Sunday, January 26, 2014

The Guardian at the Gate - Book I - Chapter 4.a – Dirty Steve (1 of 2)

Bloggers note: as I sit her and man the house and sick puppy by myself (rachel downtown at a convention for work all day) and Dorothy didn't text back, so I have to decide on my own what the proper course of action is.  Chapter 4 is 19 pages long and after re-write it will be longer.  Lots needs to be added.  So I am splitting chapter 4 into a and b.  I think I found the right place to do that, but this is new for me... so I hope you enjoy this chapter it is my favorite I have witten for this story so far. 


Chapter 4.a – Dirty Steve (1 of 2)

            Regional General Hospital was a place that Kody Ransom knew well. He had spent a lot of time here as a child while his Father was making “Rounds”.  He carried his bundle under his right arm.  It was cold, but the jacket he had wrapped around it at least made it a little bit more bearable.  However, he had to switch it back to his left arm because under the right it made his shoulder holster dig into his side and that was really uncomfortable.  His left side was frozen though.  He had forgotten how far back the morgue was in this place.  “Doc never made his rounds in the morgue, or not at least when the boys were with him.” He said to himself. 
            Kody had always thought that hospital were scary places.  Sure they could save lives, but they were so clean and smelled like a cross between highly concentrated cleaning supplies and death.  The florescent lights reflected funny off the sterile white walls and the pale tile floors.  No he didn’t like hospitals. 
            He stopped to get his bearings and look at a line up of gurneys.  He imaged the faces of the all dead he knew lying on those gurneys and shiver not from the bundled under his left arm went through him.  It was a chill that ran down from his top of his spine to his ass.  His shoulders shot up and his head shook and he cringed.  He knew that in some other place someone had just walked over his grave.  Thinking about his grave had at least made the dead on the gurneys vacate.  When we looked back at them they were empty. 
            He looked up at the signs above him. Morgue with arrow pointing to the right marked his path.  There were other places he would have liked to been then.  However, he knew that he couldn’t put this off.  He had a date with a 19 year-old girl with bite marks on her neck.   What a way for a day to end, however, so many of his days in his life ended in much the same way with a dead body and no answers. 
            When he got to the morgues door he exhaled a long breath, wishing he could have a cigarette.  “Fucking bite marks!”  He mumbled and shuddered again.  This time no one had walked over his grave.  He just couldn’t fathom someone biting out someone else’s throat.  No, that isn’t something he wanted to think about at all.  “Bite marks.  Fucking bite marks?”  Something hit him then and he remembered a story from his youth.  “Brent?”  He hadn’t thought about his younger cousin in a long time.  Not since leaving the west and coming back home.  “Do they foreshadow or do they foreshadow?”  He cracked a half smile.  Thinking about Brent Baldwin was a good thought.  However, he pulled himself back from the thoughts and pushed open the doors and walked in.
            “Your fucking late Ransom.  It’s gonna cost ya.”  The voice came out in a thick southern accent, much to drawn out for any Hoosier.  “I thought maybe you had forgotten about little ole me and wasn’t gonna come.  I was gonna have kick ya ass for that.”
            “Dirty Steve?”
            “Dr. Steve, now.  Remember I am a trained professional.”
            “I’m sorry, with that pencil thin mustache on your upper lip, I mistook you for the boy I once knew.  Dude, it has been twenty years and that thing still hasn’t grown in, you should really give up.  I have more hair in my left nostril than you will ever have under yours.”
            “Hey!” he said standing, and rubbing the dirt stained scruff above his upper lip.  “That’s my peach fuzz!” 
            “Ya and that is all it will ever be.”
            “Well your Mom never complained about it.”
            Kody laughed out loud and rolled his eyes “I am sorry, is that you Dirty Steve or is Poogie in here some where throwing his voice.” He started to look around the room.  As if to find the missing ventriloquist who was one of the their old friends.  
            “I grow a much better mustache than that scrawny bastard.”
            “Oh, hi Pot! Where is your friend the Kettle?  Scrawny dude have you looked in the mirror lately?  I am surprised your frail little bones will even hold up your skin, let alone that thick stash you got going on.  Plus that isn’t saying much growing a better mustache the Poogie O’Shaughnessy.”
            “Well.  Point taken.  Doesn’t change the fact that you are late.”
