The Girl out the Window…
He was calm and collected.
He was in his element, talking about his trade, his work, his dorky
passion. He looked at clean cut finger
nails and could not remember the last time he had bitten them. He used to eat his nails. There was the one time he had completely bitten
the thumb nail off. That though was
another time and in another life.
Person after person came into the little conference
room. Person after person sat down and
gave their spiel. They wanted to find a
break in his armor. They asked questions
from all angels. They gave him
warnings. They tested him and his
knowledge again and again.
He sat there in his sports coat and khakis with a sly type
smile on his bearded face. He folded his
hands with his unbitten nails in front of.
He took their badgering with his sly smile, and gave off a heir of
confidence not smugness. No, this was
his element. Of all the things he did
well talking about him was one of the best.
He had a gift for weaving stories that were untrue. His creativity was both his gift and his
curse. It was a gift because he had
longed to use it and make his living from it.
However, he was terrified to because what is no one liked it? However things were different when he was
talking about himself and he had lived through the events. In those situations he became the maestro. He would weave the words like a conductor
would weave notes of an orchestra to form a beautiful melody.
Writing or talking it made little difference to him. Once he got started he could go on and on
without stopping or without pause. He
would weave together a tail that you wanted to listen too. You wanted where happy when he started and
you didn’t want him to end, it left you always wanting a little bit more. Here
in this room. It was no different, jus0t
a different canvas for him to work on.
He was doing well. He
knew he was doing well. When it came to
his craft he knew his business well. He
would say few new it better. He had made
is a study in excellence. At once point
his minded wanted more knowledge than anyone else could have and he went out
and acquired it. That like the nail biting
had been another life. Now he considered
himself in the rare class of expert. Was
it Caesar who said I came I saw I conquered?
Well wasn’t it actually “Veni, vidi, vici”? He couldn’t tell but he had done just
that.
His mind would race in these mini palavers. Although this was his element, that didn’t
mean he wanted to be right here right now.
Being present even in your own life was always hard for him. He was a dreamer. His mind wandered even when he needed it to
be most focused. That is what happens
when you are the creator of worlds and speaker of tales. However, he knew the stories well enough and
what he had done well enough that he didn’t always have to be entirely
present. Not unless something tripped
him up and today was going to well for that.
Calm, he was by definition just that. His heart which sometimes beat to its own rhythm
no matter what was going on was in alignment.
It was calm. He the one his coach
had once told he sweated the second most of anyone she knew, had not sweat
today, because it was unwarranted and unneeded, because he was in control. It was after all his game now. It was the element of tale spinning and he
was a master.
His full attention came back as this part of the interrogation
appeared to be over. Having been taught
manners from a very early age and not matter what the situation was he stood up
and offered his hand as the person excited the room. They made offers to make him more comfortable
but he assured them he was right as rain, because after all he was.
He chose not to sit immediately down after he saw them
out. He instead wanted to stretch his
legs and he paced up and down the line of windows he had chosen to sit in front
of. Truthfully he was looking at
everything that was out there and nothing.
It was a chilly spring day in California and he saw clouds rolling in,
he doubted there would be rain, rain was a rarity in California these
days.
He studied the building across the street. It was just a building. However it held his attention but just for a
moment. The next person was coming in
and he turned from the window and extended his hand and sat down.
One meeting was much like the other. The conversation rolled on and the tales were
spun. Each question was answered with
the same zeal and passion. The smile
that said I am so interested and not too cocky hung on his face, but when his
mind did it’s ever present doubling this time it was not a new world, or race
but the building that loomed now behind him.
The building was thought like so many others that just got
stuck in his mind. He couldn’t get rid
of it if he wanted too. It mattered little his game was still at “A”
level. He answered the questions with
well weaved tails. He probably talked too
much, but he cared little because what he would spew was pure gold and he knew
it. This after was his arena.
