Three Day weekends and the Rise of the Cooler workouts!!!

Three Day weekends and the Rise of the Cooler workouts!!!

Would you believe if I told you I was actually on a four 3.5 day weekend right now?  Yes it is true.  I have I took a half day Friday.  It was marvelous.  I got to the pool for much needed backstroke workout, followed by 20 plus minutes of in pool flexibility work you know just your walking forward and backwards, high knees, side step, butt kickers, and fart licks.  Ask me about the last one sometime and I will tell you about it.  That was followed up with one of the best massages I have ever had.  Warm Touch Massage and Inti really knock it out of the ball park.   It is like when I used to see Manny for massages, a love hate relationship, love because of the relief I am getting, hate because some times to get that relief you have to have your ass kicked a little bit.  Now that is just about a perfect day off and I want more of them.

The truth is really this has been my third long weekend in a row.  Yes, yes one of those was working from home and the morning was really busy, and I had calls in the afternoon but working from home isn’t so bad.  Kona monkey was at day care and I was able to get to the pool early, which was nice.  Plus it allowed me to sleep in bit which after having 7 a.m. calls multiple times during the week is needed.  The next week I just decided I wanted Friday off, it was the first time in I don’t know how long I didn’t have a call with Big Brother.  Big Brother is what I have come to call them b/c it feels like they are always watching.  I had seen Deadpool 2 the night the before (loved it!!) and I wanted to sleep in, so I got up at 7:40 took Kona to day care, came back, had a personal call from 8 – 9 and then I went back to bed till noon.   I can’t remember the last time I had slept till noon.  It was fantastic.  I loved it!  Then I went to the pool spent an hour and half in the water and then went and met Inti for the first time and really got my ass kicked.

So I have been pretty spoiled the last few weeks and I love it.  I am starting to think man was not meant to work 5 days a week.  I think four is plenty.  Then again work and I, and how I want to do it is a completely different conversation for a different day.  One we don’t want to go into right this second. I don’t have the time and or energy to go into it right now, and I really am not sure I want to share that publically yet.  Let’s just say if at 42 I am having a mid-life crisis it is, well, leaving it alone. 

The next few weeks are going to be hard, when I have to go back to working five days a week.  Ugh.  The thought of it just sickens me.  Oh wait, I only have to work four days this week!!! Whoot! Whoot!  How exciting.  Well after that it is going to suck balls, until we hit July 4^th weekend and I get not 1, not 2, not 3, not 4 but a 5 day weekend!!  That is going to kick ass!

Something interesting happened last Sunday.  I was sitting out with Kona in the back yard and sunning myself.  I love sitting in the sun.  Tanning my body is one of my favorite past times.  I put it up there with grilling, writing, and the like.  I love the feel of the sun on my skin.  Since I have started adding podcasts to my routine it has become even better. 

I will admit though, tanning can be a bit boring.  Sitting outside with Kona can be a bit boring.  It’s not like she wants to go out there and play.  No, she wants to go out there and lie down and chew at the grass.  She is like a god damn Billy goat that one her grass grazing.  After a year of doing this a few weeks ago I broke down and bought a lawn chair and a table for the back yard.  I made sure they were portable b/c they come in after every use, b/c I am not gonna let the spiders get them.  Stupid spiders and there nonstop spinning webs on everything in the back yard.  God I hate spiders.  Plus a lawn chair will be a lot more comfortable than what I have sat on for the last year and a half. 

A cooler, a big igloo cooler, a blue one with a white top is what I have sat on for the last year and a half.  It’s true.     I have lawn chairs out back, but they are covered with cobwebs and when I clean them off the next day they are re-spun.  Plus, I am fat, and well I am 99% sure that If I sit in one of the chairs left behind for me from the previous owner, it is gonna break in half.  I just don’t trust the design. 

So about a year ago, I bought my own chairs.  You know those camping like chairs.  The ones that fold up and you put in a little bag.  I got them to support my weight.  I had some before and I loved them.   Well the ones I bought must have been for Ents or Giants or something really tall.  Whenever I sat down in them my feet wouldn’t touch the ground and the chair would cut into the back of my legs.    So I said fuck it.  I will just sit on the igloo cooler and for a year and a half it worked.  However, two or three weeks ago my back started to hurt and I wondered if it was not from sitting on this cooler with no good poster for multiple hours on multiple weekends.  So I gave in and bought me a nice lawn chair.  It is beautiful.  It is comfortable too.  It just got here this week and I gave it a test drive yesterday, loved it.  Burnt my tummy but that is ok. 

Anyway last weekend on Sunday, I was feeling a little guilty I hadn’t left the house.  Now, let’s remember I spent last Sunday cooking chili and tacos so it was not as if I did nothing.  I also did all my laundry as well.  However, I just hadn’t left the house to go to the pool.  It wasn’t on the schedule.  However, I still felt like I should get a work out in?  No.  That wasn’t right; I wanted to get a workout in.

