot of that was due to the drug.  So, I can't even begin to tell you how upset I was when I found out my insurance would not cover Saxenda.  However I was even more disappointed when I found out that if I wanted to buy it myself it would be $1,200 per month.  Yes, to do a year of Saxenda without insurance would cost me $14K per year (A flexible spending account won't even cover that).  I tried to sign up for Saxenda discount card but it only works if your primary insurance will cover it.  When I called the insurance company it turns out they just don't cover weight loss drugs on my program.  So, I was total down when the doctor said go to your pharmacy and ask them if Qsymia would interact with any of your meds.  I was disappointed how quickly the doctor would just switch from one med to another. It was a bigger bummer when I talked to the pharmacist and she said as long as I am on my BP meds, I can't take Qsymia.  I am not sure there is any other alternatives for me medication wise.  Not only is my BP an issue but my issues with depression and anxiety also limit what drugs I can take.  There is an outside chance that coverage might achieved, my company is trying, so I am crossing my fingers, but I am not hopeful. 

So, inevitably the question becomes what is next?  I am a confused fatman to tell you the truth, because I don't know what is next.  As much as I wan to say eating slow and drinking water was super helpful to the cause, I don't think it was what really carried the day.  I have been working really hard to make my meals smaller and stick to 1800 calories, but I do think the tag team partner of the injections really helped with that.  I could always pay out of pocket.  I'd have to make some sacrifices, and change some 401K and ESPP contributions but maybe could afford it? It would be tough, but perhaps I could? 

I have been off the med for two days now.  I have controlled my eating.  I have continued to eat slow and drink a ton of water.  It seems to be helping.  I have not been as hungry. I am eating slow.  I ate dinner slower than both Rachel and David on national cheeseburger day Friday.  I was very proud of myself. 

So, there is hope. I wouldn't be the first person to be successful on a 1800 calorie a day diet.  I am still make better food choices. 

I am going to give it a try to do it on my own.  I am going to cross my fingers and hope the insurance company can help me out.  However, if I can't keep up then we will have to re-access our options.

Well off to make my smoked bacon quiche....at 200 calories per slice it has been a clutch way to start the day!

Billy BuffMAN

It only took a month in an half if you count in the times since I was supposed to start working out with Chrissy, and 9 months if you measure it from the time we started in the new office the GYM.  However, today I finally made it into the gym to work out.

So, I finally brought all my stuff in so we could get going on the weights and you know what after no working out for two year, I really, really like it! 

The routine goes something like this.   Five different movements, with a warm up, stretching, and a cool down.  

I started with 15 minutes on the stationary bike.  I used the recumbent so that I didn't knee myself into the gut.  I won't lie it killed my left inner thigh. I don't know what you call that muscle.  However, it was painful, but I think it was because I didn't have the seat set correctly or maybe because I am a pussy, who knows.  

Then we started to get my Buff on!

We did a little Tricep Curl action at 7 reps each:

 

Then we went into me standing looking like a jackass... no, I think this was when me moved over to Curls.

Ah, yes we did Dumb Bell Bicep Curls 7 on each side:

Then a little Dumb Bell row action, again 7 to a set:

Then I got my bench press on.  The Key was to twist the arms in and really feel it in my chest and I did.  Again doing 7 reps each.  Chrissy was nice enough to coach me through each rep and make sure my form was spot on. 

Then I declared that I was god of all weights and that I declared myself BuffMAN!  No, no, I didn't or well I probably did but, actually I did shoulder press, doing 7 to  set.  This was the hardest for me, I think my shoulder was tight from sleeping on it wrong.  However, I got her done. 

After each movement, I did it again, two more times.  It was fun and I liked it.

then it was time to stretch.  I hate stretching but I know my body needs it so, I did several stretches most are very similar to what I do when I am walking.

then it was back for 5 more minutes on the recumbent bike.

it was a great session.  Then I showered, and I don't know why this happens to me every time I work out at work but soon as I finished showering I started to sweat like a piggy and I had to sit down in front of a fan for a half hour.

Oh ya, I forgot I walked a mile this a.m.  I am definitely BuffMAN!  =-)  I am shiner sitting so we had a little go this a.m.

This week is already better than last. I hit my 1800 calorie total.  I ate one burger for dinner last night, but I ate really slow and I was really full afterwards and that felt good.