            “But Dirty Steve, I am only late because I got you a gift.”  Kody pulled the bundle out from under his arm and pulled his jacket off of it revealing a frosty twelve pack of Bush Light in bottles.
            Steve’s eyes light up like a Christmas tree.  “Shit Kody!  Bottles, you shouldn’t have, what is the special occasion?”
            “Um, I was late!”
            The two looked at each other and burst out in laughter.  “Shit Kody you sure do know how to treat a feller.   Damn, you know how to treat a man!”
            Kody smiled and looked at his fifth oldest friend. “I know you Dirty Steve.  Since we were 15, I have known you and your eloquent tastes.”  He said nodding towards the man behind the desk. 
            “Well, shit ya, well I guess you do.” He licked his lips and smacked them looking at the twelve pack in Kody’s hand.
            “Shall I open one for you?”
            Stilling smacking his lips.  “Well…  I think we have some business in back to attend too before we do that.  I really can’t stomach a beer while I am working ya know.”
            Kody shrugged and walked over the fridge and opened it turned and looked at Steve “Um.  There aren’t any, well you know, um…”
            “Parts in there?”  Steve grinned from ear to ear.  “No Kody, that is the office fridge, we keep all the eye balls and organs in the back.”  Kody turned shrugging with a grin.  He had a beer in his hand and was about to twist the cap off.  “Well, Kody, no offense. I don’t like having eats and drinks back in the office.  Ya know.  Things are sort of delicate back there and you know if something gets spilled or contaminated or whatever.  Well, it can be a nasty business.”
            He turned and put the beer back.  “I get it.  Shall we get this over with?”
            “Ya.  We shall.”  
            Steve nodded toward the double doors behind him and they headed off into the lab. 
            “Kody.  I know I aint a worldly man and I the only time I spent outside of Indiana was when I was at medical school down south.  But I have been working in this hospital since I graduated and I have seen a lot of weird shit.”  He stopped and turned to his old friend and his face looked haggard.  “I am sure in the big city you saw this kind of shit all the time, but I aint never seen nothing like this.  Christ man, its pretty fucked up ya know?”
            “I know.  It is.  To be honest with all I saw in the west and all with the bureau on special assignment, I never saw anything quite like this.”
            Steve looked to the ground.  Then back at his friend.  “Shit man.  What are we dealing with?  Big Joe can usually explain this stuff to me, but this man.  Shit.  Ah man come on let me show what I got.”
            Kody nodded towards the lab as if to say lets do it.  The two men looked at each other again, and they both knew that other didn’t want to go into that lab and look at that body.  They both knew that whatever happened to that girl in her last moments of life where awful and that she deserved better.  Anyone did.  Steve nodded and turned and walked through the double doors.
            Once they were both through Steve reaching into his pocket and pulled out a can.  He locked it tightly between thumb and forefinger and started flipping his wrist up and own. 
           “Time the fuck out?  I can’t have a beer in hear because it might contaminate the room but you can have a dip?”
            Steve turned around as he was putting a rather large pinch between his lower lip and gum.  He packed it down with his tongue and swallowed closing the can. “Well I was gonna offer you one.   I aint selfish.”
            “Dude, this shit is like dirt and can get every where.  Beer, in bottle, not getting everywhere.” Kody said looking around as if to find someone help him with his argument.  The bodies in the morgue’s lab didn’t over any opine.
            “Hey.  This aint dirt.  This is, well it is my fucking office and my rules.” He puffed up his small chest as if to assert his dominance. 
            “Fuck.  Whatever?”
            “That mean you don’t want one?”
            Kody smiled.  It was a sad smile and shook his head.  It was the smile of someone who wanted one, who needed one, but wouldn’t and couldn’t have one.  Steve recognized the look.  He had seen it often before on the face of junkies and drunks that just wanted one more fix or drink.  He looked at the can in his hand and shook his head.  “That’s right you quit. I forgot.  Well, I could spit it out?”
            “No, friend.  No need.”  Steve turned and walked towards the corner of the room and took a lab jacket off the peg.  “It was the hardest thing I ever did you know.  Quit chewing.  I could pick up and quit cigarettes whenever, I wanted, but chew.  Well it was my bane.  The mighty bear of Kodiak.  I loved that shit.  The feel.  Well it made everything.  Well, better.”
            Steve looked at him and nodded.  “That’s why I can’t put it down.”