So, I said why not.  If you want to do some movement what is stopping you.  So, sitting on my trusty cooler I decided to stand up and sit down 12 times.  Look for a fatty like me sitting down and standing up isn’t an easy feat.  Then I sat back down I did ten raises of my arm straight out to my shoulders, making a t shape.  Next I did twelve shoulder thingies where I pulled my shoulders to my ears, then twelve arm curls, then twelve shoulder presses, then twelve dumb bell like lifts where I pulled out in front of me (dumbbell raises?).  I did this three times each and it took about 20 minutes or so.  I like it.  So I asked Rachel if I should by some dumbbells and make good use of my time outside with Kona.  She said yes.  So weights were order and the birth of the cooler workout began. 

I have done the cooler workout twice this long weekend Saturday and Monday.  Sunday I went to the pool for an hour and did my flexibility exercises, but I added ankle weights this time around.  Made things a little easier b/c it held me down in the water when I took a step but also hard b/c I had ankle weights on and even if they were only a pound it made a difference. 

Anyway the cooler workout evolved as I watched more and more you tubes about sitting dumbbell workouts.  What was finally constructed was a thirty minute workout that goes something like this.

Grab two 5 lbs dumbbells (I bought 10 lbs too but let’s start where we start I haven’t lifted weights in like 10 years maybe?).  Then I got pound and a half ankle weights.  That is right I am going nuts on the ankle weights, anything to give my big ole doughy body resistance.  Then I go went out back with my flex ball and my cooler. 

Starting out on the flex ball I did the following routine 3 times.

-          Bench press making a table out of my body 12 times.

-          Fly 12 times still making a table out of my body.

-          Then I got into a squatting position using the ball the prop me up and did 12 incline presses.

-           

Then the big black ball goes into the house and I strap on the ankle weights and sit down on the cooler.  Kona comes over to play but I have to ignore her unless I am on one of my minute brakes in between my three cycles. 

The cooler routine goes like this three times each:

-          Stand up and sit down while holding the dumbbell.    I try and make sure my knees don’t go over my toes like a good squat motion.   This is done 12 times.

-          Then I do lateral raises 12 times.

-          Then I do shoulder shrugs 12 times.

-          Then I do overhead press 12 times.

-          Then I do shoulder rolls 12 times.

-          Then I do front raise 12 times

-          Then I do foot tapping pulling my toes up as high as I can.  I do it 24 times to start then go up by each time I do it, I got up to 80 today.

-          Then I do curls 12 times.

-          Then I do these leg lifts where I just pick my foot up, curl the toe and kick out and put it back down 12 times for each leg.

-          One minute break, play with dog, and then do it again.

I got to the end both days I did it and realized, I forgot my triceps extension.  So I do it three times and each time in between I rotate between my toe taps and my leg kicks.

The toe taps for me are a life saver.  When I used to marathon I would get really tight in the shins and calves.  My coach told me to start toe tapping and do it at my desk and much as I could.  Shin and calve issues when away.  So while it might not be a conventional activity it is always part of my routine. 

Time to start smoking!

That is meat smoking, silly, not smoking, smoking.

Happy Long Weekend!!

12 50’s

I told you I was tired.  I was standing in the hallway at work yesterday and an employee was talking to me and I felt like I blacked out.  I suddenly couldn’t remember where I was or what was being said.  Sure five hours of sleep didn’t help, lack of sugar didn’t either.  I was so tired.  I stumbled a little on my feet and swayed.  The employee asked me if I was ok and I shrugged it off.   However, I decided that the gym was out, M,W,F the pool was ritual, but I was too tired.   I turned towards another employees cube and waddled that way. 

I sat down and I hoped that Nate would tell me dude you are too tired just go home.  It is what I wanted to hear because I felt like I was.  I didn’t want to go swim.   I just wanted to go sit my fat ass down on the couch.  I wanted to get to bed early.  I wanted a lot of things but mostly I wanted someone else to tell me it is was ok to miss a workout.  If someone agreed with me, then I could put that little voice in my head that said you’re just making an excuse not to go, you know that right.

I looked at Nate and I said, I am tired, I can barely move.  He said you need to go home and get rest.  It was what I wanted to hear.  So at first I was happy.  I said I am so tired I am going to skip the gym tonight.  He looked at me, and said, is today an extra day or is it a planned day.  I said planned.  He said well if you are tired you should go home and rest.  However, I didn’t really believe him when he said it, or was it that the voice in my head was saying, dude really too tired to swim?  Come on. 

