In the airport, and it's the least favorite place to be. Not just because of the under reason and that is my fear of flying. The truth is I'm not a fan of flight, but that is neither here or there.
Certainly, this fear isn't being named the Godfather for my two darling Goddaughters. That ship sailed a long time ago. I'm excited and proud to be their Godfather. So it's not that.
The fear isn't related to seeing my family for the first in 16 months is it? No, although I'm not as far along as I wanted to be, I'm better than the last time I am home. I've changed. I feel more in control than ever.
I think the fear is simply the fear of being in my routine or in my house where I have gained total control over what goes into my body. I lose control when I'm not there. I can't just hold out till I get home where everything is Paleo.
Hawaii I failed! I failed after Hawaii. I'm scared to fail again. I've put on a few pounds since hawaii! But 5lbs isn't end of the world. I have to suck it up Bc I can't hide for ever. I have to step it up! I have to be better! I can be better. I will be better. Getting on tack means getting better. I'm better! I'm better everyday! I've eaten a salad every day for the last two weeks, and that is better. All we can ask is to get a little better each day.
Fear is a trick the mind plays on us. Fear of failure is weakness begging to be acknowledged, well I do t acknowledge you! I choose to succeed. I choose to make good decisions. I choose to be successful on this trip and the one in two weeks.
I will do this! I can do this! I am doing this!
My KA is with me and my tower is always getting closer!
So now is time to rejoice and be excited to see the little ones and family. It's time to take some personal time and breath and get back into perspective. A successful trip to Chicago means building a successful road map for Vegas and the rest will just fall into place.
KA is my ally and The Tower is closer!!
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