So, we are rocking and rolling and year 3 at the buddy system is looking up already!!!!

The Buddy System turns 2 years old!

Somethings pass by quietly and you don’t give them a 2^nd thought.  Others pass and your mind is stuck on it, thinking always thinking about, it every thought bent on it, yet you have nothing to say about it.  That is how the Buddy Systems 2^nd birthday came and went.  I kept hoping that last Friday (Buddy Systems 2n Bday) I would have that aha moment in which I would have a very good entry to make.  The inspiration never came, to many other things going on distracting me.  

I am going into my third week on the Saxenda but there really is not story there.  Not yet, down four pounds but they are four pounds that we had lost before.  I also don’t think it makes much of a story to tell you about my newest morning ritual of getting up and stabbing a needle into my belly each morning.  That is well the start and the end of that story.  Does it partially amaze me that a man who is terrified of needles, now injections himself once a day? Sure it does.  

What else is there?  I could show you more and more stuff I am smoking.   Burgers, meat-loafs, turkey boobs, you name it I have smoked it or planning on smoking it.  However, that wasn’t really inspirational.

I can tell you that I have tried to eat an 1800 calorie a day diet for the last two weeks, but have failed miserably.  Some of that is stress, stress over things I can’t control.  Others is, see paragraph above, I have been smoking a lot of food.  The more I smoke the more good food I have.  However, I realize more than anything I am eating on an emotional level.  

There are all these things I could have said, but none of them seemed appropriate for the celebration of the Buddy System turning 2.  What I am writing here is a poor example of what this Blog has become to me and the importance it has in my life.  

For two years I have spun my tale.  For two years I have worked really hard to change my life.  I think we have done some really great things in that time.  Maybe we still have a long way to go, but sometimes getting up and getting going is the hardest part.  

Then again maybe the entire point of this blog is that things don’t have to be perfect.  Maybe it is ok not to have the right words all the time.  Maybe it is enough to know you are still going in the right direction that you are working very hard to change your life.  So maybe that is the point.  Maybe the point is we are a grinder and two years in we are still moving forward.  We have kept 30 pounds off for a year.  Each day we get a little bit better.

So Happy Birthday Buddy System, this year will be our best year ever!!

100 Days!

http://www.forbes.com/sites/scottmendelson/2015/09/08/for-star-wars-the-force-awakens-being-the-best-is-more-important-than-being-the-biggest/?utm_campaign=yahootix&partner=yahootix

I have literally been waiting 32 years for the movie that is coming out in 100 days. I remember the day I saw Return of the Jedi in theaters.  I remember sitting there fighting back tears hoping, praying, wishing, that Luke wouldn't go dark side.  Hell, I think I did actually cry at some point. 

Star Wars and I will always be forever intertwined with each other.  My first memories of life are the original Star Wars commercials on TV.  There were my early years in which I hated the name Billy b (i hear shocked gasps from readers every where) and wanted my name changed to Luke.  Anyone with the name Luke should have there ass kicked repeatedly I think now. Maybe it is because the one person I know named Luke is a douche?  Some say "Si", some Say "No". 

There is also the 13 times my younger brother and I saw Return of the Jedi in theaters.  Yes, 13 times.  Yes we were spoiled, but we also had a baby sitter who lived around the corner from a 1 dollar theater and this was 83 and it was summer and well there you go 13 times. 

And there was the playing of Return of the Jedi every day that summer.  Seeing the movie 13 times me and Ding had it memorized and we would replay it over and over and over again.  Those were good times. 

There is non-stop collecting of Star Wars items over the years.  I still have toys in my room to this day.  Stop it, not those kid of toys.  I have Darth, Maul and Vader bobble heads.  I have Yoda.  I have a build a bear my nieces got me Jedi style. The list goes on and on and on.... For the toys and for the star wars being a corner stone of my life. 

Sure there were the dark times.  The Prequels that could have destroyed the franchise.  You know the movies that Lucas contradicted himself over and over and thought he could justify a really bad decision by a brat. You know hey we don't have a story so lets just use a tone of effects, our fans are loyal they will keep coming back. We did, hoping to get a little peace of the magic from our childhoods.  The light saber fights in the prequels were awesome!  Obi-wan de-limbing Anakan was awesome!  The Emperor being the Emperor and knocking Yoda on his ass via force lightening, ya, awesome.  Even Darth Maul for his limited part was pretty cool if not under used.  However, the story was crap.  The acting was bad.  And how Obi-wan can't remember who R2 is is dumb.  Had the entire prequel series been like the first 20 minutes or so of Sith, we might be talking about some legendary stuff, but Lucas lost his way. 