Again his mind gathered as the conversation came to an
end. He stood and he shook hands and
said pleasantries and did the dance of a well behaved man. He sad back in his chair with a bigger grin
than the one he normally wore. He felt
good. He wasn’t the same man he had once
been. He laughed a little to himself and
said to the empty room that he was defiantly on his game and one more of these
and he would be completely in the driver’s seat.
He sat back in his chair and did a half spin and glanced to
his left out the window. He ran his
hands through his long hair while his eyes scanned their cool graceful
scan. As always they were seeing
everything and nothing once again. Then
they stopped gliding to the right and shot back to the left. He almost started to panic because he could
no longer feel his heart beating. Had he
looked down he would have realized it was gone because he had lost it.
He wanted to stand up and walk to the window and stare like
a goof. He couldn’t stand because his
knees were too weak. His usually
powerful sturdy legs felt like Jell-O and he could not move them even though he
commanded them too to even move forward in his chair.
He was not sure if the grin on his face could get any bigger
but somehow he felt it grow on his face.
He wanted to lean forward but his body was no longer his own. He just stared out the window and across the
street. He wondered if what he was
looking at was real or if some mad vision brought on from one of his other
worlds. He knew at once it was not. He knew he was not looking at angel or a
demon. No he was just looking at a girl
out the window.
Just a girl wasn’t a fair way for his mind to put it though
was it? She was not just a girl. No she was a beautiful woman his eyes couldn’t
take in enough of. A car passed and he
hated it for blocking his view of her. However
it passed and there she stood and he felt his heart again but now it was
racing. It was the conga and he the rhythm
was fast and damn near out of control. He
felt a stir in his groan. A sense of
lust and longing washing over him and his mind went from calm and clear to
absolute mush.
She stood there with her dark hair blowing in the wind. It didn’t seem to bother her it was in her
face. Her face wore a frown, but not because
she was sad but because her face just naturally went into what appeared to be a
frown. He didn’t get the sense from her that she was melancholy just out
walking with a place to go. The wind
stopped moving and he could see her brown eyes and they were kind and
inviting.
She waited there on the other side of the street. She wore a pink shirt and wrapped in a gray
sweater. Her arms were crossed under her
ample breasts. What she was waiting on
he couldn’t say. Then another car passed
and she started to move forward. He saw
that her shoes were brown and looked soft and comfortable. She crossed the street and poof just like
that walked out of his life much like she had just walked into it inadvertently
and without ever knowing.
He almost jumped out of his chair when someone spoke to him
from behind. It was the last caller of
the day. But instead of standing at
attention and walking towards them to great them, he looked back to the window longing
to see her just one more time. When he realized there was no such luck. He turned and shuffled towards the man and
his outstretched hand.
He sat and for the first time his mind didn’t split. It didn’t split because it couldn’t because his
entire focus was on the girl he had seen out the window. He had to pull hard in his mind to try and
regain some focus. He mustard all he could. He tried to weave tales and orchestrate but
his mind just kept going back to the vision in gray and pink out the
window.
The next half hour moved like molasses. He tripped and fumbled over his own
words. He told and retold the same
stories. He couldn’t find that calm,
semi-arrogant person he had just been.
He couldn’t do it because he was infatuated with that beautiful girl,
that passed by and he glimpsed out the window.
His last meeting ended and he couldn’t get out of there fast
enough. He left the building and moved
as quickly as he could to the street she had crossed. He wanted to see if he
could see her again. He rounded the
corner and there she was. She was
crossing the street with two others. He
wanted to call out to her. He wanted to scream
hello. He opened his mouth and nothing
came out. For once in his life he was
completely and utterly without words.
He watched her walk away.
He turned and put his left hand into his pocket. His right went to his mouth and he started to use his teeth to pick at them while he looked at his feet as he
walked away. His mind still stuck on the
image of beauty in the window. Wondering
why nothing would come out, why the man who could weave such wonderful tales
couldn’t find the right words to say to make her stop or even come back. He glanced over his shoulder a couple of
times. Hopefully he would catch another glimpse. That he would just get to see her one more
time. It was as if she had vanished
though and walked out of his life forever.