            “Two weeks to clear my system.  Two fucking weeks.  They were bad too.  I was depressed.  I was angry. I was sad.  I would get back to the apartment at night and just go sit on my bed and stare at the wall.  It was awful.  My roommates would come in and I would bite their heads off and stare at the wall.  I can’t ever do that again.  I can’t.”  He cracked a smile.  “Shit, that is pathetic.”
            “Nah.  I respect that.”  He nodded.  Then said put on some gloves and a lab coat.  Then we can have a little look.  He picked up a bottle and spit into it. 
            Kody slipped on his jacket and started to pull on his rubber gloves.  He looked and Steve was walking over to the cabinet.  He flipped his lab coat out in his left hand as to shake cobwebs off of it.  Then slipped his left arm in and reached back with his right and through the jacket over his shoulders.  When he did that Kody stopped and watched Steve’s bony shoulders pull back and as the right arm went into the jacket and then saw his gangly friends arms shoot out to each side in a wide arc.  An arc Kody had seen before.  Years ago, not by this man but by the boy he had been.  He watched the arms arc out and his wingspan explode out and Kody wans transferred back to when they were not quite boys but not yet men.

            It was Halloween of their junior at WSH and they were the Kings of the School, and not just in their minds.  Kane Ransom had handed the keys to the castle over to his younger brother and the rest of the Fab Five.  They took up the mantle gladly from the likes of Kane, Monster May, Slimy, and Johnny Updike.  Their presiders were legends of Wander but the Fab Five were making their own way to super stardom of Wander South High School annals.  The parties, the women, the mischief were things that any teenaged boy would be proud of. 
            This particular Halloween they had teamed with their arch enemies, the boys their referred to as the Dorks.  They were more straight and narrow boys in their graduating class.  These boys knew more about beakers than bitches.  They thought beer was a disgusting beverage.  They didn’t approve of the Fives permiscuous ways.  However a union was formed between the two groups to rain havoc on the girls of their junior class.  The girls thought it would be great to toilet paper or roll the junior boys houses.   They had made the mistake of rolling Dirty Steve and Uzi’s house when they were out on their little papering spree.  They hadn’t rolled L.J., Poogie, or Kody’s house though.  You didn’t roll the prosecutors and sheriffs house.  Well and the Ransom’s?  Well that was a story all of its own.  If you could breach the gates around the house, the guards or the dogs would have you before you got out of your car.  If you didn’t have the authorization, you didn’t get onto the grounds.  Also, Doc didn’t take well to pranks on his property.  People had learned that the hard way years before Kody was ever born. 
            It was a warm autumn in Wander that year and the Fab Five were out in the Dirty Steve’s beat up Isuzu truck. The truck really was not a well-oiled machine.  Steve had hand painted it himself the summer before.  He had disappeared for two weeks in Doc’s barn.  He had a fairly nice small red truck he had bought with his lawn mowing money.  However, when he was done with it that summer it had a homemade paint job of black and stenciled letters across the front that read “Born to be Wild” across the top of the windshield.
              Kody was riding shotgun with Dirty Steve. His right hand was casted and he rested it on his right knee.  He never wanted to play football.  He was a child of summer and the sun swimming and baseball were his games.  However, he played because it was expected of him.  He was a decent full back, like Kane had been before him.  He was an adequate linebacker.  Not like the all-state line backing honors Kane had earned him his full ride to Florida State. So in the big rivalry game this year Kody was making a tackle against North,  his hand got caught in the running backs jersey and his fingers were twisted back and touched his wrist and he hard a pop.  His flexor tendons in his right hand had snapped.  He couldn’t make a fist with his right hand.  He had wanted to play the season out, however, if he had he wouldn’t have been ready for spring baseball and well, he had to be ready for spring ball.  They had a chance at state this year and well, it was summer and it was baseball and at the end of the day their wasn’t really a choice.
            Surgery had sucked.  Well, everything but the pain medication.  Kody loved that pain medication.  He still wished he could get his hands on some.  To that point he had never really been stoned, however, whatever they gave him in that hospital had rocked his world.  He remember passing his left hand in front of his face and seeing ten thousands hands trailing across his eyes.  Two hours later and two more shots of whatever that stuff was and Kody had survived his second surgery. 