Then there was the Black Friday teaser that came out last year.  I watched it probably 10 times that day, and 30 over that weekend. 

I will never forget when Gabe forwarded me the release of the 2nd trailer.  I came back to the office closed myself in a conference room and watched it over and over again.  I literally was bouncing in my chair like a child who could barely contain excitement.  Oh, I should say I was a child who couldn't contain excitement. 

So now here we are 100 days away from the release of The Force Awakens.  Being done by the man who made me a Star Trek fan, I will be honest, i hated that shit before JJ took it on.  Everything of his I have watched, I have liked.  Now, that isn't to say I have seen it all, b/c I have not.  However, I have high hopes.  1.  You have a light saber wielding masked villain who looks pretty cool.  2.  You have new characters and themes that hopefully finally take us away from Anakan and his fall from grace.  I think that dead horse has been beat enough.  3.  You have an entire galaxy as a canvas.  We are in UN-chattered territories.  So we have freedom to create new and awesome adventures.  

I am trying to stay away from spoilers and fan sites.  I have a plane ticket home to watch the movie with my little brother (Ding you better not fuck me like you did with Phantom Menace).  I am sure Logue will join us.  Maybe Burger will want to come too, haven't asked yet.  So really for me, there are 102 days until I see it now that I have thought about it.  hmmm... oh well... close enough for gov't work as they say. 

100 (or 102 if you are anal) and counting until Star Wars hits the big screen!!!!

Matters of the GUT: 1

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/william-anderson-ma-lmhc/what-is-saxenda-the-new-b_b_7103932.html


Endocrinologist:  Endocrinologists are specially trained physicians who diagnose diseases related to the glands. The diseases they are trained to treat often affect other parts of the body beyond glands. While primary care doctors know a lot about the human body, for diseases and conditions directly related to glands they will usually send a patient to an endocrinologist.  Some of the more common conditions treated by endocrinologists include:

• Menopause - Not an issue for me.
• Diabetes - It is a ship on the horizon. 
• Metabolic disorders - not sure.
• Lack of growth - not an issue.
• Osteoporosis - not an issue.
• Thyroid diseases - not an issue.
• Cancers of the endocrine glands - not an issue.
• Over- or under-production of hormones - low T-levels
• Cholesterol disorders - i have good cholesterol
• Hypertension - guilty
 

I went and saw my endocrinologist today.  I had never seen one before.  I had no idea what they did.  I only went because a doctor I trust very much (My Dad) and my primary told me I should go and get my stuff taken care of.  I am not even 40 yet and I should have low t-levels, but I do.  It is embarrassing to write that, but you know what, it is what it is. I don't feel any differently, it still works, I am just producing testosterone at a really low level.  My primary subscribed me some testosterone supplement but my levels wend down further.  So he sent me to this other Doctor.  

 I had no idea what to expect form this guy today.  They took my weight.  It was higher than I wanted.  Then again in tennis shoes which I think are actually a few pounds so that was ok.  Then the chick took my height.  Guess what, I had grown two inches. She said I was 6'1.  I was like fucking sweet.  Then I was like ahhh my shoes, so we did it again and I was about 6 foot, so hence forth bill burkle 6 foot bitches!  I always sold myself a little short, b/c i said I was 5'11.  Get it.. ha ha.

When i finally met with the doctor I was blown away.  He was awesome.  He might be one of the most positive people i have ever met.  He talked about how he was going to get me on the right path.  How my low t-levels were directly related to my weight.  B/c i am big I have too produce more and more insulin and that creates an issue in creating t-levels.  He said first thing we do is quit the androgel.  Done!  I didn't like the way it made me feel anyway.   

