Billy b looks at 41...

Billy b looks at 41…

I don’t know where forty went.  It was a blink of the eye.  It was here then it was gone.  I can’t say forty was bad.  However, I can’t really say it was good either.  Forty was just forty.  I failed to have that life altering aha moment.  You know the magic movie moment when you are faced with the opportunity to be great and you rallied by those around you and stand up and do just that “be great”!  I also think I realized that moment is never going to come.  The light switch will never just turn one day and I will wake up and not want to eat three double cheeseburgers.   That you are going to wake up every day and feel great about yourself and what you are doing with your life.  Those things just don’t happen.  They take work.  The road ahead of me to get back to where I was just 3 years ago is long and very hard.  The road ahead that appears less and less likely.  However, I don’t know how to quit.  It doesn’t matter how many times I fall down, I get back.  It doesn’t matter how many attempts I make and get ignored, or go down in flames, I just keep making them.  I am if nothing else resilient in my pursuit of what I want and my dreams.   In two days I make a daring move that I truly do believe will star to give me my life back.  It is just the first step in a much longer road.  On Thursday a new journey begins as I pack my house in San Jose, a place that I thought I would stay at for a long time, and move to the Tri-Valley.  My birthday gift to myself today is going to see my house completely painted and floored for the first time.  That is a pretty good gift.  Then tomorrow it will be cleaned and Thursday afternoon I will be in and that is pretty exciting!  So a new house equal a new life?  Maybe?  I think the one thing I have to keep focusing on in my 41^st year is learning life isn’t all or nothing.   So a new life is probably a bit of an overstatement.  I am just going to make the life I have even better.  The road I travel is long, some of it will be dark but much more of it will be light.  Each day I will try to just get a little bit better than before.  I know a few things.  41will be greater than 40.  Less time in the car because my home is closer means more time for my life.  So, in year 41 the revolution will continue.  Tweaks will be made.  Movement will happen more and more often.  A return to the pool and masters swim is on the horizon.  Also we can’t forget about puppy.  There will be a puppy before the end of 2016.  That much I have decided.  A new big house, needs a new friend and roomie.  I think it will be very good for me to have to take care of something more than myself.  Plus two walks a day won’t kill me.  Or god let’s hope I haven’t fallen that far just yet.  No more looking back, only looking ahead to the New Year!  The 41^st.  I got a feeling that it is going to be a great year and I am so very excited about that!