            The worst part about that day wasn’t the surgery though it was the pain that lingered afterwards.  The meds that Mom and Doc had feed him were not nearly as good as the meds he had in the hospital.  His parents always said he had an addictive personality and so even with pain medication they rationed it to the bear minimum.  They figured it was better for their middle son to suffer than to get addicted to the pain killers.  Kody didn’t understand that at the time.    
            Monica was the flavor the month that month during his junior year.  So she had come over to see him that night after surgery.  He was lying on his floor watching a movie.  She was lying on his bed talking to him.  She was so into him at the time.  He was indifferent as he normally was once they became interested.  They were talking when Koy ran into his room and said the L.J. had been in an accident with Uzi. 
            Monica spun on his bed and kicked her leg out to see what Koy was rambling on about and that is when she kicked him in his right hand.  The pain that shot through his body was worse than anything he had ever felt.  He had almost blacked out. She had pleaded, “Oh, honey, she was so sorry!”  However, Kody wasn’t a forgiving man and his wicked tongue gave her a lashing that she wasn’t prepared for or had never had before in her life.  The venom that dripped off Kody Ransom’s tongue left the poor girl in tears and left him pointing to the door.  That was pretty much he and Monica’s first and last date.  Though neither would release it at the time that kick prevented their relation from progressing from simply flittering to anything else, and in the end probably saved Monica’s life.
            So Kody sat with his right arm on his knee in the cab of Steve’s truck.  L.J., Uzi, and Poogie were in the back with the rotten tomatoes and the eggs.  They had gone through twenty cartons of eggs so far and intended use the remaining thirty-two they had before it was said and done.  The rotten left over tomatoes from Doc’s garden came in super handy too.  There was nothing so hard to get out cloths or off a car than rotten tomatoes and raw eggs and shells.
            The way of the Fab Five was simple and came from their favorite movie “The Untouchables”.  “You wanna know how to get Capone? They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. *That's* the *Chicago* way! And that's how you get Capone. Now do you want to do that? Are you ready to do that? I'm offering you a deal. Do you want this deal?”.  The Fab Five played by similar rules; you come after one of us with Toilet Paper we come after you with Tomatoes and Eggs.   That was the *Wander* way!   
            “Black Reaper.   Black Reaper come in.” Cushh the static crackled from the radio that Kody held in his.  “Black Reaper, this is the Red Reaper.”
            Steve grabbed the radio our of Kody’s good hand and spit in his dib cup at the same time.  Who was steering the truck Kody wondered?
            “Horns is that you?  You with Mickey now?” 
            “Dirty Steve, that you.  Where are you buddy?”
            “We are getting ready to turn on to Curry Drive down by Hull.  You find that fucking bitch yet?”
            “She wasn’t at her nest.  We are going to look over by Geckler’s and then Sara’s.”
            “Copy that Horns.  We are gonna head towards Dixie Landing and see where them bitches are hiding.  TP my fucking house.”  He spit again.  “I hear they even did your little sisters doll house.  That’s just fucking sick.”
            “That is right.  If you find them let us know we will do the same.  Red Reaper out.”
            “Copy that Red Reaper.” Steve tossed the radio to Kody.  “What a fucking goat.”  Steve laughed.
            “I like Horns.” Kody said.  Steve had made the turn onto Curry without stopping at the four way stop.  He looked back at his friends in the back.  They yelling but he couldn’t hear them.  Steve had made them spill their beers.
            “Ah shit Kody, you know I like them dorks too. I was one of them right.  That is what you always said.  But you have to admit, Horns can be sort of a goat. I mean we call him Horns after all because of his excellent set of Goat Horns.” 
            “He will never live that down.  I am glad Poogie is one of our friends.  I would hate to hear what he would call us.”
            “What the fuck you talking about he calls me a Bone Rack!”
            “Have you looked into the mirror?  You are sort of a rack of bones after all.”
            “I am bigger than he is!”
            “Are you?  You both are runts in my eyes.”
            “Fuck you.  Mr. Football player.  I need to be small, helps me play the outfield that is where my speed comes from.  Shit, not my fault I aint fat like you!”
            “Fat! Fat! Well that is just mean!   I am a respectable 225 thank you.  It is appropriate for my height and stature.  I mean I am a linebacker and fullback.  If I was your or Poogie’s size, I might as well be a punter.   5’11 and 225 I am fucking built baby.  Plus that only thing your mom says is fat on my is my hog!”
            “What are you Kody or Poogie?  I am sorry, I thought you were in back Poogie.”