then he talked to me about my weight.  Look, Mamma didn't raise no dumby.  I know there was going to be a discussion about this.  I am the elephant sitting in the room after all.  I jest, but seriously I knew it was going to come up.  It always does.  I expected to be admonished.  Talked down too.  Even maybe a little bit humiliated.  However, it was not like that at all.  I told him about g-bypass and how I needed to loose 50 lbs and about how I had concerns about it.  He said he did too, especially if i am having issues with binge eating.  If I don't fix that, then aren't I really going to find another way to destroy myself.  I won't go into all the Freudian thoughts and symbolism of how eating and binding like I do and adding weight is just the worlds slowest and dumbest,  but maybe other than smoking cigarettes, effective way of  committing Harry Carry.  All I am really trying to say is if that part doesn't get fixed the mind will find another way to keep doing the job.  Booze, Cigarettes, Sweet Lady H, you get the picture.  the mind needs to be fixed.  then he said something that I damn near fell out of my chair.  He said, we are going to do!  I am going to help you and be your biggest cheerleader.  He said I am also the diabetic doctor and I don't want to treat you for that.  So, we are going to do this.   

He was like you are 6'1 you should eat... I stopped him and said doc until today I was always 5'11 and he was like we will stick with 6 foot and I am like 6 foot bitches. he basically said we were going to manager calories.  He also ask if I would be open to taking a weight loss medication.  I said well, why not.  Look, I am at the point where something isn't working.  Something in the mind keeps going for the binge.  I am doing 80% good but the 10% bad is really bad and that 20% bad is stopping from loosing.  Looking I have kept 30 lbs off for almost a year, that is great.  The other twenty bounce on and off, on and off.  This guy got that.  We talked of it.  He said, don't deprive yourself of anything, just do less of it.  Get a partner in crime and do less of it, split it.  Make everything smaller.  

He said look at me.  I am small.  He is tiny.  I wear a small clothes.  He said you know what I get when I go to the store?  I get a small.  When I go to the starbucks, I get a small. I eat ice cream, I eat a scope.  It registered in me.  I don't eat a scope.  I eat the whole fucking thing.  i get a large everything.  

Anyway the mindset was so different from any doctor I have seen, that I was daring to believe in him.  I wanted to believe in him.  His charisma was intoxicating.  I can't do it justice here.  I just can't.  so when he asked me again about taking a medicine for my weight issue, i said yes without hesitation.  I think he could have given me anything at that point and I would have done it.  I just really appreciated his style and his caring.  His willingness to want to help me.  His want as bad as my to keep the Type II diabetes away. 

However as much as I wanted to believe in him, I was also scared a little bit.  Because isn't necessarily a supporter of the paleo arts or the whole food agenda.  I am not saying he is against them.  He is just all about portion control, calories, and change in mind set.  

I love paleo. I love cooking.  I love trying to live the clean sugar free life.  I love working with Chrissy at Reset, she is awesome!  So, my mind was splitting as he kept talking. I was in engaged by his charisma but also, feeling like a traitor.  Plus does taking a medicine to help induce weight loss make me a cheater?  Does it really matter? 

Anyway, he gave me the medicine, but I almost shit myself when he told me it was applied via injection to the stomach.  did this man not understand that I didn't play that shit.  Needles were my enemy and we hates them. I would rather make out with a spider and let them run up and down my back then I would want a needle near me.   However, maybe this is the aha moment.  Maybe this is the time and the place to stop floundering and thinking my way will work.  So, I learned how to use the applicator and I injected myself with it without really thinking.  Because maybe this is my last option.  My last road.  

Then I came home and spent most of the day in reflection.  Thinking what is it bill you want to do and how do you want to do it.  I want to avoid Type II.  I want to get better and maybe the doctor and Reset can both be on my team.  I can still eat on a calorie limit and eat real food.  I can still learn and grow.   Btw the name of the med is above and is pictured.  Also put an article in about it.  We will see how it goes.  How it works. 

So a new door opened today.  One that I am going to walk through.  The calorie restrictions are tight but that medication is suppose to help with that.  So, I am excited about that.  

The one thing the doctor did say that has me still pondering is, he advised against the half marathon.  He said at my size the pounding on my knees weren't worth it.  That if I kept going up in mileage I might find myself needing replacements.  He was not anti walking, or swimming, he just said that might be a bit to much.  And that is hard for me to wrap my mind around.  I ask myself if I have gone in with this guy and actually started sticking a needle into my tummy then perhaps I should listen about this too.  I don't know.  Not sure what to do about this one.   

So I still have a lot of pondering to do.  

No matter what September 3rd is a big day in my life it another new beginning!  That is the great thing about life, every day is a new beginning.  Time to get busy!  Time to move the ship forward.  Time to be the man who I was born to be....

 

 

 

 

And the Tower is Closer!!!!