So I said it out loud.  “What if I am tired, but not too tired to swim and I am just using being tired as an excuse not to go to the gym.”  Nate turned away from his laptop and looked at me for a minute or two.  Turned backed typed something, and then looked over again.  Nate is an employee, but I also call him friend so I respect what he has to say.  However, I was pulling for him to be passive aggressive and tell me just to go home.    His response was something to the extent of “I don’t know what you should do but I can almost guarantee if you go to the pool, you are going to feel better.  I think any remaining air I had in me, was completely sucked out of me at that point because tired or not, sick or not, it really didn’t matter there was one fundamental truth and that is when I go to the water, I feel better.

I stood up and cursed him for not being any help.  I told him to pack up his stuff and let’s go home.  It was after 6 anyway.  We got to the parking lot and I couldn’t find my car.  I also couldn’t hear the conversation Nate was having with another co-worker.  I was just so god damned tired.  I finally remember where I parked, I told the gents good bye and I waddled to my car. 

I climbed into it and I fired it up.  I love Snowflake she sounds like a space ship revering up when I hit the power button.  An all too familiar battle started in my head “to go” or “not to go”?  I pulled out of the parking lot with the battle going back and forth.  The sleep kept creeping in from me on all sides and I was straining to keep my eyes open.  I wanted to go home.  Who cares and who would know if I missed a scheduled swim?  The answer to that was all too easy, I would. 

I would know that I let myself down.  I knew that if I was alert enough to be asking the question in the back of my mind of using tiredness to get out of a workout, then perhaps there was some truth to what I was doing.  I told myself  had to get up early on Thursday, I told myself I still had to cook dinner, I needed to see my dog, and I needed to be in bed early, all the things that tell me it is ok to not honor an agreement I made with myself. 

That is when a new voice came into my head.  It was quiet and somewhat peaceful and it just simply said “It is boob night and boob night is the easiest of all my swim sets.”   I have been calling my breaststroke workout “boob night’ for as long as I have kept this blog.  The truth is breaststroke is my best stroke and b/c of how you breathe during breaststroke it is my strongest.  Free Style I am forcing myself to bi-lateral breathe and that has become a nightmare stroke.  Backstroke is backstroke and while I was a kid I was king of the backstroke.  As a fat middle aged man, it is hard for me, gets me wheezing like an old goat.  However, Boob stroke, well that is pretty enjoyable.  I work hard but the motion is easy for me and the breathing is easy for me.  Maybe just maybe I could do some boob stroke.

The next thing I said to myself is you don’t even have to do your flexibility exercises after you swim.  Just give me 600 yard of breaststroke.  That is all.  No more, not less.  30 minutes max.  You can do that.  Can’t you? 

I was unsure.  I was tried you see.  I didn’t want to go.  However, I kept talking to myself.  You just need to go and 24 laps, 600 yards.  It is nothing.  It is a drop in the bucket.  You don’t have to do drills.  You don’t have to follow a routine.  No pulls, no kicks, and not drills, just swim 600 meter breaststroke.   That is easy, it just a few 50’s (a fifty being down and back in the pool).  How many is that.  I looked for my phone to do the math.  Yes, I am CPA that can’t do math, suck it.  I realized I was driving and I would not look at my phone.  So in my tired mine, I started doing division.   It took me a moment but I figured out that 50 went into the first two numbers of 600, which is 60, one time.  I was cooking with gasoline now.  So the remainder of 60 minus 50 would be, what would it be now, it would be 10.  Yes ten was the left over.  Then If I drop down the zero, then I have one hundred.  Then I found myself yelling in the car very excitedly 50 goes into 100 twice that is a two.  So if I have 1 and 2 I have 12.  That means I have to do 12 50’s to get to 600.  I can do 12 50’s can’t I?  I mean I can, right?  Yes, I was sure I could. 

So, I took the next exit and headed to the pool.  I just kept telling myself I can do 12 50’s.  I can do it.  12 50’s I got this.  I repeated it over and over in my head until I got to the parking lot. I got out.  My body said no, let’s go home.  Tired!

I was at the gym therefore nothing was going to stop me from going in and doing what I came to do.  12 50’s I could do that.  I stumbled my way into the locker room after getting yelled at by the front desk for not properly checking in and stilling towels.  I got all changed and ready to go.  12 50’s I can do this. 

I walked out to the pool.  A dude was in my favorite lane and I hated him for it.  So, I took the third lane over and walked to the other end of the pool.  12 x 50’s I can do this.  I always walk to the deep in and then just jump in.  That way I don’t run the risk of jarring my knees.   I noticed the asshole in my lane walking to the middle of the pool and diving under.  What was he doing?  I jumped in. 