            “What, Poogie isn’t the only kid in town the fucks your mom!  He is just he only one who does it without a bag over her face!”
            “Hey.  That is my mom you are talking about.”
            “Ya, I know and tell her the next time you see her to stop calling me.  She is so needy.”
            “Ah man! Fuck…”
            Rat-ta-tat-tat.  Something struck Steve’s truck and windshield and struck hard. 
            Steve was off the gas and on the breaks in a blink of the eye.  The three boys in the back smacked up against the cab.  The Isuzu screeched to a stop in the middle of Curry drive and Steve was in reverse and the boys in back slide to the back towards the tailgate.  Kody thought he had whiplash.  Steve reversed and pulled to the other side of the road and rolled down his window.  
            He reached under his seat and pulled something out and tossed it to Kody.  Kody caught it in his good hand. 
            “Steve what the fuck is this?”  Kody asked looking at the pistol in hand.
            “Ah shit it’s just a pellet gun.  Don’t worry about it.  It’s just to scare them.”
            “Scare whom?” but before the question was out of his mouth Dirty Steve was out of the car screaming come here you fuckers.  And running up the hill on the side of the road.  Kody slid out behind him and turned to the other three and yelled “I’ll get him, Poogie, get behind the wheel incase we need to get out of here quick.”
            “What fuck is going on!” Uzi yelled “Some mother fucker just his me with some corn kernels and that make me angry mad!”
            “Uzi, sit down and shut up! Poogie behind the wheel!” Kody said as he hustled up the hill behind Steve. 
            What he saw when he got to the top of the hill, he would never forget?  It will go down as one of the funniest things he had ever seen in his life. 
            Dirty Steve was chasing down to kids.  Dirty Steve and his 6 feet and all hundred and fifty maybe sixty pounds of him.  Chasing to kids that were clearly bigger than him.  They were running and trying to run fast.  However, Steve was right he was quick. Cat like quick and he was gaining on them.  That wasn’t what surprised Kody. 
            What surprised him was when he saw Steve’s elbows shoot back and his bony shoulders compress together and then his arms shot out and his wingspan was immense.  Then he was jumping and Dirty Steve his wiry boney frame was tackling not one but two kids.  One under each arm.  Kody stood there and roared laughter.  It was a scene out of a bad movie, where the good guy was taking down the two bad guys at the end.  Kody was looking around for the hero’s vixen to come kiss him and tell him what a great big hero he was. 
            Steve rolled to his right and he was on top of one of the kids.  He had his first to his jaw and he was cussing something about scratching his truck. 
            The other kid saw his opportunity and stood up and got ready to run but when he turned to go, he was looking down the barrel of a gun.  “Greetings and Salutations Friend!” Kody said in his best Christian Slater impression and it was good.  “Where do think your going?”
            The kids jaw dropped and Kody saw a wet patch spread across his pants.  The kid took a step back and Kody pressed him “You better be sure!  I already know you aint fast.  You think you can out run a gun?”  Still trying to sound like Mr. Slater.  Damn Christian Slater was cool!  He had good hair too.  Kody wished he had hair like that.
            “How we doing Dirty Steve?”  Kody called over his shoulder.  He heard Steve getting up and he heard him wrestling the kid up from the ground.
            “Well Kody, I think we have some sophomores here.”  Steve picked up a bag off the ground and dumped it on the ground.   A pile of corn kernels fresh-shucked pile at his feet.  “They were out corning it looks like.  They sure picked the wrong fucking car to tear up!  My sweet black baby!”
            Kody smiled and thought to himself come on Steve you know as well as I do, that truck is a piece of shit.  It was nice when you bought it and you turned it into junk.  He said nothing and waived the kid at gunpoint to join his companion.  “You to fine gents please march in front of us.  Try to run, I will plug you both.  I promise!”
            “That’s pellet gun” Steve’s kid said. 
            “You want to find out what it feels like having a pellet in the ass friend?  If not then walk.”
            Kody looked at Steve as to say what now.  Steve just grinned and nodded towards the truck.  Kody shrugged and followed the kids smiling. 
            Back at the truck Uzi was standing at the back tailgate with a beer in his right hand and pissing over the side out into Curry Drive.  Poogie and L.J. stood next to the truck drinking beers themselves. 
            “Well, what the fuck do we got here.” L.J. said “A couple little vaginas hiding in the weeds tossing corn.  You fuckers got me in the eye.”  He had a huge dip in his mouth and he started walking towards the kids.  Kody was thinking his buddy was pretty drunk.  Poogie grabbed him and pulled him back. 
            “Gorman and Dilger.  What are you pussies out doing!  Your mommy’s know you are out tonight?”  Poogie asked.  Poogie shook Gorman’s hand.  Then looked at Dilger “Son you have an accident?”
            “I uh…” Steve grabbed him and pulled him over to his truck. 
            “See what you did to my black baby!  You sons of bitches scratched her up with that corn.  How could you hit my car with corn?  I am gonna kill you sons of bitches!”
            “Ah come on now Steve, I golf with these two.  They are sophs but they are ok. You guys wants a beer?”
            They both started to stammer something, when Steve barked “But my black baby!  Look what they did.  These motherfuckers!”
            “Steve, we are out hitting cars with eggs and tomatoes.  A lot nicer cars than this roadster.”  Poogie said. “It’s Halloween!  Hello.  Kids are out tricking!”
            “But it’s my black baby! They should at least have to give me a wax job.”
            “Beers for a wax job?”  Poogie asked.
            The boys nodded agreement.  Poogie told L.J. to get to beers out of the cooler and give to the kids. 
            “Wait.”  Kody said, sliding the pellet gun into the small of his back and belt. “Uzi.  There is a pair of sweets in my bag and some clean boxers.  Toss them to Dilger.  Dilger go change then boys let’s talk.”  Uzi tossed the bag to Dilger and he went behind some trees to change.
            “Gorman?”  Uzi said swaying and lighting a joint.  “Gorman?  Didn’t I fuck your sister?”
            “Um, no sir.  I don’t have a sister.”
            “Really, you sure, I could have sworn I fucked a Gorman.  You sure it wasn’t your sister?”
            “That was Garland.  She was a senior last year.  Said she had always wanted the quarterback?”  Poogie said.  “I took you to her house last Christmas break?”
            Uzi took a long pull off his joint and handed it to L.J.  As he exhaled, he looked at Poogie and then looked at Gorman, then he a huge green split his face.  “Oh, ya!” He pulled his long blonde hair back behind his head and put it in a tail.  Then he took his bandana out of his pocket and tied it over his head.  “I remember her.” He said pointing at Gorman.  He snickered. 
            Kody pulled the Camels out of his side pocket and lit one.  He offered one to Gorman who declined.  Dilger returned looking ashamed. 
            “No worries kid!”  Kody said. “Poogie pisses himself all the time.”
            “Wait what!  I do not.”
            “I jest.  Look you got tackled and got up to a gun in your face; anyone would have pissed himself or herself.  That was my bad.  Beer?”
            The kid shook his head.  Uzi pulled a beer out and tossed it to him. 
            “Can I ask you something?”  Kody asked.  The boys nodded for him to go ahead. “Do you two and your friends, because I heard them running off, have shit for brains?”
            The kids looked at him dumbly. 
            Kody shook his head.  “Your out corning right!”  The boys nodded.  “If you are going to corn a car and need a quick get away, why the fuck would you choose a spot where you had to run uphill to get away. That is just shit-off stupid.  Welling running was dumb in the first place.  That gave you away.  Then trying to run up hill.  Come on boys.  You have to be better than that.  You find a nice ditch.  With nice down hill run into some trees and you guys are like ghosts.  You are gone.  98% of people running after you will fall and roll down the hill and you guys are out of here and half way home before they get up. Three good out posts for corning.  1 down by Hull Cemetery, I know it is creepy, as hell but good down hill and you can get lost in the bone yard if you need too.  Two over off Pfizer and Dixie Landing road, great down hill and lots places to hide and get away.  Finally.”
            “Don’t tell them the third place Kody.  You know that isn’t safe.”  Poogie said. 
            “Your such a little bitch Poog.”  L.J. said rolling back into the bed of the truck.  Where he and Uzi passed the joint back and forth.  Poogie shook his head and looked at Kody.
            “Look Poogie I agree. Dead Man’s curve is no place to corn, but you have to admin tithe location is prime.”
            “Well yes, of course it is, but is killing people going around the curve worth it?”
            “I didn’t say that.  Did I?  Boys if you ever take up on the Dead Man’s Curve for corning, I will find out and I will shoot you both in the nuts with this pellet gun!  It’s a great location but you will kill someone and well killing people is bad.  There is no money in it!”