There is something about the pool that transforms me from a limping fatty to a graceful fish.  It also changed me from someone who was exhausted to someone who had a little pep in his step.  It was not simply the freezing cold water either waking my ass up.  As I walked back to my goggles and water in the shallow end, I started to come alive and I decided 12 50’s is all I needed to do, but that didn’t mean I had to do them in a specified order.  So I decided to swim a pyramid.  I went: 50, 100, 150, 150, 100, 50 and it felt amazing.  By the end my chest was sore as fuck and my arms were tired but I did it.  Each stroke I felt stronger and stronger.  I was so happy I was there and in the pool.

Then after the swim, I put on my aqua socks and did another 20 minutes of flexibility exercises.  I walked just about every way you can walk in the pool.  Forwards, backwards, side step, butt kickers, fart licks, and even walked high knees.  Man I was on a roll.  I was like I should go ahead and so my strengthening kicks and maybe some stretching too.  However, I did look at that time and it was 15 past 7 and I had been in the water for 50 minutes.  I did still need to go home and cook dinner and play with my puppy that was no lie.  So I departed the pool.  I showered.  I dressed.  I went home.  I cooked.  I ate on plan.  I played with my monkey dog.  I crawled into bed around 10 last night after putting Kona in bed.  According to the sleep watch I didn’t actually fall asleep until after 11 and I was up again at 4:15… However, that is all good.  Solo tonight, 7 a.m. call tomorrow, and then an 8 o’clock call, then I hang out at work till noon and then I am ghost for a long ass weekend! 

the next 90

The Next 90…

I am tired.  I can’t keep my head up tired.  However, I also stuck in the office.  I look over at my couch longingly and wish I could lie down and rest, however, I think sleeping in the office is generally frowned upon.  I ache and I am bone weary.  I have trouble keeping my head up.  Why am I so tired?

It could quite possibly be that I was wide awake in bed at 4 a.m. this morning.  Five hours of sleep isn’t really what I am striving for these days, but sometimes that is all I can get.    Perhaps stress one might say but my stress level has been manageable lately.  Could it be I am in the middle of a mid-life crisis?  I don’t think so. I mean I don’t think that is why I am tired.  I know I am in the middle of a mid-life crisis.  So what else has plagued me so?

Then I remember we are 61 hours into our detox.  Detox you ask?  What detox do you speak of?  Then I remember I have neglected my blog.  I have neglected my reader.  Mostly though I just have not taken care of myself very well and I had been hitting the carbs and sugar pretty hard.  So, I decided it was time to do something drastic.  So, I talked to my life coach, we plotted it out, and decided I was going clean for 90 days.  I was once again going to get off my white devil powder.  Well to be more specific there will be no processed sugar, no artificial sweetener, no stevia, no honey, no agave, no coconut sugar, and no fruit except berries (black, blue, and rasp.  To date I have stayed away from the Straw but have not really committed to that one, so after further review, off the Strawberry too. There shall not be any potatoes (red, white, Yukon, hashed, or frenched and fried). No bread. While I can have cheese it has to local cow, goat, or sheep queso. No Fast food.  Should have been a given but I have a problem with the drive thru a bad one.  There shall be no processed foods, frozen, or prepackaged food.  Well unless the said prepared food has less than 4 ingredients or less and I must be able to pronounce and know what each one is.  I am supposed to write down or take photos of food before I eat it but to be honest 8 meals into this detox I have not remembered, but that changed at lunch today.   

So, it hit me like a ton of bricks this afternoon that I am withdrawing.  It was clear when the headache started or at least clear to me.  Ever since Monday, I have been slipping down into this bone weary tiredness I do a shit job of describing above.   My recovery from my swims seems slow.   I have felt a bit sick to my tummy as well. I have not seen purple dragons or unicorns yet, so that is good. 

Honestly, I was supposed to make this type of commitment back in March and I did for a little bit, but I never stuck with it.  I could name a thousand reasons why:  the acquisition, the job, the loneliness, whatever you want to call it.  The biggest was just lack of definition, buy in, and  setting myself up for success. 

Whatever it was matters not now.  What matters now is I am committed to this.  I am in for the long haul and we will see where the next 90 days takes us.  I know this will be much better once I get thru the first few days.  I also know I can do this b/c I want to do this.  For the first time in a really long time I am excited about my program and wanting to succeed at it.

I also realize that I have to figure out where satisfaction in my life is going to come from.  That is critical.  If I am dropping the pleasure that door dashing Baskin Robbins gives me, what do I replace that with?  Lucky for me, I am already thinking about this and have come p with the following list of things I could do:

Write

Play with Kona

Read

Do a puzzle

Get my guitars back out

Journal

Plan vacation

What sunrise/set

Look at cloths I will be wearing once I get my weight down

Watch swimming techniques on YouTube

Watch other learning videos on YouTube

Listen to a Pod Cast, this is my new thing, I am very late to this game

A game of solitaire

Meditate

Exercise

Go to the pool – there is nothing I love more than being in water

Cook

Listen to music

Massage

I love it when a plan comes together!!!