            “He means there is not beer or pussy in it!” Dirty Steve said picking at one of the scratches on his truck. 
            Kody smiled at his friend. “So, do we understand each other, if you are going to corn, you do it in a good location.  Another beer?”  They all shared another beer and Kody laid the ropes out for them. Then he explained to them what they were up too and how they were getting even this Halloween. 
            That is when Dilger spoke up.  “There was this girl, and she sort of did me wrong.  You think you could egg her for me?  Maybe nail her with a tomatoes or something?”
            Uzi popped his head over the side of the truck.  “What did she do to you my man?  We are the Noble Fabulous Five!  We don’t just egg people because we want to.  No, no my good man.  We do it because we fight for the injustices done upon the world, we are petty enforcers.”  He pointed at Dilger.
            “Well, she sort of well, did me wrong.”
            “Unless, she fucked you brother, or something worse, then we can’t help.”  L.J. added.
            “What is she like Kody and Garland?”  Poogie asked.
            Kody turned and looked at Poogie.  The look said, really son, do you want to do this right now.  Poogie got his most innocent look on his face.  “What did I say?”
            “Poogie shut up.”  L.J. said. “I want to hear what this man has to say.  Uzi beer me and him, Kody, Poogie, and Steve.  Beers for all!”
            “Well.” Dilger started when Gorman jumped in.
            “She invited him to a skinny dipping and then she took his cloths and made him sneak home in nothing but his skin.  Said she did it because he had cheated on him in the eighth grade or something like that.”
            “Name?”  Uzi asked.
            “Jody Harkins.” The boys said together. 
            “Tommy Harkins little sister!”  Uzi said with a smile “I hate that mother fucker.  Biggest hazer on the team when I was a freshman.  Tried to tape my ass cheeks together until Monster put him in his place.  Don’t fuck with the kid Monster said, he is Kody’s buddy and if you fuck with Kody’s you fuck with Kane, and if you fuck with Kane you fuck with the Monster!  Guy was a prick the rest of the season that six-foot goober, but he never hazed me again.  I would personally shuck an entire carton of eggs up her ass for you my man.”
            “Took you cloths?”  Kody said looking at the kid.
            “She also um sort of kicked me in my junk.  Because I was chasing her and caught her and almost had my boxers and she turned and kicked me really hard.  I puked.   Her and her friends all laughed at me.  It has been pretty hard to live down, then tonight with the gun.  High School sucks.” Dilger moaned.
            “First!” Kody looked at Gorman then at his four friends “what happened with the gun stays with us, as far as the wetting goes.  Because we are all WHS men and we have to stick together.  Second, she crossed a line when she kicked you in the nuts.  That just isn’t right.  Gorman you should have already avenged him.  Is he not your boy?  You have to watch out for you boys. If you don’t, then who will?  It is rule 1.  Write it down.  Friends first.  Friends are everything.  Look we are stuck in this hellhole town and school for four years.  Those years suck and are miserable.  We owe it to ourselves to drink as much beer and try to frolic with as many women as we can.  That is rule 2.  Write it down.  Ransom Rules! They are really more laws than rules. Passed to me by Kane.  I will pass them to you and then to Koy.  It is the way of the cornfield; it is the way of the one horse two high school men. Now. No one can kick a man in the nuts and get away with it, unless he is being abusive and deserves it. Did you deserve it?  Did you go for the home run when she said no?  Did you keeping going after she said stop?”
            “No, I didn’t do anything, I dumped her before an 8th grade mixer and she held a grudge.  Honest.  I can’t believe you’d think I do something like that.”
            “Look, not accusing anyone of anything.  This is not personal.  It is Ransom Rules after all.  Rule one should always be no means no.  Life aint a penthouse letter after all.  Your plight sounds legit. Fab Five?”  They are bellowed agreement. “So we the Fab Five will take on this challenge.  We will hunt her and we will avenge you my good man.  So you two in the truck. Steve you drive.  I will take shotgun.  We go and get his bitch and let the justice be served the Fab Five way.  We make her pay.  Then we find the junior whores and take our vengeance on them.  Then we go home, call up sophomore women frolic if frolicking is approved and we drink on.”
             The boys and the rest of the Fab Five took up the call and roared in agreement.  They loaded the car and went hunting.


Chapter 4.b – Dirty Steve (2 of 2)

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